MorrisrownSal Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Please give me your criticism. Things you might change? Thoughts? I threw this down this morning. I wrote the words three days ago... fitted it to some "troubadourish chords" this morning. I didnt put any bass or mando or percussion in it yet. I wanted you to hear the feel... just with a little shaky thing for effect. And a poor idea for harmony (which is off in parts) The song is called Sundown Troubadour... about errrr... an older guy singing in bars... and connecting with a younger patron. I told you guys its hard to write about the blues and such when I am pretty damn lucky. SO I tried writing about a little fantasy I guess.... https://soundcloud.com/sal-from-chatham/sundown-troubadour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Now, THAT'S what I'm talking about! Bravo, Sal- this works on all levels for me. The lyrics and melody kept me tuned in and interested the whole way through, you GD sundown troubador, you. Well done--you've got this in spades, and we'll all say we knew you when. 👍🏻👍🏻 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Thanks Anne! You definitely made me think I need to branch out from covers - so thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Very solid work Sal.Melody is really enjoyable...memorable.I don't think there is much tinkering needed with the words either.Story is kind of gentle and doesn't need over dramatisation.Lyrics as is are working. I like the inner rhymes.."apprehension , pretension" etc combined with that deft bit of melody change. edit...morning glory (besides the plant name)has a couple of salacious slang meanings in Oz.Not sure about you guys.Even if it does there too it just adds a level of humor to the words - which indeed you may have intended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bayoubengal1954 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Please give me your criticism. Things you might change? Thoughts? I threw this down this morning. I wrote the words three days ago... fitted it to some "troubadourish chords" this morning. I didnt put any bass or mando or percussion in it yet. I wanted you to hear the feel... just with a little shaky thing for effect. And a poor idea for harmony (which is off in parts) The song is called Sundown Troubadour... about errrr... an older guy singing in bars... and connecting with a younger patron. I told you guys its hard to write about the blues and such when I am pretty damn lucky. SO I tried writing about a little fantasy I guess.... https://soundcloud.com/sal-from-chatham/sundown-troubadour Dig it! The transition to the minor key on the chorus and at the end gives it a Beatlesque quality to me, which is a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars68 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 That's great, Sal. Don't change a thing. I'lll be 50 a year from now and can certainly relate to the story. Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwalker201 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Dang good song Sal. I love the title and the lyrics. Great job my friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buc McMaster Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Good work, Sal, good work. While covering tunes is a noble pursuit, it is the original compositions that we have to thank for the opportunity to take a shot at them. Bravo for stepping up, pen in hand! And the fantasy train of thought is a very good one.........done a few of those myself. Examine the situation from as many angles as you can and describe what's happening.........the imagination is a wonderful thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duluthdan Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Out-Flipp[ing- Standing. Don't change a thing. Gawd this was fun to listen to. [thumbup] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Thanks guys. Still a rough sketch... I have to make sure I don't feel like a dope singing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Man I love it. And the harmonies. Having gigged since I was 12 years old, I was a frontman lead guitarist at age 17 ( there was no law in the Wild West in the 70's ) I had the OPPOSITE problem..... And I never heard the word Cougar back in those days either. I thought it was great Sal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Man I love it. And the harmonies. Having gigged since I was 12 years old, I was a frontman lead guitarist at age 17 ( there was no law in the Wild West in the 70's ) I had the OPPOSITE problem..... And I never heard the word Cougar back in those days either. I thought it was great Sal. Not sure I want to hear the song murph 😄 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cougar Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Please give me your criticism. Things you might change? That's going to be fun to fill in with other tracks. I feel like playing along on keys while I'm listening.... The harmony addition at 1:07 is excellent. But at 1:15, eh, hard to say, I might leave it out there, it's a bit much, add mando or something else there.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichG Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 That was great Sal, no kidding. Has a kind of country feel in the beginning but the bridge reminds me of early sixties/late fifties r&r. Or Beatles as someone else said. That's really a keeper. Somebody's going to steal that one. Better copyright it. Rich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Thanks forum friends. I got some great advice front and back channel, and I love the folks in this forum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Sounds darn good! And a fine performance, too. It might help word guys like myself to post the lyrics so we can read them, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidblast Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Nice tune Sal. I love hearing what you guys come up with! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-minor7 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 This isn't the sound of a beginner - always had great affection and respect for personal stuff. Sundown Troubadour ain't no exception ^ keep 'em comin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EuroAussie Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 That was quality Sal. The melody is lovelly, but the song develops and keeps us guessing without ever getting off the road. And what i like the most about it was that it was very much 'you'. Your name was written all over it in terms of style and tone, and thats a great thing. When you not only can write an original but also in a personally distinct way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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