Sorry to hear about your wife's reaction. I hope she's doing better now.
I got my first jab of the Moderna vaccine on 2/19 with few side effects. That was a Friday afternoon and I had some mild flu-like symptoms and headache Friday night and all-day Saturday. Sunday, I woke up feeling fine. My second appointment is on 3/19. From what I've read, the reaction is usually stronger on the second shot. They say that's a "good" thing because it shows that your immune system is working right. I don't know about that but I'm no expert. Good luck.