flatbaroque Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Finally wrote something I'm willing to share.Been a while.Could do with a tweak or two, could scan better here and there...but I think it's ok.Raw recording but hot off the press. I was mucking around in open G and came up with a nice sliding chord thing that started it off. Cheers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NvK2r4Br7E&feature=youtu.be She left her hometown, Kept her hometown blues Sat deep in her eyes Best Western motel On Saturday night Ceiling fan can hypnotize Kiss in the steeple From Johnny B Bad The chivalrous rescue From Sir Galahad Pony tail love From pages ago Ghosts are restless tonight She’s out on the road Sellin’ what people don’t need Is your coverage all right? Guess it’s a living Makin’ stones bleed It’s hard to keep up the fight Pennywise and pennydumb She played both sides of the coin Ghosts are stretching their legs tonight There’s dashing Juan come into sight He was the mechanic With the high Cuban heels Who danced the flamenco Between changing her wheels They even spoke once about Having a kid Then out of the blue he went back to Madrid Best Western Motel Saturday night She turns on the TV, turns down the light She’ll watch it again The African Queen And hopes that old boat Steams through her dream Her view’s from the cheap seats But it’s still pretty clear If you’re not being loved You might just disappear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avery Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Man, that is a SAD song. But I love it. Storytelling in a song. Great singing and playing too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwalker201 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 FB, that was great. Very nice lyrics and playing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
58 Relic Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Liked that a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Indeed that is a sad song, but that is just the way I like them! I think your lyrics have great imagery that fit the mood of the song extremely well. To me the recording sounds a little thin. I hope you intend to record it again in a different environment. Your song is great and deserves to be heard at its best! Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BluesKing777 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Great stuff! Do we assume the hotel is the bottom budget kind that we don't want to get sued for saying it is the 'Pits'? I think I have stayed in some on the way to Queensland, still scratching! More verses to come? Harp? Fine like it is! BluesKing777. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Real cool song, John. I love the analogies in it. "Pony tail love from pages ago. Ghosts are restless tonight." Those two lines speak volumes. Numerous good lines in here. You painted a picture with words and wrote a song with a brush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EuroAussie Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 I enjoyed that FB, interestingly I rarely listen to lyrics (Morrissey, Nick Cave and PJ Harvey exceptions), its melody and mood that usually sucks me in. Which in this case I enjoyed both. I can tell its a sad story without knowing the lyrics and the playing and vocals take me on a joureny - job done in my book. Really good example how to use a simple progression or melody but infuse it with plenty of feeling and dynamics in delivery, both vocal and guitar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BirdMan81 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Great song! Love the title (reminds me a of Dylan type of title)...I here Dylan and major Springteen influence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 Thanks guys.Appreciate you taking the time to comment. I had a few more characters in this at one stage but it was getting to be more like a mini-series than a song...so they got the chop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 FB, that song is beautiful, touching, and wonderful. It's half Springsteen and half Lyle Lovett. I have about a hundred chord progressions and arrangements waiting for words. But damn I can t write a story like that. I truly loved this. Well effing done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pappy Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Thank you for that moving picture you painted with your playing and voice.Echoing above,very Dillonesque,loved the entire performance. Thanks. Pappy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BirdMan81 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Just listened to this for the third time today...each time a like it more and more...great melody, awesome lyrics, there is some pain in that voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rambler Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Nice number, FB. Clever wordplay. And I like the Spanish (G-tuning) patterns you found. It works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 This is superb, sir- I like everything about it. You made pictures with words and then gave me just enough music in between to let them sink in. Gonna have me a whole bunch of listens...👍🏻 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 John, I'm glad you dropped whatever other characters were in an earlier form of the song. They likely would have cluttered things up. As it is, this song is about "her" and it works very well. Nice tale. One that the listener can identify with on one level or another. You allow the listener to "fill in the blanks." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 You are to lyric writing what blues King is to acoustic blues Neither of you should be doing a normal job . But hats off to you for this , best one you've done in a while . Inspired writing . Does it come to you as is , or do you use any methods to get started ? Fabulous baroque Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 Thanks again folks for the interest and the kind words. I'm certainly no "natural" when it comes to songwriting.It's a hard slog and mostly I don't get things finished as I'd like - a lot started that go nowhere. But sometimes the planets align and I can get something together. As far as lyrics go I do get phrases come to me out of nowhere at times.In this song "She left her hometown, kept her hometown blues" and "pennywise and pennydumb" were both phrases I've had kicking around for a while wanting to get into a song.I'm not sure where either came from.I read a lot..maybe that helps. Generally a phrase or two is all I have lyric wise before trying to find a melody.Melody starts with a chord progression.Then I sing nonsense words over the chords trying to establish a melody. This can sometimes throw up a useful lyric...that just seems to happen without thinking. At this stage with a melody established and a few lyrics I start to think more about the words and story.I like words that work both in a lyrical story sense but also in a song rhythm sense between themselves.Some words just sound good together. I've learned not to be too precious about any lyric.Something that seems great at some stage of a song's development may not fit later.So you have to be prepared to chop stuff out. Like Larry said sometimes less is more. Anyway thanks again..and don't give up on the writing anyone - you never know when it will come together. Hope that wasn't too boring but I know I'm interested in how people get things together musically, so I thought some may be curious....BBG was curious. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I am curious Rather frustratingly it seems that we are similar , in that a phrase will pop up and I think that'll be good in a song .... Other times I'm noodling and get a little chord pattern and think that might go somewhere ..:: There the similarity ends as it doesn't seem to come together . Mind you , I don't devote a lot of time and it can be 7 days before I pick up a guitar . I don't write anything down , which is another fault . I'm not trying hard enough . Or , maybe it's just not in me .... I'll keep waiting , in the mean time it's great to hear Anne and the others and yourself FB who genuinely , genuinely write great stuff. I can easily write a song I a half hour if I'm not worried about content and some degree of intelligence in it . Which yours has in spoonfuls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 You are to lyric writing what blues King is to acoustic blues Neither of you should be doing a normal job . Indeed. I agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidblast Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 That's great song John, I always enjoy your posts. This is no exception. Thanks for posting that. Like it a lot. I have the same problem too, a song idea either comes out in it's entirety in 10 / 15 minutes, or it doesn't usually survive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 As far as lyrics go I do get phrases come to me out of nowhere at times.In this song "She left her hometown, kept her hometown blues" and "pennywise and pennydumb" were both phrases I've had kicking around for a while wanting to get into a song.I'm not sure where either came from.I read a lot..maybe that helps. Generally a phrase or two is all I have lyric wise before trying to find a melody.Melody starts with a chord progression.Then I sing nonsense words over the chords trying to establish a melody. This can sometimes throw up a useful lyric...that just seems to happen without thinking. At this stage with a melody established and a few lyrics I start to think more about the words and story.I like words that work both in a lyrical story sense but also in a song rhythm sense between themselves.Some words just sound good together. I've learned not to be too precious about any lyric.Something that seems great at some stage of a song's development may not fit later.So you have to be prepared to chop stuff out. Like Larry said sometimes less is more. Anyway thanks again..and don't give up on the writing anyone - you never know when it will come together. Hope that wasn't too boring but I know I'm interested in how people get things together musically, so I thought some may be curious....BBG was curious. Cheers I recognize this process completely--it is the way I "write," too--there is a big "without thinking" part to it. Kind of a conscious 'not thinking,' though...when something is served up, you gingerly follow it. And as you said, you have to be willing to let something fall away if, after first blush, it's not right. It's more like "listening" than "writing." Somewhere, some few words may suggest a melody, or some chord progression may suggest a lyric and, once you hear that they are connected and a little interesting, you can start to think about it--get a little more conscious, even--try to let more words and musical lines explore what the initial connection was about. This really is a fine song, John...ya did real good, I think. And I appreciated the exposition--I sure couldn't have said it better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EuroAussie Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 This is really to good to hear FB, important to break it down to pieces ... maybe go away for a while, come back. Thanks for sharing your approach, im going to try your way now that i can finally string a vocal melody ... sort of. ps: I prefer Flatbaroque to John, no offence. ;-) Thanks again folks for the interest and the kind words. I'm certainly no "natural" when it comes to songwriting.It's a hard slog and mostly I don't get things finished as I'd like - a lot started that go nowhere. But sometimes the planets align and I can get something together. As far as lyrics go I do get phrases come to me out of nowhere at times.In this song "She left her hometown, kept her hometown blues" and "pennywise and pennydumb" were both phrases I've had kicking around for a while wanting to get into a song.I'm not sure where either came from.I read a lot..maybe that helps. Generally a phrase or two is all I have lyric wise before trying to find a melody.Melody starts with a chord progression.Then I sing nonsense words over the chords trying to establish a melody. This can sometimes throw up a useful lyric...that just seems to happen without thinking. At this stage with a melody established and a few lyrics I start to think more about the words and story.I like words that work both in a lyrical story sense but also in a song rhythm sense between themselves.Some words just sound good together. I've learned not to be too precious about any lyric.Something that seems great at some stage of a song's development may not fit later.So you have to be prepared to chop stuff out. Like Larry said sometimes less is more. Anyway thanks again..and don't give up on the writing anyone - you never know when it will come together. Hope that wasn't too boring but I know I'm interested in how people get things together musically, so I thought some may be curious....BBG was curious. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Very interesting to hear about how you bring your ideas to life in songs. I would not describe myself as a songwriter quite yet. I am too inexperienced with only eight songs complete. While I'm not a songwriter, I do write songs My experience is that I need an idea in order to start writing. For most of my songs I have had the lyrics about 75% in place and the melody pretty clear in my head, before sitting down with the guitar and trying to figure out chords and licks. My one exception from the above is my latest song that just kind of happened while sitting with the guitar playing around. I am extremely intrigued by this whole process. One moment there is nothing, and a short while later, suddenly there is a song. It was not conscious, it just happened. Fascinating how the human brain works and can be triggered and influenced by factors unknown to us. Do you experienced writers ever consider your songs finished? I tend to go back to mine and change things as I learn more and I do want them recorded so I know what I have (warts and all). Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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