dhanners623 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 To ring in April, here's a new tune, "Ghosts of This Town." One of those songs that only a J-35 can come up with.... That said, if I used this song at Songwriting U, they would no doubt flunk me because the last two lines of the last verse have FOUR p-words in them. That's a lot of spitting on the microphone, but the words fit so I said to hell with it and stuck them in. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9mMy3NIWdFQ And here are the lyrics: Ghosts of This Town © 2017 by David Hanners Landscape is bleak, prairie wind leaves you raw Winter makes it worse, snow on stubble straw They say we'll make it through, just got to buckle down But there's only full employment for the ghosts of this town Ghosts of this town, beholden and betrayed They'll always find some way to keep us afraid All we know will one day come unwound On that day we'll bury it with the ghosts of this town Yeah, I get by just like you said I will But the future stares me down like Abe on a five-dollar bill Time heals all wounds I have always found Except the cuts and bruises from the ghosts of this town (chorus) I'm not what I used to be, for better or worse Can't count my blessings on account of this curse You don't need to tell me I let you down I'm reminded every day by the ghosts of this town Raised her glass as if to make a toast Whiskey betrays you when you need it most She said, "I wanna go where life's a verb, not a noun Can no longer do the bidding of the ghosts of this town" I couldn't break the news, that die's already cast Can't change the future like you won't change the past As I paused to come up with something more profound She proved my point by leaving with the ghosts of this town (chorus) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly campbell Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Well Done I liked it. The heck with the "songwriting U" I like the lyrics the way they are. Thanks for sharing it. The J35 sounds good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisrownSal Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Hey man. I love this. The guitar is throaty and growls. I like the ghosts of this town imagery. It's just a great song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buc McMaster Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Another good 'un, David! Back off the camera a bit so we can see all that hammer-on stuff you're doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted April 2, 2017 Author Share Posted April 2, 2017 Another good 'un, David! Back off the camera a bit so we can see all that hammer-on stuff you're doing. Thanks for the kind words. I'll try backing off next time. My fingerings will confuse people, though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duluthdan Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 I must have messed something up - I cannot see the link to the song - matter of fact, its been happening for a few days now. dhanners song does not "show-up" I get the message, and the lyrics. but also a vast blank space of white ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelly campbell Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Another good 'un, David! Back off the camera a bit so we can see all that hammer-on stuff you're doing. Good call Buc, I too was thinking that I would like to see what he is doing there while watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Paul Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 That's some good writing there, Mr. Hanners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Really a well-written tune, David. I sincerely like it and the way it's delivered. Sweet performance........One suggestion, and you can just give it to the ghosts if you like.........there's one line that to me doesn't fit with the attitude, atmosphere, tone, vernacular of the song-----She said, "I wanna go where life's a verb, not a noun"---that line just doesn't sound real to me. Maybe a philosopher would say it, but not a gal ready to haul butt and leave. It comes across to me as just something to rhyme with "town" in the next line..........Anyway, that's just my amateur opinion. Beyond that, it's a very strong tune. Good stuff. I enjoy your writing and performances. :-({|= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted April 2, 2017 Author Share Posted April 2, 2017 Really a well-written tune, David. I sincerely like it and the way it's delivered. Sweet performance........One suggestion, and you can just give it to the ghosts if you like.........there's one line that to me doesn't fit with the attitude, atmosphere, tone, vernacular of the song-----She said, "I wanna go where life's a verb, not a noun"---that line just doesn't sound real to me. Maybe a philosopher would say it, but not a gal ready to haul butt and leave. It comes across to me as just something to rhyme with "town" in the next line..........Anyway, that's just my amateur opinion. Beyond that, it's a very strong tune. Good stuff. I enjoy your writing and performances. :-({|= I had the same reservations about the line. It is very important to me to write in a character's voice; if you're doing a song about an oilfield roughneck, it is probably best to not have him talking about Freud vs. Jung. Not that a roughneck can't talk about such things, but it does strain credulity. I spend a good deal of time looking up local/regional slang and vernacular online. That said, there's nothing telling us the woman isn't educated and couldn't say such a thing. But you have a point and if a listener is bugged about that line, it is probably something I should give some more thought to. One possible fix is to have the protagonist paraphrase her. Maybe something on the order of ...She said she wanted to go where life's a verb, not a noun She was tired of doing the bidding of the ghosts of this town The verb/noun thing is important to me, not just because of the rhyme but because it underscores one of the issues in the song, i.e., people who want to do something, not just exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneS Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Another good one... thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldCowboy Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Thank you for yet another good'n. I really enjoy your writing and performance. And yes, the noun/verb idea is very strong, yet may well take some finesse to work properly - I expect you'll find a way to make it happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Always enjoy your lyrics Mr D.And your performance makes it a good listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted April 5, 2017 Author Share Posted April 5, 2017 Thanks for all the kind comments. They are appreciated. After test-driving the song a few dozen times in my living room, I came to the conclusion something was "off." It's hard to describe, but you songwriters know what I'm talking about. You create something and think you're done, then you realize there's something in the song that's not working or something needs to be added, cut or rearranged. In this case, I concluded it needed something cut and something rearranged. The story, such as it was, wasn't making too much sense. It was supposed to make at least a little sense. So back to the drawing board, and here's the new (and, hopefully, improved) version. I'm giving some thought to changing the second line of the second verse to "Whiskey and lovers betray you when you need them most" (thoughts?) but otherwise, this may be the final version. Maybe tomorrow I'll record a video and heed Buc's advice and sit back from the camera.... Ghosts of This Town © 2017 by David Hanners Landscape is bleak, prairie wind leaves you raw Winter makes it worse, snow on stubble straw They say we'll make it through, just got to buckle down But there's only full employment for the ghosts of this town (chorus) Ghosts of this town, beholden and betrayed They'll always find some way to keep us afraid All we know will one day come unwound On that day we'll bury it with the ghosts of this town Raised her glass as if to make a toast Whiskey betrays you when you need it most Said she had to go where life's a verb, not a noun Could no longer do the bidding of the ghosts of this town (chorus) (bridge) I'm not what I used to be, for better or worse Can't count my blessings on account of this curse No need to tell me I let you down I'm reminded every day by the ghosts of this town Yeah, I get by just like you said I will But the future stares me down like Abe on a five-dollar bill Time heals all wounds I have always found Except the cuts and bruises from the ghosts of this town (chorus) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 Here's the new version, fingerings and all. The sound is iffy -- I'm just using the iPad's mic -- but you get the idea. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FkasFLo1Ze4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Nice job My brain melts when I see the upside down guitar and what you must've gone through to learn , I'm assuming there's no 'play guitar upside down' text books I learnt before internet and all the gifts that are available now , but geez at lest if I saw someone playing I could watch and learn / steal things Sal and flatbaroque - take note of the framing of the video. You can see the top of his head and everything !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatbaroque Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I like to hide my bald spot.consider it a video combover bbg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 I like to hide my bald spot.consider it a video combover bbg! 😄😄 You wanna get ahead get ahat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhanners623 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 Nice job My brain melts when I see the upside down guitar and what you must've gone through to learn , I'm assuming there's no 'play guitar upside down' text books I learnt before internet and all the gifts that are available now , but geez at lest if I saw someone playing I could watch and learn / steal things Sal and flatbaroque - take note of the framing of the video. You can see the top of his head and everything !! Thanks for the kind words. I taught myself to play on my late brother's Stella when he went off to the Air Force and left it behind. It didn't have a pickguard, so I had no idea I was holding it upside down. I got a book from the library on "The Glen Campbell Guitar Method" or something like that, and it had chord diagrams in it; I just stuck my fingers where the black dots were. A couple of months later, when I started playing with other people, I realized, "Oops. Somebody's holding the guitar wrong." By then, though, I figured the guitar didn't care so I kept on. The only real drawback (or at least the thing I wish I could do that I can't) is play with a thumb pick. I would love to do some of that great Lester Flatt rhythm boom-chuck work with a thumb pick. I can hold my own on rhythm, but I'm using a Saga Golden Gate extra-heavy pick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 You're obviously a determined fella. I don't want to risk sounding like you've some sort of handicap , but I do admire the tenacity it must've took to learn And yeah maybe you'll not be able to do thumbpicks , but you can always rest assured that you'll have a unique sound ! Thinking about my favourite artists they pretty much all have stayed away from rule books and 'correct' ways to play guitar Power to your elbow sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buc McMaster Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Good stuff, David! Well written lyric. The "whiskey and lovers" line might be a good sub to use when performing it live, just for a change-up, but the way it is is fine. And yeah - you upside down backward strumming son of a gun! It works! My first experience with a guitar was on a Stella that belonged to my younger brother just before I left home for the USAF..........quinkydink, huh. Sal and flatbaroque - take note of the framing of the video. You can see the top of his head and everything !! What he said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldCowboy Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Fascinating discussion about learning on your own - I started on the same path, but someone intervened and suggested I change. It was early enough that I could still manage to do that. As far as thumbpicks go, try as I will, they're all just too damn small! Your song's progressing nicely☺ The verb/noun business still bothers me, though😒 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Fascinating discussion about learning on your own - I started on the same path, but someone intervened and suggested I change. It was early enough that I could still manage to do that. As far as thumbpicks go, try as I will, they're all just too damn small! Your song's progressing nicely☺ The verb/noun business still bothers me, though😒 Once a teacher always a teacher eh ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Fascinating discussion about learning on your own - I started on the same path, but someone intervened and suggested I change. It was early enough that I could still manage to do that. As far as thumbpicks go, try as I will, they're all just too damn small! Your song's progressing nicely☺ The verb/noun business still bothers me, though😒 Once a teacher always a teacher eh ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldCowboy Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Once a teacher always a teacher eh ? It's a kind of personal hell from which there is no apparent escape😖😈 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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