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Do you simply have too much money?


Searcy

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A friend of mine sent me this eBay auction. Aren't you lucky to be living in such a magical age!

 

#-o :blink: [laugh][scared]:rolleyes:

 

 

 

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Tone-Aging-for-your-Guitar-Now-Your-Relic-can-play-and-sound-like-it-looks-/300892065355?pt=Guitar&hash=item460e908e4b

 

 

 

Sonic-Enhancement for your guitar body is now available. Tone-aging is finally here!

 

Everyone agrees… older instruments sound better, and feel better! They almost breathe life! They have a live feel, a “vibe” that transforms into musical magic! You can actually feel the instrument vibrate in unison with itself as you play. That’s what we’re talking about. If you have ever been so fortunate to strum a well-played 50’s Stratocaster®, then you have experienced tone nirvana. If not, you certainly have heard about it.

 

New instruments do not possess this character, not even high-priced custom shop instruments!

 

Even the highest priced instruments available today promote their construction features, fine finish and fantastic appearance. They might possibly talk about their resonance and wonderful feel. While all this may be true, in reality, they are still new instruments, aching to be broken-in. If made from solid, quality wood with a minimum of glue joints, these can be sonically-enhanced to make them as if they have already been played for years. What do you think that would mean to their tone?

 

Until now, most experts have concurred that the old, aged wood, drying over many years, significantly contributes to a guitar’s sonic signature. Musicians will pay a premium price for their guitars to be built from aged or older wood, or wood salvaged from an old building; then made to look aged, like a vintage instrument. However this effort still may not guarantee that the resulting instrument will offer the elusive tone they crave.

 

Yet, some older guitars that have spent most of their lives in a closet or under a bed do not possess this sonic magic. They often do not sound significantly better than a newer quality, similar instrument. Why is this?

 

Wooden instruments need to be played regularly and consistently to develop their true sonic potential. This is no secret! Quality guitars, violins and pianos all improve with age and frequent, continuous play. You already know this to be true.

 

It is said that playing the instrument literally opens-up the cellular structure of the wood, allowing it to actually sound better as it ages! Cells that once housed resin or water, now dried over many years, serve as mini “concert halls” where vibrations reverberate throughout and collectively project what we perceive as wondrous tone! Wow!

 

If you are in search of this holy grail of tone, then simply buying a quality wooden instrument or even building one built with aged wood is not enough.

 

Ask yourself; Which feels and operates better?

 

A new car engine or one where the engine is broken-in?

 

New shoes or broken-in shoes?

 

A new baseball glove or a conditioned, broken-in glove?

 

New speakers, or ones that have many hours of play?

 

A new guitar neck or one that has hundreds of hours of playing time logged?

 

We can certainly agree…Broken-in is generally better than brand new!

 

You have already paid a hefty price for someone to build you a premium, one or two piece guitar body and cosmetically age or “relic” the finish. Keep in mind, this does very little to affect the guitar’s tone, only its appearance! Although the guitar may look old, sonically, it’s still a new instrument. “Aging” the tone is a completely different matter.

 

We have developed a sophisticated, patent-pending process, painstakingly developed over a period of time, whereas we apply this principal of “breaking-in” to solid guitar bodies. We sonically “age” your new guitar body to make it feel and sound as if it has been masterfully played for years! We simply accelerate the process of conditioning the wood so you now are essentially playing an “older,” broken-in instrument.

 

The results are actually quite remarkable and guaranteed!

 

Our process works best on single piece, unfinished, stained or thin nitro-cellulose finished bodies made from quality hardwoods such as swamp ash, alder and mahogany. We do not recommend that you make this investment if your guitar has a urethane or other thick, non-natural finish or has many glue joints that inhibit the wood’s natural ability to vibrate. Our technology will not alter the appearance of your guitar in any way. Just send us your guitar body; we’ll do the rest.

 

Have you just purchased a “relic’d” body from a quality supplier builder? Great! We will make that old-looking body sound and “feel” more like it looks! After all… isn’t that what you really wanted in the first place?

 

We will submit your guitar body it to our process of "sonic-aging" for the equivalent of 300 hours of actual playing time. How many years would it take you to accumulate that much playing time on your guitar? Get the feel and sound you want now!

 

For example, just imagine your custom ’57 Stratocaster® replica… looks great, just like the real deal. Even if made from the best materials imaginable, it’s still a “new” guitar. Now… imagine the vibe and feel of a real ’57 that has been played constantly for the last 50 years. That’s the tone you really want! You can actually enjoy that kind of “vibe” now!

 

How much is your investment for this incredible process? Just $159 to sonically “break-in” your guitar body! Ship us your neck too (with mounting hardware) and we will make its "broken-in" vibe match its relic appearance for only an additional $75.(See separate listing.) Actually, for a limited time only: Include your neck and mounting plate/screws with your body and we will sonically "break-it-in" as well for FREE!

 

Please… only solid body guitars for now. We are not yet setup for acoustic instruments at this time. Depending upon demand, we may offer this service at a later date. (Do leave a message informing us of your interest in acoustic service.)

 

What next?

 

Ship us your instrument, insured priority mail, in a secure, well-padded box. We will return your masterpiece to you in the same container in approximately two weeks. You simply re-assemble your guitar with quality hardware and begin enjoying its true potential! Get the tone and vibe you crave! Now your relic will not only look authentic, but will sound and feel more like the real deal too!You will be so glad you did.

 

After you use Buy It Now, an email will be sent to you with shipping instructions.

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Guest Farnsbarns

300 hours of actual playing time. How many years would it take you to accumulate that much playing time on your guitar?

 

Erm, about 150 days (5 months), does that make my LP sonicly-aged. It doesn't sound any different.

 

[lol]

 

Edit: the seller doesn't accept questions?!?!? Ha ha ha.

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...The results are actually quite remarkable and guaranteed!...

I'd love to know the limits of the guarantee....

Can you imagine the scene in court after the instrument was returned;

 

Plaintiff : "It sounds just the same as it did before I sent it to you!"

Defence : "No it doesn't! It sounds MUCH better!"

Plaintiff : "No it doesn't!"

Defendant : "Yes it does!".......and on and on.............

 

[laugh]

 

The seller should change their listing name to the 'Snake-Oil and Horse-Manure Co. Ltd.'.

 

P.

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It is said that playing the instrument literally opens-up the cellular structure of the wood, allowing it to actually sound better as it ages! Cells that once housed resin or water, now dried over many years, serve as mini “concert halls” where vibrations reverberate throughout and collectively project what we perceive as wondrous tone! Wow!

 

See..? This process magically removes hardened resin from the cells!! It makes mini concert halls!!! WOW!! That's like science and sh!t!! [thumbup]

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kind of disappointed he didn't use the metaphor of an experienced woman being better in the sack than a virgin [biggrin]

 

 

 

I always try on shoes before I buy them, bet I've NEVER bought a worn out pair of shoes!

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...does that make my LP sonicly-aged. It doesn't sound any different...

Perhaps you also need to have your head "Sonically-Enhanced" as well, Farns?

 

I mean to say, if people actually take them up on this offer they clearly need their heads examined at the very least....

 

P.

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A friend of mine sent me this eBay auction. Aren't you lucky to be living in such a magical age!

 

#-o :blink: [laugh][scared]:rolleyes:

 

 

 

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Tone-Aging-for-your-Guitar-Now-Your-Relic-can-play-and-sound-like-it-looks-/300892065355?pt=Guitar&hash=item460e908e4b

 

 

 

Sonic-Enhancement for your guitar body is now available. Tone-aging is finally here!

 

Everyone agrees… older instruments sound better, and feel better! They almost breathe life! They have a live feel, a “vibe” that transforms into musical magic! You can actually feel the instrument vibrate in unison with itself as you play. That’s what we’re talking about. If you have ever been so fortunate to strum a well-played 50’s Stratocaster®, then you have experienced tone nirvana. If not, you certainly have heard about it.

 

New instruments do not possess this character, not even high-priced custom shop instruments!

 

Even the highest priced instruments available today promote their construction features, fine finish and fantastic appearance. They might possibly talk about their resonance and wonderful feel. While all this may be true, in reality, they are still new instruments, aching to be broken-in. If made from solid, quality wood with a minimum of glue joints, these can be sonically-enhanced to make them as if they have already been played for years. What do you think that would mean to their tone?

 

Until now, most experts have concurred that the old, aged wood, drying over many years, significantly contributes to a guitar’s sonic signature. Musicians will pay a premium price for their guitars to be built from aged or older wood, or wood salvaged from an old building; then made to look aged, like a vintage instrument. However this effort still may not guarantee that the resulting instrument will offer the elusive tone they crave.

 

Yet, some older guitars that have spent most of their lives in a closet or under a bed do not possess this sonic magic. They often do not sound significantly better than a newer quality, similar instrument. Why is this?

 

Wooden instruments need to be played regularly and consistently to develop their true sonic potential. This is no secret! Quality guitars, violins and pianos all improve with age and frequent, continuous play. You already know this to be true.

 

It is said that playing the instrument literally opens-up the cellular structure of the wood, allowing it to actually sound better as it ages! Cells that once housed resin or water, now dried over many years, serve as mini “concert halls” where vibrations reverberate throughout and collectively project what we perceive as wondrous tone! Wow!

 

If you are in search of this holy grail of tone, then simply buying a quality wooden instrument or even building one built with aged wood is not enough.

 

Ask yourself; Which feels and operates better?

 

A new car engine or one where the engine is broken-in?

 

New shoes or broken-in shoes?

 

A new baseball glove or a conditioned, broken-in glove?

 

New speakers, or ones that have many hours of play?

 

A new guitar neck or one that has hundreds of hours of playing time logged?

 

We can certainly agree…Broken-in is generally better than brand new!

 

You have already paid a hefty price for someone to build you a premium, one or two piece guitar body and cosmetically age or “relic” the finish. Keep in mind, this does very little to affect the guitar’s tone, only its appearance! Although the guitar may look old, sonically, it’s still a new instrument. “Aging” the tone is a completely different matter.

 

We have developed a sophisticated, patent-pending process, painstakingly developed over a period of time, whereas we apply this principal of “breaking-in” to solid guitar bodies. We sonically “age” your new guitar body to make it feel and sound as if it has been masterfully played for years! We simply accelerate the process of conditioning the wood so you now are essentially playing an “older,” broken-in instrument.

 

The results are actually quite remarkable and guaranteed!

 

Our process works best on single piece, unfinished, stained or thin nitro-cellulose finished bodies made from quality hardwoods such as swamp ash, alder and mahogany. We do not recommend that you make this investment if your guitar has a urethane or other thick, non-natural finish or has many glue joints that inhibit the wood’s natural ability to vibrate. Our technology will not alter the appearance of your guitar in any way. Just send us your guitar body; we’ll do the rest.

 

Have you just purchased a “relic’d” body from a quality supplier builder? Great! We will make that old-looking body sound and “feel” more like it looks! After all… isn’t that what you really wanted in the first place?

 

We will submit your guitar body it to our process of "sonic-aging" for the equivalent of 300 hours of actual playing time. How many years would it take you to accumulate that much playing time on your guitar? Get the feel and sound you want now!

 

For example, just imagine your custom ’57 Stratocaster® replica… looks great, just like the real deal. Even if made from the best materials imaginable, it’s still a “new” guitar. Now… imagine the vibe and feel of a real ’57 that has been played constantly for the last 50 years. That’s the tone you really want! You can actually enjoy that kind of “vibe” now!

 

How much is your investment for this incredible process? Just $159 to sonically “break-in” your guitar body! Ship us your neck too (with mounting hardware) and we will make its "broken-in" vibe match its relic appearance for only an additional $75.(See separate listing.) Actually, for a limited time only: Include your neck and mounting plate/screws with your body and we will sonically "break-it-in" as well for FREE!

 

Please… only solid body guitars for now. We are not yet setup for acoustic instruments at this time. Depending upon demand, we may offer this service at a later date. (Do leave a message informing us of your interest in acoustic service.)

 

What next?

 

Ship us your instrument, insured priority mail, in a secure, well-padded box. We will return your masterpiece to you in the same container in approximately two weeks. You simply re-assemble your guitar with quality hardware and begin enjoying its true potential! Get the tone and vibe you crave! Now your relic will not only look authentic, but will sound and feel more like the real deal too!You will be so glad you did.

 

After you use Buy It Now, an email will be sent to you with shipping instructions.

 

I'd like it if the local luthier or music shop would get one of these ToneRItes and rent it out. (doesn't make sense to buy one for one or two guitars, but many guitars yes.)

I thought the question was ... You know you've got too much money when ... you drive by a city bus in a porsche and the driver just shakes his head ... lol. (the bus driver is thinking 'my bus is about five hundred grand of boot and if you cross me i'll crush you and you're seventy thousand dollar boxster!')

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... you drive by a city bus in a porsche and the driver just shakes his head ... lol. (the bus driver is thinking 'my bus is about five hundred grand of boot and if you cross me i'll crush you and you're seventy thousand dollar boxster!')

I seriously doubt bus drivers are so narrow-minded and stupid.

 

P.

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I'd like it if the local luthier or music shop would get one of these ToneRItes and rent it out. (doesn't make sense to buy one for one or two guitars, but many guitars yes.)

I thought the question was ... You know you've got too much money when ... you drive by a city bus in a porsche and the driver just shakes his head ... lol. (the bus driver is thinking 'my bus is about five hundred grand of boot and if you cross me i'll crush you and you're seventy thousand dollar boxster!')

 

w-w-ww-ait! did i miss the jist of this thread (it was sooo long and i didn't read it all)? there was an ad on ebay for a service that will sonically age the wood on your new guitar for a specified price if you send it to them? it sounds like a legitimate process because it reminds me of a product called a ToneRite that attaches to an acoustic guitar and sonically unlocks the wood in a process similar to aging. but the inference was that if you could afford to send your guitar away to have someone stick a vibrator on it to make it feel good ... yov've got too much money, Guv! i was interested in the ToneRite process of aging a new guitar's wood by vibration, in the thinking that old wood on a guitar sounds richer, warmer than new. the thing with the ToneRite is that it's a hundred or so bucks and how many guitars would you use it on, a few, a dozen? It would make sense for a music shop to get a ToneRite and advertise the service or rent out the device. BTW: I'm the guy riding the bus! beep beep

I guess some of the threads on this subject are questioning whether the ebay ad is bogus or for real. the technology they're advertising already exists but they might be greedy middlemen charging like that when you could probably own the technology for the price they want. actually they say their service will age the guitar like an eqivalent of 300 hrs. of playing and that's like fifty years of age ... haw, 300 hrs is more like a few years of weekly gigs.

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Guest Farnsbarns

w-w-ww-ait! did i miss the jist of this thread (it was sooo long and i didn't read it all)? there was an ad on ebay for a service that will sonically age the wood on your new guitar for a specified price if you send it to them? it sounds like a legitimate process because it reminds me of a product called a ToneRite that attaches to an acoustic guitar and sonically unlocks the wood in a process similar to aging. but the inference was that if you could afford to send your guitar away to have someone stick a vibrator on it to make it feel good ... yov've got too much money, Guv! i was interested in the ToneRite process of aging a new guitar's wood by vibration, in the thinking that old wood on a guitar sounds richer, warmer than new. the thing with the ToneRite is that it's a hundred or so bucks and how many guitars would you use it on, a few, a dozen? It would make sense for a music shop to get a ToneRite and advertise the service or rent out the device. BTW: I'm the guy riding the bus! beep beep

I guess some of the threads on this subject are questioning whether the ebay ad is bogus or for real. the technology they're advertising already exists but they might be greedy middlemen charging like that when you could probably own the technology for the price they want. actually they say their service will age the guitar like an eqivalent of 300 hrs. of playing and that's like fifty years of age ... haw, 300 hrs is more like a few years of weekly gigs.

 

I find it incredible that you could believe this process to make any difference at all, there is no way to vibrate wood "faster" than just vibrating it. But the really funny part is that anyone would believe that 300 hours of play time is going to have an effect. I have played my LP for an estimated 1200 hours and it hasn't "sonicly-aged" at all yet. That one's nearly new, I have an epi SG that must have seen around 7000 hours and it ain't happened to that either.

 

I think that if the ageing process does improve tone wood then it is a combination of things and I rather suspect it can't be accelerated.

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...I find it incredible that you could believe this process to make any difference at all...

Let's keep this in perspective.

 

As has been pointed out repeatedly; when Clapton played on the 'Beano' his 'burst was a mere 5 years old. In other words precisely as 'Vintage' as a 2008 Les Paul would be today.

 

In fact when all those seminal albums featuring the quintessential Les Paul tone - Kossoff; Green; Bloomfield; Allman etc. etc. - were recorded their guitars were all between 5 and 10 years old.

 

My quartet's average age is 19 years and 6 months. Does anyone here really believe they will sound better today than they did, say, 5 years ago?

 

P.

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I have a guitar that sounds better than it used to and I've farted a lot since I got it. The more I've farted, the better the guitar's gotten. [thumbup]

 

Hello Badbluesplayer!

 

Think of it like this: when You play, the instrument rests on Your belly. Your belly acts as a resonance chamber, enhancing the tone of Your instrument. If You're not farting often enough (pardon me!), Your inner tract is filled with methane gas. Methane is lighter than air, thus a belly full of it will give brightness to the overall tone. A digestive system with better density, will give You a much richer tone.

 

Cheers... Bence

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I've spent some time with a nice early 1980's Custom Les Paul, it wasn't mine but I did play it quite a bit when it was new. I've owned 2 used SG's that where more then 5 years old when I got them so I really can't say much about how these guitar's "age". I have owned (from new) a very nice Epephone Texan for more than 2 years now and as it's the only acoustic I've (owned) played over this time it has accumulated a lot of hour's on it. I'd say it has close to 1000 hour's of play-time on it, the first 5 or so fret's at the nut now need to be replaced and many, many set's of string's, I have noticed a change in over-all tone (sonic's) on in. This is an acoustic guitar so it may not be a proper comparison so that's all I can truthfully say. I can say the Texan is less diffused and more solid sounding, it's still just as loud as it was when it was new but it's more focused and it may have even lost a bit of sustain but the harmonic's are more clear and like I said less diffused.

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