Jump to content
Gibson Brands Forums

My new worst-ever gig....


dhanners623

Recommended Posts

We had a thread awhile back about our worst gigs. I now have a new one. It's a doozy. The gig lasted one song.

 

A couple of guys I know here in Kuwait have a booking agency and put out a call for acts to fill sets for a 10-day music "festival" at Kuwait's fanciest mall, 360 Mall. These guys have booked me for other shows and things always went well. They booked me for a 2-hour set on the opening day and another 2-hour set a couple of days later. The pay was pretty nice -- KD100 ($330) per set. In an odd twist, they said that mall management wanted to see every act's set lists in advance, and we had to sign a government declaration promising not to defame Kuwait or use profanity in our performance. Since I do about 95 percent my own stuff (and the bookers knew that) I figured, "No problem with the set list." Same with the government form.

 

I came up with a family-friendly set suitable for all ages. It's a ritzy mall, after all, and Rule 1 is "Know the Room." On the day of the first show, I packed my J-35 and my gear and got to the mall in plenty of time. There was a solo act on before me, a guy playing electric guitar with various effects, sang a little, crowd liked him yadda yadda yadda.

 

Then it was my turn. I set up quickly, the sound gets dialed in and people seem ready to listen. I do my first song and it goes over pretty well. Folks are applauding and as I get ready to launch into my second song, one of the guys with the booking agency motions me over to the side of the stage. He's pretty insistent so I go over to see what he wants.

 

"We've had a complaint from mall management about the vocals," he said.

 

Huh? My first song had absolutely zero objectionable content. "Are the vocals too loud?" I asked. "Just turn them down."

 

"No. The mall is saying there can't be any vocals. So just do your songs without singing."

 

You can imagine the look on my face. Or maybe you can't since I doubt I have ever made that face before. I told him that I'm not an instrumental act, and two hours of me playing rhythm guitar is going to get real old very quickly. I also said my songs were largely about the lyrics and stories. Without the lyrics, there's no use playing the music.

 

I also reminded him that a) they knew I sang when they booked me and B) the guy before me sang and c) a bunch of the other acts they'd booked were also singers. He agreed it was all true, and said he'd call the mall management back and discuss it with them. So I went back up to the mic and told people we had a technical issue to resolve and would be back as soon as we could.

 

The booking guy gets on the phone with somebody, probably mall management. About 15 minutes later, he comes back and says the mall doesn't want vocals. Something about the mall not being sure if it had the proper government permit. (In Kuwait, a venue hosting music must get a permit from the government for each individual music performance. Welcome to my world. That said, the story was B.S., as there is only one type of permit for a "music concert" in Kuwait. They either had a permit or they didn't.)

 

I tell the booking guy, again, that I'm not an instrumental act, but he's begging me to go on playing because he has two hours to fill and doesn't want to look bad in front of the mall management. Feeling sorry for him (don't ask me why...) I told him I'd do five songs and then I was done. So I played rhythm guitar for five songs, looked and felt stupid, packed up, collected my money and left. I told him to let me know if they got it sorted out by my scheduled set a couple of days later. Otherwise, I was cancelling. It never got sorted out. A couple of other acts also bowed out, but most of the booked acts who always do vocals just decided to strum their guitars or play keyboards for a couple of hours and take the money.

 

Cherish your opportunities to play -- and sing! -- without having to get a government permit....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What was the outcome if you sang ?

A fine for the hotel ?

 

The mall would've had the sound guy turn off my vocal channel, so I'd be singing into a dead mic.

 

Actually, at one point, the booking guy suggested we do that as a way to fill out he rest of the set. My reply was something along the lines of, "That would look really stupid." It would also confuse the audience.

 

When the bookers sent out a WhatsApp message to the acts later in the day informing them of the no-vocals rule, one of the other musicians replied (and this is a direct quote), "What's funny is that the real message and weight is carried in the melodies and notes, not lyrics."

 

That's the level of cluelessness I'm dealing with here.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alright, so not the most ideal gig in the world (understatement understood) - but just wondering, what type of music goes well over in Kuwait? What type of gigs are you getting and who are your audiences (locals, ex - pats, etc...). Do you ever get jugglers? Hope it doesn't derail the thread too much, but I'm having a hard time imagining the set list I'd put together.

 

Rgds - billroy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did not have a whole lot of rules but two I did have were never play malls (which was not a big issue as they were still few and far between when we were in our heyday) or the Waikiki Room at the Holiday Inn.

 

Way back when though we did manage to get banned from playing high school dances by the town fathers who apparently found some of our lyrics objectionable. Funny thing is we could not have paid for better publicity.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Alright, so not the most ideal gig in the world (understatement understood) - but just wondering, what type of music goes well over in Kuwait? What type of gigs are you getting and who are your audiences (locals, ex - pats, etc...). Do you ever get jugglers? Hope it doesn't derail the thread too much, but I'm having a hard time imagining the set list I'd put together.

 

Rgds - billroy

 

I've observed before that if you mastered the Smash Mouth catalog, you could rule Kuwait. They're big on '90's rock.

 

My stuff has always gone over fairly well here. Audiences here are hungry for any type of music. That said, at a gig a couple of weeks ago, I got a request for "Wagon Wheel." I said, honestly, that I didn't know the words. (And I have no intention of learning them.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

2nd post, thanks for the warm welcome. My worst gig might be a gig that almost happened. Pre Gibson days I was 2nd act at a tony house party of the citys' elite when the first act quite unexpectedly attempted a handstand on the Steinway Grand that was in the "Rec Room" of this rather ostentatious home. I was just a few feet away, noodling away silently on my C. Bruno Ventura import when he apparently lost his balance and fell directly on the keys splitting his lips, breaking a tooth and opening a gash in his forehead that gushed, as head cuts do. I didn't see it but reacted quickly, applying my shirt to him to stop the flow which was all over the floor at this time. Our hostess, whom I had booked a 100$ show (good money for me in 1982) approached and directed me to "Clean this mess up and start your show". I was dumbstruck for a moment, then my ire for such a selfish rude woman came up and I told her that perhaps she could see if the caterers or drivers or her guests could take care of it as I was heading to the hospital with the bleeding, stunned man. She huffed away and we found his tooth, took off and got him stitched up. This house was on "Easy Street", I kid you not and throughout this huge room there were 5 gallon pickle jars filled with silver dollars. I had known well to do people at this point, good people but hadn't experienced this kind of callousness or selfishness. Needless to say I didn't get paid, but I did make a friend that night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2nd post, thanks for the warm welcome. My worst gig might be a gig that almost happened. Pre Gibson days I was 2nd act at a tony house party of the citys' elite when the first act quite unexpectedly attempted a handstand on the Steinway Grand that was in the "Rec Room" of this rather ostentatious home. I was just a few feet away, noodling away silently on my C. Bruno Ventura import when he apparently lost his balance and fell directly on the keys splitting his lips, breaking a tooth and opening a gash in his forehead that gushed, as head cuts do. I didn't see it but reacted quickly, applying my shirt to him to stop the flow which was all over the floor at this time. Our hostess, whom I had booked a 100$ show (good money for me in 1982) approached and directed me to "Clean this mess up and start your show". I was dumbstruck for a moment, then my ire for such a selfish rude woman came up and I told her that perhaps she could see if the caterers or drivers or her guests could take care of it as I was heading to the hospital with the bleeding, stunned man. She huffed away and we found his tooth, took off and got him stitched up. This house was on "Easy Street", I kid you not and throughout this huge room there were 5 gallon pickle jars filled with silver dollars. I had known well to do people at this point, good people but hadn't experienced this kind of callousness or selfishness. Needless to say I didn't get paid, but I did make a friend that night.

 

A guy doing handstands on a piano and breaking his tooth to boot, far exceeds and is worse the juggler being next to me at a gig.

 

QM aka Jazzman Jeff

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess if one is going to try doing handstands on a Steinway, one should expect to slip and fall from time to time.

 

But, yeah, to some people, the hired musicians are no different from the rent-a-waiters, rent-a-bartenders, etc. We're just one more service they're pissed that they have to pay money for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

But, yeah, to some people, the hired musicians are no different from the rent-a-waiters, rent-a-bartenders, etc. We're just one more service they're pissed that they have to pay money for.

 

Whoa, that’s quite a negative perspective. And, kind of an old school outlook, although I do have to admit that occasionally in my gigging I have run across that attitude from gig hiring managers, but luckily it has only been very rarely while the far majority have been very respectful and appreciative. Plus, I’ve kinda learned to navigate away from the gigs with hiring managers with that old school attitude, although my navigation skills away from such can never, of course, really be 100% on that front. Although I do let other musician peers know if I stumble across one, to also try to keep away.

 

Just my thoughts/experience.

 

QM aka Jazzmam Jeff

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...