Ever notice when life takes a turn for the rougher it just snowballs.

[Guest Farnsbarns]

I'm really struggling at the moment. My wife is very ill which is a big worry. Last week I received an email on my way to work telling me the company I work for has been taken over and that the 2 directors I reported to had left. The HR director of the new firm as good as told me my departments future is at risk. I went from being the golden boy of the operation to worthless over night. On top of that I'm struggling to deal with the inland revenue who have made an error from when I was self employed and they're aggressively chasing me for £5k I don't owe and don't have and it looks like I'm never going to get to the bottom of it. I'm tempted just to agree to pay it over time because I feel like I'm being taken over by all the stress and pressure.

 

Feeling profound anxiety every waking hour for weeks now and I just don't feel like I can keep putting 1 foot in front of the other.

 

It never rains, it pours.

[rct]

I'm sorry bro, I really am. The only thing worse than sudden ends to life are long sufferings. This kind of stress is bad, you don't need me to tell you to try and take it easy. Tomorrow our country celebrates our leaving your country to go somewhere that calls it an elevator not a lift and a truck not a lorry. We will down something bubbly and think of you. Take care and all the best to you. I hope Mrs gets well soon.

 

rct

[Digger]

My thoughts are with you Farns, take one day at a time as things have a way of sorting themselves out longer term.

[IanHenry]

Farns, you've got to keep your pecker up, don't let the buggers grind you down. Things always work out in the end, in a few years you'll look back on this and wonder why you got so stressed. I hope your Mrs's gets better as soon as possible.

 

 

Regards,

Ian

[LarryUK]

I know how it feels. I'm at my wits end with worry. There used to be help, but all of this has been shut down over the past few years. It's like they want us to suffer. I hope you and your wife pull through Farns.

['Scales]

It never rains, it pours.

 

hopefully followed by the brilliant rainbow our eyes can't see till we have been through the storm Farns, but try not to stress it on the job front cos that is one thing that surely won't be helpful to you or your loved ones, and things usually play out for the better in the end. Kind vibes to Mrs M and hope she is feeling very much better very soon.

 

Larry - same deal man, I always enjoy your commentaries and hope you are also soon emerging through to brighter days.

[Rabs]

Ahh man.. sorry to hear all that and I also hope your wife gets better soon..

 

As for the job, if you haven't already id advise to update your CV and get it out there as soon as possible.. If it turns out that you don't lose your job then you wont lose anything by doing that (and its a positive step to take).

 

And you never know whats around the corner... One door closes, another opens. It sounds corny but its true even if it doesn't feel like it right now.. Life can get better just as quickly as it gets bad.

 

And with the Inland Revenue, fight it man, they make it as hard as possible but its worth pursuing especially for that amount..

 

Good luck with it all...

[Namvet]

Hang tough. Bad news comes in threes and you just listed three. It's all uphill now. Hope the Mrs. gets to feeling better soon.

[Guest Farnsbarns]

I'm sorry bro, I really am. The only thing worse than sudden ends to life are long sufferings. This kind of stress is bad, you don't need me to tell you to try and take it easy. Tomorrow our country celebrates our leaving your country to go somewhere that calls it an elevator not a lift and a truck not a lorry. We will down something bubbly and think of you. Take care and all the best to you. I hope Mrs gets well soon.

 

rct

 

Thanks mate. Appreciate that.

 

My thoughts are with you Farns, take one day at a time as things have a way of sorting themselves out longer term.

 

Thanks as well Digger. I'm trying to keep positive. It's dangerous to let go and fall.

Farns, you've got to keep your pecker up, don't let the buggers grind you down. Things always work out in the end, in a few years you'll look back on this and wonder why you got so stressed. I hope your Mrs's gets better as soon as possible.

 

 

Regards,

Ian

 

Thanks Ian.

 

I know how it feels. I'm at my wits end with worry. There used to be help, but all of this has been shut down over the past few years. It's like they want us to suffer. I hope you and your wife pull through Farns.

 

Thanks Larry. I hope your problems pass as well.

 

hopefully followed by the brilliant rainbow our eyes can't see till we have been through the storm Farns, but try not to stress it on the job front cos that is one thing that surely won't be helpful to you or your loved ones, and things usually play out for the better in the end. Kind vibes to Mrs M and hope she is feeling very much better very soon.

 

Larry - same deal man, I always enjoy your commentaries and hope you are also soon emerging through to brighter days.

 

I don't know it that's a typo or if you kow my real name but she is Mrs M. Thanks S, that's really positive.

 

Ahh man.. sorry to hear all that and I also hope your wife gets better soon..

 

As for the job, if you haven't already id advise to update your CV and get it out there as soon as possible.. If it turns out that you don't lose your job then you wont lose anything by doing that (and its a positive step to take).

 

And you never know whats around the corner... One door closes, another opens. It sounds corny but its true even if it doesn't feel like it right now.. Life can get better just as quickly as it gets bad.

 

And with the Inland Revenue, fight it man, they make it as hard as possible but its worth pursuing especially for that amount..

 

Good luck with it all...

 

CV is out there mate but at the moment t I'm not sure I would interview well. Still, a positive step as you say.

[Guest Farnsbarns]

Hang tough. Bad news comes in threes and you just listed three. It's all uphill now. Hope the Mrs. gets to feeling better soon

 

That I can latch on to. These things do seem to come in 3s. Magic number I guess. Thanks NV. Good to have you back.

[Karloff]

I know what you're going through. simular situations. So much stress I sometimes struggle with sleep. Hang in there Farns. Things will get better. It's just life. i know thats not much comfort. weight of the world on your mind 24/7... i hope things turn around for you

[skilsaw]

Job stress is the worst. I had a wife and 2 babies at home when I got the bad news that my job was on the line. Stress got to me so bad I would throw up on the walk to work each morning. You don't need that.

 

Eventually it all worked out but it was a rough couple of years. It will work out for you too. Be sure of that.

[pippy]

Really very sorry to hear this, Farns.

 

If I can help in any way please send me a PM.

Best of luck and to your wife, too.

 

Pip.

[capmaster]

Feeling profound anxiety every waking hour for weeks now and I just don't feel like I can keep putting 1 foot in front of the other.

 

It never rains, it pours.

Sadly I have to confirm your words from here, with the difference that my former wife had filed for divorcement in early 2011 which was finalized in early October 2015. Fiscal authorities were about to enforce a payment of about 14k EUR in late September 2015. After the last court session I finally came out +/- 0 because my share of selling our former dwell has been closely that sum.

 

In 2005, my former employer was sold to a Swiss pharmaceutical group whose deceptive business acts were and assumably still are so bad that the Volkswagen scandal is a party compared to it. (I had posted in the past that US and Canadian authorities shut down three of their production sites due to hygiene issues. They had been closed for several years the time I was fired.) Of course, in the pharmaceutical industry it goes rather soon towards crime against humanity. I always rejected signing their compliance rules, seven years long until the end. It just was about whitewashing the company. Eleven years I had been working there while the founders had owned the company were followed by about seven years of a modern penal camp. In 2008 I finally recognized that it is virtually impossible to change anything from within, and so I became a whistleblower. Some weeks later the company was raided by the authorities, the boss was forced to resign, and lots of lawsuits followed. They may have found this out in an illegal manner or not, they got rid of me through some more illegal actions against me three respectively four years later and gave me a reference which effectively brought my employability to an end. My severance payment is long gone because selling the former dwell of my wife and me took nearly two years, I had to pay for the mortgage and my wife got nearly all of the revenue. So now I get social benefits.

 

It all afflicted me that much that I hardly survived an influenza this year. Two times pneumonia, a triple pine inflammation, and a myocarditis leaving only 30% of my heart muscle made me that weak that for some weeks I literally couldn't take one foot in front of the other. Nearly five months I didn't get a minute of sleep, but by web search I found out that a guy from Sweden survived that for nine years until they found and healed an infection causing this. Over three months of them I fought hard against death, and finally I gave in and said to myself, if this is the end, it's OK for me. At this moment my calmness and serenity obviously marked the beginning of betterment. Six weeks later I found some sleep again, and soon I managed to walk up one story on a stair. At the moment I'm able to make three, and I feel it slowly keeps on getting better.

 

Three of these months I didn't lay hand on any of my guitars or basses, not even for a moment. This happened to me the first time since I started playing. However, on a visit our bassist showed me an acoustic guitar he had bought new, and thus I got hand on another one's guitar. I wasn't able to fret anything reasonably though.

 

All the best wishes for the complete recovery of your wife, and to you for all of your personal and job-related matters.

[jdgm]

"Ever notice when life takes a turn for the rougher it just snowballs" - oh yes indeed. Happened to me in 1997.

I won't go into detail but it resulted in moving house and starting anew at age 43. That took a year but it wasn't until 2001 that I was able to get a secure and interesting job.

 

So I am sorry to hear about all this; yes things often do come in threes.

 

Ref the tax, it sounds like they have made a decision. There is inspection, collection and enforcement and once it's got to the last of those they just want what they have decided you owe.

The best course of action by far is to make an appointment to see someone in person, take a day off if you can and take all your documents with you so you can prove they're wrong.

Or - if you employ an accountant - get them on the case. If you have already done this then I don't know what else to suggest.

 

As to the job, there is nothing more stressful than possible redundancy hanging over your head. I went through all this last year, however my situation was very different to yours as I was prepared.

But our department was also suddenly declared to be useless (not true) and we were all made redundant or retired early. My former place of work probably won't be recognisable (and maybe not there at all) in a few years.

 

I hope your wife improves and recovers.

 

And I hope we can meet sometime and I will get you a beer. Hold me to it.

 

Best wishes.

[Tman]

Very sorry to hear that Farns. Anything I can do please ask. Best to your wife.

[SteveFord]

Hopefully things will all take a turn for the better - they usually do although you have to go through quite a bit of crap for it to happen.

[sparquelito]

I am so sorry, Farnsbarns.

 

I will send all my good karma and thoughts and prayers your way, and hope that

#1 Your wife gets better soon

and

#2 All the other financial and job bits sort themselves out to your betterment.

 

I myself have been struggling with a wife who is working so hard to get thru the program of re-hab off of prescription pain medications and to live a better life.

And of course, all the usual job shiit.

 

Some perspective though;

Last week I was grumbling as I readied myself to leave the hangar, and head out into the torrential rain.

It was pouring rain, and no sign of letting up for many hours.

 

Carolyn, a wonderful lady in my office, asked what was the worry with me.

 

"Ah, shoot. You know, my brother is coming up today, and we are going out to look at houses for him and his girlfriend to rent. He is hiring on locally now, and it's a big belly full of stress for them, and for me too. I want to help them out, and now it's raining like a Biblical flood out there." I got my rain jacket and my umbrella situated.

"We are scheduled to go look at three or four houses today, and it's raining like the dickens."

 

Carolyn touched my arm, and said, "You know, you really need to be thankful for this rain."

 

That's all she said. "You really need to be thankful for this rain."

 

I knew that Carolyn was a very spiritual and religious lady, and she had also recently suffered the loss of her brother, and then a son-in-law, and then finally (two weeks ago), the passing of her beloved father.

This woman had been thru the wringer, and had persevered through the death of three close family members!

And here she was, comforting me through my distress over having to drive around in some silly rain.

I felt like a real jackass.

 

And so now, I lowered my head, and waited to receive her good and proper Christian advice regarding being thankful for the rain.

I felt certain that Carolyn was going to lay some serious Jesus on me, and make me feel even more like a complaining asshole than I already was.

 

I finally asked, "Grateful? Why grateful for the rain?"

 

She spoke. "Because when you go to look at properties where your brother might live, you get to see how the water flows thru the neighborhood at its rainiest and it's worst. And you can figure out which properties will regularly flood in heavy periods of rain, because you want to avoid them. Today it the perfect day to go look at the rental houses!"

 

I was dumbfounded.

I didn't get a theological scolding, I got some good and proper common-sense advice.

And from a lady who had held her head up thru much worse than I was feeling sorry about.

 

 

Anyway.

I would like to offer you my rain and flood advice now, Farnsbarns;

 

Hold that head up, and be thankful for the rain, and be thankful for every day you have with your wife.

The money and all that other rubbish will work out in the end.

You have value to the company, and everybody who works there knows that.

You will be okay, mate.

 

That is my prayer, and my best wish for you.

:)

[Digger]

To all of you here that are doing things hard, you have my ernest best wishes and sometimes I wish I was religious so I could pray for folks like you.

 

However I'm, not so concern and wishes are the best I can offer.

[deeman]

I'm sorry to hear man, my company is shuffling in administration and I often am kept up worrying. I hope all the best and will keep you in my prayers.

[glp2012]

Going from "...the golden boy of the operation to worthless over night." I've been there too. It's a tough spot to be in and I feel for you. Just remember, you really are the golden boy. It's just that these new guys are not seeing your value. Don't take it personally because it is not you. I know, Ive been there and you feel worthless. Move on, if you can. When it happened to me, I applied for and got a new job. My new boss doesn't think I'm worthless...it can happen to you too. Good luck.

 

Oh, and if you really need help, you can come over and hang out with a fellow "worthless over night." person.

[rct]

Going from "...the golden boy of the operation to worthless over night." I've been there too. It's a tough spot to be in and I feel for you. Just remember, you really are the golden boy. It's just that these new guys are not seeing your value. Don't take it personally because it is not you. I know, Ive been there and you feel worthless. Move on, if you can. When it happened to me, I applied for and got a new job. My new boss doesn't think I'm worthless...it can happen to you too. Good luck.

 

Oh, and if you really need help, you can come over and hang out with a fellow "worthless over night." person.

 

My worthlessness has been well demonstrated over thirty four years of being never the golden boy. In two years and 7 months I won't give a fukk about a single one of any of them ever if I live to waltz out the door into retirement at the freakshow Villages down in Florida. Or somewhere.

 

Some things matter, work isn't one of them.

 

rct

[quapman]

Sorry to hear this Farns.

Work is just work.

I'm pulling for your wife. I hope she makes a speedy recovery.

Everything else is just "stuff".

It's the people in your life that matter. Nothing else.

 

Wishing you and your wife all the best!

[L8_4thesh0w]

Sorry to hear about your wife, Farns. I know you've had your own health concerns to deal with. With the added revenue problem and job worries you've certainly got a lot on your plate right now.

 

Above all I'm wishing for the quick and complete recovery of your wife and for relief from the stress you're enduring. The money problem is no small thing but hopefully it can be resolved in your favor with a modicum of effort.

 

As far as the job situation goes, my perception is that you have what some would refer to as "mad skills." I'm sincerely hoping you'll land on your feet and hit the ground running.

 

Take care of your lady. For what it's worth, you'll both be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Regards,

Ed

[ksdaddy]

This woman had been thru the wringer, and had persevered through the death of three close family members!

And here she was, comforting me through my distress over having to drive around in some silly rain.

I felt like a real jackass.

 

It's all relative. Doesn't matter how bad we think we have it (short OR long term), someone else always has it worse. On one hand we should then be thankful we're not as bad off as them; on the other hand...just because someone else is worse off doesn't (and shouldn't) invalidate our feelings.

 

You guys know 2011 was bad for me. I won't rehash it. All anyone can do is take it one day, one hour, or one minute at a time. And I guess that's my only bit of unsolicited advice for farnsbarns.