onewilyfool Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Q: What is the difference between a pop guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A: The pop guitarist plays three chords before 1000 people. The jazz guitarist plays 1000 chords before three people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarstrummer Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Wily, my friend, you need to keep up on your forum reading. That joke was posted by ksdaddy the other day in the below thread. It is funny, though. http://forums.gibson.com/Default.aspx?g=posts&t=3823 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onewilyfool Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 I guess there is humor in repetition....sorry for stealing your joke KS....lol....still funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 If stealing jokes was a crime I'd be in a supermax keeping myself pretty for "Big Earl". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rollie LeBay Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 A guitarist won $10,000,000 in the state lottery. When he showed up to collect his winnings, an excited reporter rushed over to him, shoved a microphone in his face and asked, "What are your plans for the future?" The guitarist rubbed his chin and thought for a minute then answered, "I guess I'll keep gigging until the money runs out!" What's the difference between a guitarist and a certificate of deposit? The certificate of deposit will eventually mature and make money. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a professional musician's car? Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof! Uncle Buck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Ferguson Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Good ones! Here's another: Question: What's the difference between a guitarist and a large pizza? Answer: The large pizza can feed a family of four. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 The 14 year old Ellie-Mae type daughter ran up to her father who was rocking in his porch rocker..... "Paw, I jest came from town and there's a bunch o' them musicians headed this way on foot." "Daughter, y'all better put on somethin' a little less revealin', or better yet, get in the house 'til they go by." "Okay, Paw. Oh, y'know what else? One o' them fellers is totin' a BANJO." "Gawd almighty, better bring the dog inside too!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Two "Deadheads" die and when they arrive at the pearly gates they ask Saint Peter if Jerry Garcia is there. Saint Peter replies: "I'm sorry to inform you but, with the life Jerry Garcia led, he was sent to that other place." So, the "Deadheads" told Saint Peter: "If Jerry ain't here, we can't be here." As they turned to walk away, they saw a man with long grey hair and a beard, wearing a white robe. He was sitting on a rock, strumming a guitar and singing "Sugaree". The "Deadheads" point him out to Saint Peter and said: "You lied! Who's that? Right over there." Saint Peter replied: "OH. Him. That's God. He just thinks he's Jerry Garcia." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onewilyfool Posted June 1, 2008 Author Share Posted June 1, 2008 A guitar player with a lisp was asked if he had any nice bass runs to show the rest of the guys at a guitar jam. He replied, "Yes, I have thumb." (chika boom) Thank you I will be here all week..... Ok, enough with the jokes, all you guitar players get the pluck out of here........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Pup Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Q: Why should guitar players keep drumsticks on the dashboards of their cars? A: So they can park in the handicapped spots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender 4 Life Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 OMG ROFLMAO Space Pup. my best bud is a drummer, tytyty soooo much for that one, can't wait to crack him with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballcorner Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Q: What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend? A: Homeless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onewilyfool Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Ballcorner......lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballcorner Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Ballcorner......lol My favourite was handicapped parking with drum sticks, but thanks for the support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyK Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Good ones! Here's another: Question: What's the difference between a guitarist and a large pizza? Answer: The large pizza can feed a family of four. On a related note: Q: How do you get a musician to come to your home? A: Order Pizza. We-el-l-l-l dogies! I liked the Ellie May joke a whole bunch. Nearly swallered my gum. I don't think I can tell that 'un at the Bluegrass jam though. It's a family affair. I will use the Drumsticks on the dash joke though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksdaddy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Yeah, if you tell it to six people you'll have to explain it six times. I've been asked if I like bluegrass. Yep, I like all three songs, the slow one, the fast one, and the one in the middle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jefleppard Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 i used the 'drumsticks on the dash' one but substituted drumsticks for 'red wing bumper sticker'. went over well with my alright-but-somewhat-challenged-wing-fan friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff_L Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 On a related note: Q: How do you get a musician to come to your home? A: Order Pizza. We-el-l-l-l dogies! I liked the Ellie May joke a whole bunch. Nearly swallered my gum. I don't think I can tell that 'un at the Bluegrass jam though. It's a family affair. I will use the Drumsticks on the dash joke though. And how do you get the musician off of your front porch? Pay for the pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Pup Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I say this knowing I run the risk of sounding like a sexist little pervert... Women are like piano's....When they're not upright they're grand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Women are actually like guitars. One I fool around and play with, the other plays me for a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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