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First draft of a new one....


dhanners623

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I like it! Can you easily post the lyrics?

 

Lars

 

Sure thing....

 

Refugee

© 2017 by David Hanners

 

Home is rubble and debris

Nightmares when I sleep

Demagogues argue right and wrong

Can’t reason with a barrel bomb

Give me your masses who yearn to breathe free

Give me your refugee

 

First casualty of war is truth

Boy on the beach knew that’s not true

Photo worth a thousand words

What’s a Syrian child worth?

Give me your masses who yearn to breathe free

Give me your refugee

 

 

Harbor, foreign coast

Woman with a torch, flames of gold

Beacon for the world to see

Welcomed the refugee

Times have hardened hearts of men

So we wait again

Our skin is wrong, we are poor

Woman in the harbor shut the door

Give me your masses who yearn to breathe free

Give me your refugee

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I have to say that I reckon you’ve got the perfect guitar for your style of both playing and writing

 

Remove the word ‘syrian’ and the song would take on a much wider context

I’m not disagreeing with your point of view on Syria or saying I agree

Let’s not starts that

But from a purely songwriting point of view that word cements what your point Is and great songs are a little more vague , let the listener place it in their own context

 

 

Apart from that , great job sir 👍

 

Edit : or keep it in there , it’s your song man !

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Thanks for the lyrics. I really like the words. It is a great set of lyrics. However, I agree with BBG about removing the word Syrian. I think the bit about the photo and the boy on the beach should be an obvious enough reference, placing the song in time, for those who listen carefully. For those missing the reference, it keeps the song more general, a win-win... [biggrin]

 

Great stuff, as far as my taste! Thanks for posting.

Lars

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I have to say that I reckon you’ve got the perfect guitar for your style of both playing and writing

 

Remove the word ‘syrian’ and the song would take on a much wider context

I’m not disagreeing with your point of view on Syria or saying I agree

Let’s not starts that

But from a purely songwriting point of view that word cements what your point Is and great songs are a little more vague , let the listener place it in their own context

 

 

Apart from that , great job sir

 

Edit : or keep it in there , it’s your song man !

 

Thanks for the comments. I wrestled with the word "Syrian." Your point is correct in that if I leave it out, it gives the song a wider reach. I wound up sticking it in there because it does seem there is a disparity in how the world values a child's life, even in the Arab world, where I currently live and perform. I may revisit the decision.

 

I originally had the chorus saying, "Give me your huddled masses yearning to breathe free...." but found the additional words made it hard to sing; just too many syllables. However, as I refine my phrasing and get more comfortable with it, I find I can stick those words back in to more accurately reflect the Emma Lazarus poem.

 

Again, thanks for the feedback.

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Actually, I went and read the Lazarus poem again (it's been awhile) and decided to lift some phrases from it, so I have rewritten the third verse:

 

Sunset gates of a foreign shore

A mighty woman with a torch

Beacon for the world to see

Welcomed the refugee

Wretched refuse come again

But time has hardened hearts of men

Our skin is wrong, we are poor

Mother of Exiles shut the door

Give me your huddled masses yearning to breathe free

Give me your refugee

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