MorrisrownSal Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Hey guys, We had one of those good/bad weekends... we drove my son to college at U Michigan. It's a long drive from New Jersey to Ann Arbor. One of the things that was very obvious to us (well to me - as a Wall Street trader anyway) was the proliferation of microwave towers that have been erected along the route. The microwave towers beam signals by line of sight faster than fiber optic cables... about a few thousandths of a second faster. I know that sounds silly, but it is what it is, and Wall Street pays hundreds of millions to go just a smidge faster than the next guy. Anyway, we kind of had fun in that we kept pointing out the towers and taking pictures of them, which made us take our minds off of the goodbye that was coming. My son Billy is amazing. We are proud of him but are lost without him; we'll have some adjusting to do around here. Anyway I wrote a song about the trip, called Wall Street's Microwaves - which is not really about the microwaves. Here it is: https://soundcloud.c...eets-microwaves I would love to know what you think. I just strummed chords plain jane on the LG2. If you think a different pattern, speed, or style would suit it I would love to here your opinions. This is raw. Fire away and I have a thick skin and can take it; I just know so many of you have some serious skills, and I want to make this one good. If it can be good that is. Wall Street’s Microwaves The car gassed; and packed through and through We headed out, from New Jersey… to A2 The sun barely up; coffee in our cups We saw the first. Round disk taboo. By Tannersville; upon a steel easel it sat. I asked him if; he knew exactly what was that. He said it helps em trade fast, and then another one we passed. As did the time. It made it just a little less sad. 18 years in our home; and now he’s movin on. His path ahead now paved Line of sight marked by Wall Street’s microwaves. Near Belefonte, a famous one high in the sky. We pointed all of em out, it made the time fly by. Block out the coming parting, the microwaves we’re charting Clarion;another one nearby. Ohio towns, they didn’t stop the line you know. Past Niles…Sandusky and through Toledo. Four hours still to pass; we better stop for gas. Another dish though the trees keeps me feelin low. 18 years in our home; and now he’s movin on. His path ahead now paved Line of sight marked by Wall Street’s microwaves We passed a sign; Ann Arbor … a little ahead. Off to the right – a disc beaming infrared. No longer can we stall, the empty in my souls. So Go Blue. Is what we said. We dropped him off, and we said goodbye. Next morning drove, a red sun low in the sky. Not a word we spoke. Our hearts feelin broke. Look tot he left, the towers… they frame the sky. 18 years in our home; and now he’s movin on. His path ahead now paved Line of sight marked by Wall Street’s microwaves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duluthdan Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Making the private, public, always a challenge. By that I mean, is this something a general audience would get? Right away? What are the Microwaves a metaphor, for? Exactly? I expect its rather a contemplative sad realization of something, no? Sounds rather bouncy and "happy", I think. Sounds like the muse hit you hard though, eh? Exciting. Keep working on those thoughts and that lyric - Simplify, simplify, simplify, this one might have legs, you never know. Innaresting . Keep 'em coming - never stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly campbell Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Good job.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capmaster Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Touching me deep in my soul. My son is eighteen years old. You couldn't have done it any better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly campbell Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I just listened to some of your other songs on sound cloud I like it and dig your style...How long you been doing this? Playing and singing that is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Thanks Kelly. Most of the stuff on my channel that is public is covers. I have been playing for decades - as a hack really. I only recently started trying to write my own stuff. Dan, I am not sure exactly what I am going for. There is some connection with speed. Speed of his growing up, the speed of the trip, us not wanting the moment to come, the speed of the microwaves. I don't know. I also am not sure of how to phrase the song. Woody Guthrie - like, where as you say the tempo may be to upbeat for the subject matter? How to slow it down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Sal- you are on to something here. The song evokes the feel of the road trip, the landscape going by, the sad but sweet burden of the journey. It made me think of Wichita Lineman and Nanci Griffith's Powerlines- songs that tie the apparatus of modern communication (following our highways and byways) with our need to be- and to remain- connected as distances (time and miles) begin to separate us from loved ones. Fighting against you here, I think, are the connotations and chunkiness of "Wall Street" and "microwave." Hard to think of anything more natural than a father using the language of his life's labors to express himself to his son, so I can hear/feel how this works. But as Dan perhaps alluded to, your line of work isn't as accessible to most folks as, say, that of the telephone or power line guys, and so I have trouble with the word choices here, even as I'm trying not to. The soul of this thing is intact, and it has clearly animated you. Now, your task is to keep sitting with it and see where it is going. I think the music and tempo is all there, just right (in, yes, that Woody Guthrie way), so keep on playing it until you go "THAT'S it!!!" Thanks for sharing your music, Sal- it matters. (Took my 18-year old to college last weekend...She and my oldest went to a boarding school for high school, but their leavings, too, have provoked songs from me. I get it...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Thanks Anne. I am going to rethink this one. The sentiment is there, but just maybe it is my own sentiment. Wall Street is hard to tie in to any sentiment of real meaning anyway I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-minor7 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 First - Haven't heard the song yet and will concentrate on the lyrics. To me the content is suspended between the close situation of Sals son leaving the nest and the many towers out there as symbols of the brave new world he is goin' to deal with and learn to handle. The family (the 'we') drives the young man into step 1 of the next game and on the journey the dotted line of towers gets double loaded - 1 - as the mentioned symbol of the unknown things/world to come. 2 - as an object of the last innocent family-game, , , of this chapter anyway. Is this poetic material - YES. The writer lets one impression bleed into another and manages to grasp the complexity of the situation by the twi-themed intrepretation of both the towers and the mission. Thus the film showed becomes a scenery of melancholy, inevitable developement, alienation and concern, plus of course the underlying pump of young dreams'n'expectations. A new volume is about to start - and from now on the Sal character is written down. Sad, , , but in the best sense of the word, , which means 'sad but right so not sad'. A thumbs up from here - time to put on the cans. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichG Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 I like it. I agree with those who think the Wall Street connection should be down played. What's important is the trip and the emotion around it. But that's just me, having made a similar trip several years ago. When we got to the college I had to explain to my wife that our son was staying, but she had to come home with me. The guitar sounds good,too. I like the chord progression. Rich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 Hey guys. I just tried another attempt. Dan I took your advice in trying to make it more subdued and less - happy. I fingerpicked it, and the chords are different. https://soundcloud.com/sal-from-chatham/wall-streets-microwaves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Yep I prefer that second take Sal...goes more to the heart of the matter.It's good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capmaster Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Love the new fingerpicked version in D flat even more. However, I think your strumming in G is fine, too. Your vocals are impressive both ways. To my senses your voice matched the song's mood in either tracks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-minor7 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Good thing you totally avoided any sentimental flavors in the melody - a wise move. I too prefer the second version and the guitar sounds real good - well it just does. Regarding the melody, I could need a few places where it tickled me more - you know as if you were passing zones on the road where the stomach went ooooohh. . Back to the text - One can feel it's real - like lifted out of pure realism. Still it would be good to add a couple of nuances - marble in an information or 2 extra. A trick : See the setting as a platform for a bit of this and a bit of that. When the scene of a tune is established, , , once that job is done, it's all yours. Don't hesitate to fill it up. Just my 7 Yen - as fan in the wing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duluthdan Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 As this song matures, its getting better and better. Feels different playing it and singing I'll bet. Very interesting process getting the raw take down, and then massaging it here and there. Keep playing it, be ready for the subtle changes - I think it will age well. I like it "less 'happy'", its genuine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Nice, Sal... I like both versions, but maybe this slower, lower version lets you connect the images more fluidly Very nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuestionMark Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I liked the song, it's sentiment, and it's fongerpickin'. Makes me miss my daughter who is away at college. Jazzman Jeff aka QM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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