I'm so SICK, of losing our children, this way!!

[charlie brown]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/13/rebecca-ann-sedwick_n_3922738.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl17%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D374919

 

Another beaufiful child, lost, to suicide, due to months of Cyber Bullying!

This Shite has got to stop! Prosecute those responsible, with Criminal Depraved

Indifference, at the very least! [cursing] This crap,

makes me Crazy (more so, than I already am, that is)!

 

CB

[Izzy]

No offence but...the parents are to blame and these kids (the predators and prey) are weak minded. I feel sorry for the kid but I also can't help but feel contempt.

 

Before you get all pi$$ed at me consider this:

 

I was out of the closet in 1993, BEFORE Ellen, and I got spit on by my class mates in the halls of the little hick Texas school I went to for that and for being Mexican. Before that, when I was four, I was sexually assaulted by my step-dad.

 

How did I make it through that BS? My family was very strong and sensitive to what I was feeling. There was no need to look through a journal or be hit in the face with what I was dealing with. My family was involved. My mom told me, "Don't worry about people judging you because you're Mexican, they're ignorant and you're thin. You will grow up to look like me and what will they look like...their moms. Ewww." Well, heck, that worked like a charm! When I told gramma about my step-dad she beat the heck out of him before kicking him out of the country. He's lucky we didn't tell grammpa.

 

My guess is these parents just give these kids smart-phones and internet access with little guidance besides a talk, and then they move on to their own affairs. The parents of the little jerks are to blame for raising kids without compassion and the parents of the weak kids are to blame for raising spineless babies.

 

How do you teach values? Share stories of your troubled youth and share stories of triumph and courage from the family. Get the kids to respect and admire their kin and to guard the family's honor. As a kid, I knew my grandmother went hungry and my mother went cold, I knew the hierarchy of what there is to be sad about. I knew I was lucky just to have shoes. Fraken parents just give phones away and say nothing. Then these kids become weak, mean, entitled a-holes, and we wonder why!

 

And before you say that at least for me the bullying stopped when I got home and just settled to watch tv, remember that these kids are NOT adults. TAKE THE PHONES AND INTERNET AWAY. It is a privilege to have them at a young age and it is a choice once they're home. At school you may let them have a phone for emergencies (total bullcorn, I never needed one) and internet for...whatever, but home you can certainly put them on the living room computer for school work, look over their shoulders and limit times. Accountability, people. Lazy parenting is the leading cause of child mortality.

[charlie brown]

Hey Izzy...I'm not going to get "mad at you," for anything you've said. That's your life

expeience, and a lot of what you say is true. That's kind of my point (beyond my complete

contempt for "bullies" in general, "Cyber" or otherwise).

 

It's a very unfortunate, and totally disgusting symptom, of our time...and the morality,

or lack thereof, the totally spoiled "entitlement, and lack of compassion, and even lack

of "consequences," that seems to permeate society, anymore. I know there are always Good

and/or Great people, at any particular time...but, this kind of thing is happening more

and more. Along with kidnapping, and murdering our children, too. It's in the news, every

day (or, nearly so), now. When I grew up, you RARELY heard anything like this, or anything

else, that's become "commonplace," now. It's just amazing (and, not in a good way) what we

are becomming accustomed to, even to the point of becoming "numb" (maybe, trying to avoid,

dealing with it?) to it.

 

Parenting, the media ("social," or otherwise), and what's sold/depicted as being "important,"

as opposed to what IS important, all play a part. Unfortunately, I'm convinced it will get a

LOT worse, before it gets any better.

 

CB

[moparguy]

No offence but...the parents are to blame and these kids (the predators and prey) are weak minded. I feel sorry for the kid but I also can't help but feel contempt.

 

Before you get all pi$$ed at me consider this:

 

I was out of the closet in 1993, BEFORE Ellen, and I got spit on by my class mates in the halls of the little hick Texas school I went to for that and for being Mexican. Before that, when I was four, I was sexually assaulted by my step-dad.

 

How did I make it through that BS? My family was very strong and sensitive to what I was feeling. There was no need to look through a journal or be hit in the face with what I was dealing with. My family was involved. My mom told me, "Don't worry about people judging you because you're Mexican, they're ignorant and you're thin. You will grow up to look like me and what will they look like...their moms. Ewww." Well, heck, that worked like a charm! When I told gramma about my step-dad she beat the heck out of him before kicking him out of the country. He's lucky we didn't tell grammpa.

 

My guess is these parents just give these kids smart-phones and internet access with little guidance besides a talk, and then they move on to their own affairs. The parents of the little jerks are to blame for raising kids without compassion and the parents of the weak kids are to blame for raising spineless babies.

 

How do you teach values? Share stories of your troubled youth and share stories of triumph and courage from the family. Get the kids to respect and admire their kin and to guard the family's honor. As a kid, I knew my grandmother went hungry and my mother went cold, I knew the hierarchy of what there is to be sad about. I knew I was lucky just to have shoes. Fraken parents just give phones away and say nothing. Then these kids become weak, mean, entitled a-holes, and we wonder why!

 

And before you say that at least for me the bullying stopped when I got home and just settled to watch tv, remember that these kids are NOT adults. TAKE THE PHONES AND INTERNET AWAY. It is a privilege to have them at a young age and it is a choice once they're home. At school you may let them have a phone for emergencies (total bullcorn, I never needed one) and internet for...whatever, but home you can certainly put them on the living room computer for school work, look over their shoulders and limit times. Accountability, people. Lazy parenting is the leading cause of child mortality.

Your first sentence says it all, I agree 100%

[charlie brown]

So, in a sense, regarding the victim, you feel like it's just a modern version,

of "survival of the fittest?!" You feel contempt, for her? Interesting, since

we don't really know what her parents, or she was really like. Except, what we

read, in these articles. Weak minded??? Maybe, but maybe not. EVERYONE has a

breaking point. A year, of "relentless group bullying," cyber or otherwise, is

pretty intense, for even the stongest of people! Is it up to the bullies to help

her reach that breaking point?!

 

CB

[jaxson50]

I grew up in a different time, things have changed so much, cyber bullying I don't get...I went to a school where whites and blacks were the minorities, we got along just fine, even in the 60s while race riots were burning down cities. It was not uncommon for me or my friends to be ganged up on by 5 or more guys, mostly Mexican gang members.There were about 2,800 kids in my first high school, maybe 250 white kids and 25 blacks, there wasn't a day that went by with out a fight somewhere. My dad told me if I didn't fight back he would kick my *** when I got home, in his defense, when I got in trouble for fighting he came to my school & told the principle " you won't do anything to stop the bullying in your school so I told my son I'd kick his *** if he didn't fight back, and if you don't like it, I'll kick your *** too!" Maybe we could use that approach now, it worked for me.. In my freshman year there were 3 stabbings and four rapes at my high school. If you didn't stand up to the bullies life was not going to be fun...that being said, we had a rifle team and a rifle range at our school, never had a shooting...sadly I do know that several classmates committed suicide before they reached the age of 25, I have no idea why, maybe they had drug problems, maybe they were gay and could not deal with life in the closet. As I said, life was much different then, no cyber bullying. I can't think of one classmate that was openly gay at the time. We never even thought about such things. But now 40 years later through Facebook I have learned that many of them were living in the closet. So it really wasn't obvious to us, we were oblivious to the issue. The draft and the war in Vietnam and equal rights movement was a much larger issue at that time. Life was not simpler, the issues were just as intense but society was much more reserved.I would have to agree with Izzy, limit the use of cyber tools by kids.

[tazzboy]

Izzy I agree I hope the state goes after not only the kids, but the parents as well.

This another reason as too many why I don't like Social Network sites and why I will never have one.

[Rosemarie]

I was bullied all throughout grade school and high school because I am visually impaired. I was the first disabled child in my Parochial School (in 1979 when Special Education was in its infancy). I was beat up EVERY DAY by my classmates and verbally and physically abused by my teachers. I had stomach problems from all the stress and have been depressed since then. I still have nightmares. It was hell. I won't lie that I thought about suicide many times back then. It breaks my heart every time I hear these stories because for "advanced" as our society claims to be, we are still ignorant and backwards in our thinking.

[bonzoboy]

You have good reason to stand tall and proud Izzy,for what you've endured you have persevered and didn't let it break you but with the support of a loving family you took the bull by the horns and used everything negative in your life to make you stronger,God Bless You!!!

 

With regard to cyber bullying,there is an ongoing case in Nova Scotia that's gaining national attention and has launched a national campaign to fight cyber bullying.A couple of years ago a beautiful 14 year old girl was gang raped and to add to the trauma of it all one of the sick bastards had the gall to record a video on their phone and then replay it on his website.Needless to say the girl became the butt of all kinds of horrible remarks and namecalling after the video went viral.The police were also called to task on this by their apparent reluctance to investigate the case fully and amazingly didn't press any charges.This all changed when one night the girl,after being humiliated and tortured for so long,took her own life.The public outrage was instant and the police force became a disgrace all across the country.The case was reopened and all who were involved will now be prosecuted.It sickens me to no end that it took the suicide of a beautiful,gifted and loved girl for people to finally to open their eyes to the extent of damage that cyber bullying and any bullying really can do.

 

Years ago A girl I knew was being stalked by her abusive bullying ex-boyfriend who would routinely beat her to a pulp if she didn't give in to his "romantic" advances.This idiot was phoning her at all hours of the night,following her often and phoning her work so often that she was fearing that her job was in jeopardy.I encountered the guy one night and told him that if he liked hitting people so much that I would let him hit me twice as hard as he wanted before I would move a muscle.The cowardly SOB said that he wasn't "into violence" that was all it took for me to just explode,he didn't mind beating the daylights out of a tiny mite of a girl who wasn't nearly half his size, yet when I challenged him and gave him a good chance of gaining the upper hand,he backed down.I gave him a more than ample taste of his own medicine,so much so that it took 3 people to haul me off him.His face was so messed up that he couldn't go to work for a week and he never ventured outside his house for a month.Needless to say she never heard from again,I guess that was because I told him that if he ever contacted her again,the going over I gave him would be love taps compared to what I'd do then.

 

I am on several anti-bullying internet groups after getting involved with the group "Real Men Don't Hit Women" When I was 9 or 10 I was very "pudgy"would get bullied relentlessly,until I learned to handle myself pretty good and then the bullying stopped when a few of my tormentors got the tables turned on them.I have been vehemently against bullying ever since then and have been quick to step in to stop it when I see it,it is on of the most low-life cowardly things a person could do.

[Searcy]

All kids bully and all kids get bullied . We say we hate bullying but we don't . in fact if the right person is getting bullied we love it.

Not only do we not need to write laws against bullying and hate speech . We need to protect it which is exactly what the first amendment to the US constitution does.

[PingPongBob]

All kids bully and all kids get bullied . We say we hate bullying but we don't . in fact if the right person is getting bullied we love it.

Not only do we not need to write laws against bullying and hate speech . We need to protect it which is exactly what the first amendment to the US constitution does.

 

I agree 100%. This cyber bullying bullshiit is just that. Bullshit!

My teen years was in the '60s early '70s.

Everyone was bullied to some extent.

I was too tall, I had buck teeth. I got bullied for it. I fought back and kicked some ass and got my ass kicked.

To the best of my knowledge, nobody offed themselves because of it.

You were either fought back or you were a victim.

The pussification of the world continues.

[charlie brown]

Well, much as I hate it, I'd have to admit there is that element, in all of us,

if the right buttons are pushed! Just like we're all capable, of "blowing someone

away," IF the right buttons were pushed, or situation presented itself. Maybe,

what's going to happen (wouldn't surprise me, in the least), is that the world,

in general, is going to reach the point of having "the mother of all conflicts,

where ALL this crap will seem like pre-school "childs play," by comparison. I

feel a "bubbling" under the surface, like I've never experienced, before, in my

life. It's as if everyone is either walking on egg shells, all the time, or...

eagerly wanting to stomp them, into powder, at a second's notice. I don't know!

It's why mankind is called the "most dangerous creature, on the planet!" And...

it's true!! But, it doesn't mean I have to like it, or even accept it,

without trying for something "better."

 

CB

[charlie brown]

I agree 100%. This cyber bullying bullshiit is just that. Bullshit!

My teen years was in the '60s early '70s.

Everyone was bullied to some extent.

I was too tall, I had buck teeth. I got bullied for it. I fought back and kicked some ass and got my ass kicked.

To the best of my knowledge, nobody offed themselves because of it.

You were either fought back or you were a victim.

The pussification of the world continues.

 

We had fights, with "bullies," too. But, often as not, we laughed about it,

later...even with the bully! But, I'm sorry, folks...things have gone way beyond

the kind of "bullying" I/We experienced in the '50's and 60's! Back then, unless

you were some kind of "gang" member, fist fights, were about as crazy as it got.

In the cities, I'm sure it was a bit more "serious," with knives and guns (at times),

but still...NOTHING like today! This is NOT just "my opinion," but that of folks

that are a lot more "in tune" with what's going on now, compared to what went on,

then!

When kids today, carry knives and guns, or have them in their cars, and kill one

another for tennis shoes, or looking at them "wrong," or because they're "bored,"

and just want to know what it feels like to kill someone...there's no "laughing about

it," later (unless they're complete psycho's to begin with)...there's no "later" for some,

at all! And, because we've legislated out, way too many "consequences," that were

available to our parents, and teachers, to use...kids have fewer constraints, than

we did.

 

Yeah, there's always been "bullying" to a degree! But, the degree, is what's changed!

 

CB

[jaxson50]

Bullies need a good *** whipping

[charlie brown]

Bullies need a good *** whipping

 

And, you know what, back in our day, that's EXACTLY what they got,

sooner or later!! Usually, sooner!

 

I think in face to face situations, that Still happens, more often

than not. Trouble is, sometimes the retaliation, is deadly, instead

of just "what they needed/deserved." I'm not saying that back in our

day, there weren't deadly confrontations. Just not to the extent,

and frequency, we seem to be seeing, more and more, these days.

But, we had (a lot more of) two parent households, with one parent

at home, and one at work....not both! "God" was still a factor, like

it, or not. Life was, in many ways, much simpler, then. We weren't

trying to live up to some fantasy life-style promoted on TV, nearly as

forcefully. We've gained, a lot, in Technology...but, IMHO...we've lost

some of our "souls" in the process. But, that's just Me!

 

"Cyber Bulling" DOES exist. I didn't make this up! It's different,

and...in some ways, more serious, because you can't "whip their ***'s,

as often you don't know exactly who to whip! We've seen very mild

forms, of that kind of mentality, on this very forum. Some are harmless

"trolls," and some are a bit further "out there!" They don't last long,

here, thankfully...due to our own self-restraints, and those of our decent

and fair, moderator's. But, they Do exist.

 

CB

[milod]

Well... from doing more than a bit of observation on "culture" the past 50 years as an "adult," I'd first have to agree that we're in an entirely different world.

 

Part of it is change in the general culture, part is due to the "feelings" emphasis in today's media. Facts, processes - those tend to be pushed to the background and it's especially how special groups of "victims" are emphasized. Who is a "victim," of course, tends to be determined by a somewhat leftist media that is basically changing definitions of "good," "bad," and "right and wrong." The few "rightist" media tend to insist on rigid interpretations of "right and wrong" of their own that equally denies certain realities.

 

I think we've always had bullying - I ran into it and my Mom referenced the classics (she was a lit teacher among other things) in informing me that I would fight back or get worse when I got home. I did and oddly it ended the bullying.

 

We also had lots of firearms around. Kids carried them to high school and nobody nobody was shooting up others, either. Teachers ensured "the schoolyard fight" was fair as possible. Their refereeing taught the combatants and spectators alike that there's even a "right and wrong" to any dispute, physical or verbal.

 

Why has the "verbal" bullying of the past now expanded in such a nastier form into today's cyber world?

 

Because a punch in the nose of the old days has been replaced by societal-demanded pacifism. It's the "non-violent schoolyard" that's unnatural for kids learning basic rules of society. The "non-violent schoolyard" instead teaches them to bottle in their child-charged emotions ... until they explode.

 

"Teachers" (including parents) are required to enforce a pacifistic ideal rather than one of observing and guiding the learning of social skills that are necessary to satisfying adult life in any cultural environment.

 

Note too that at certain levels of child development there are different levels of group bullying. Yet "we" see it sadly not as a time to teach something better, but rather something to halt - which never works, of course.

 

Kids group by various rules they divine for themselves and will reject "the other" whether it's a financially "poor" person of another race or a wealthy child or a smart child or a retarded one or... it depends on what happens to be available to kids learning to "group" and determine what rules to follow as a group as well as individuals. But we don't let out teachers guide groups those groups in today's world; we instead force them to be strict rule enforcers.

 

It's so odd that we insist on pacifism in schoolyards while allowing increased violence in media and "games" that makes the Romans' gladiatorial "games" look like roadrunner cartoons in comparison.

 

Also part of it is a refusal to admit that a degree of hypocrisy has value as a social safety valve - even while "we" tend to be moral hypocrites if it's our ox being gored.

 

Basically the ongoing evolution of "morality" in the far east and the "Christian" west have been roughly similar. Both have undergone periods of adjustment. But the basic "morality" has been similar since perhaps 250 or 300 C.E.: "The" Buddha, Confucius, Jesus, Hillel... Not all are "theistic," but all proclaim there's a moral core necessary for both individual and societal harmony.

 

I think our current "secular morality" is a problem because it depends on the perspectives of a given time rather than on fundamentals that "religions" have espoused over long time periods and even through ignoring their own fundamentals.

 

If "secular morality" were to be given a name and institutionalized, I think one would find it becoming far more coherent and some "values" dropped while others entrenched. After all, that's functionally "Confucianism." Until then we reject religion; we reject all but what seems like a good idea to a large group of people at a given time. Sheesh.

 

<sigh> m

[tazzboy]

Oh believe you mean there was a time or to I wanted to go at bully believe. If it hadn't been for my mom stepping in on one that doing mean crap to me I probably would have gone at him myself.

[charlie brown]

Well... from doing more than a bit of observation on "culture" the past 50 years as an "adult," I'd first have to agree that we're in an entirely different world.

 

Part of it is change in the general culture, part is due to the "feelings" emphasis in today's media. Facts, processes - those tend to be pushed to the background and it's especially how special groups of "victims" are emphasized. Who is a "victim," of course, tends to be determined by a somewhat leftist media that is basically changing definitions of "good," "bad," and "right and wrong." The few "rightist" media tend to insist on rigid interpretations of "right and wrong" of their own that equally denies certain realities.

 

I think we've always had bullying - I ran into it and my Mom referenced the classics (she was a lit teacher among other things) in informing me that I would fight back or get worse when I got home. I did and oddly it ended the bullying.

 

We also had lots of firearms around. Kids carried them to high school and nobody nobody was shooting up others, either. Teachers ensured "the schoolyard fight" was fair as possible. Their refereeing taught the combatants and spectators alike that there's even a "right and wrong" to any dispute, physical or verbal.

 

Why has the "verbal" bullying of the past now expanded in such a nastier form into today's cyber world?

 

Because a punch in the nose of the old days has been replaced by societal-demanded pacifism. It's the "non-violent schoolyard" that's unnatural for kids learning basic rules of society. The "non-violent schoolyard" instead teaches them to bottle in their child-charged emotions ... until they explode.

 

"Teachers" (including parents) are required to enforce a pacifistic ideal rather than one of observing and guiding the learning of social skills that are necessary to satisfying adult life in any cultural environment.

 

Note too that at certain levels of child development there are different levels of group bullying. Yet "we" see it sadly not as a time to teach something better, but rather something to halt - which never works, of course.

 

Kids group by various rules they divine for themselves and will reject "the other" whether it's a financially "poor" person of another race or a wealthy child or a smart child or a retarded one or... it depends on what happens to be available to kids learning to "group" and determine what rules to follow as a group as well as individuals. But we don't let out teachers guide groups those groups in today's world; we instead force them to be strict rule enforcers.

 

It's so odd that we insist on pacifism in schoolyards while allowing increased violence in media and "games" that makes the Romans' gladiatorial "games" look like roadrunner cartoons in comparison.

 

Also part of it is a refusal to admit that a degree of hypocrisy has value as a social safety valve - even while "we" tend to be moral hypocrites if it's our ox being gored.

 

Basically the ongoing evolution of "morality" in the far east and the "Christian" west have been roughly similar. Both have undergone periods of adjustment. But the basic "morality" has been similar since perhaps 250 or 300 C.E.: "The" Buddha, Confucius, Jesus, Hillel... Not all are "theistic," but all proclaim there's a moral core necessary for both individual and societal harmony.

 

I think our current "secular morality" is a problem because it depends on the perspectives of a given time rather than on fundamentals that "religions" have espoused over long time periods and even through ignoring their own fundamentals.

 

If "secular morality" were to be given a name and institutionalized, I think one would find it becoming far more coherent and some "values" dropped while others entrenched. After all, that's functionally "Confucianism." Until then we reject religion; we reject all but what seems like a good idea to a large group of people at a given time. Sheesh.

 

<sigh> m

 

Thanks, Milod...

 

CB

[darling67]

The internet, cellphones, social media… these are all good things—that is, things with a lot potential for being put to good use— that are abused, and even dangerous.

 

There have always been bullies. When I was a kid, bullying happened and remained where it happened—save for any verbal recounting that might have occurred after the fact. Today, the bullying is public, and permanently documented, and spread faster than a wildfire over the internet and cellphones. The damage is no longer relegated to the prey's memory—it's there for all to see out in the open.

 

So, I am pretty much in agreement. Modern technology should be ONLY in the hands of those who are responsible enough to have it. Easier said than done, perhaps. But again, as has been pointed out already—it's up to parents to police their children and know when they are capable of having so much at their fingertips.

[Bender 4 Life]

my 1st broken nose was from stopping a bully from throwing rocks at a much younger boy.....told him to stop, he sucker punched me....I gave him a groin-kick, and hit him in the face w/a half brick.

that's when I was 10.

I was always the guy that other kids came to when they were being bullied, because they knew I wasn't "above" clubbing, stabbing, or choking a bully.

I was raised by a bully, and had to learn to fight very dirty, very young, just to survive.

 

Bullys deserve whatever they get, and while some get away w/it.....most end up "paying the piper", eventually.

 

the "social media" aspect is really just an asterisk, because it's happened since the dawn of civilization.

[cookieman15061]

This.

 

[moparguy]

The pussification of the world continues--- that's exactly right. We have gone to great extents to do it also. When I was a kid playing baseball, if you won the championship game you got a trophy, if you lost, you got nothing. Ive been on the losing end and your cry because you lost but you get over it by the next morning and you are a little tougher mentally and you go on about your kid life. Nowadays, the losing team gets a trophy too so that " their feelings aren't hurt "! Give me a break. Don't get me wrong , it is sad and its tragic, but the kids today are weaker than when I grew up in the mid 60s and early 70s. This girl chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It sucks.

[Guest Farnsbarns]

Bullying at school, or in the park, or at work is terrible but has always happened and, to some degree, is part of growing up. I just don't understand how someone can allow themselves to by bullied on line. I was bullied at school, just like everyone else, I hated it and there was no where to go. Now, if I log in to Facebook, twitter, a forum or anything else and get bullied I can stop that happenening at the touch of a button. I think the media frenzy around cyber bullying is a case of reporting what sells papers. I don't think it is anywhere near as big of a problem as the headlines make it out to be. I think these kids who feel they need to take their own lives have much more serious underlying problems (the inability to walk away from this, that or the other social network for starters) I think these kids feel the need to find 'friends' on line because they haven't been given the tools they need to make friends or even exist in the real world. I think that is the real problem. The solution isn't closing websites or prosecuting owners, it's with the parents, communities, teachers and schools.

 

Kids also grow up in a world where being offended is treated like a terrible thing no one should go through. The fact is that if I say something that offends you, you sleep on it and you've forgotten it the next day. You won't wake up with a missing limb, or having contracted some desease. Nothing happens, be offended, get over it and get on. Until get to the end of this idea that society ought to be able to exist, with all the different people, and no one should ever say or do anything that might offend the others, we will be creating needy, emotionally stunted children and teenagers and these kids go through a world of pain when reality dawns on them in early adulthood.

[moparguy]

Bullying at school, or I'm the park, or at work is terrible but has always happened and, to some degree, is part of growing up. I just don't understand how someone can allow themselves to by bullied on line. I was bullied at school, just like everyone else, I hated it and there was no where to go. Now, if I log in to Facebook, twitter, a forum or anything else and get bullied I can stop that happenening at the touch of a button. I think the media frenzy around cyber bullying is a case of reporting what sells papers. I don't think it is anywhere near as big of a problem the headlines make it out to be. I think these kids who feel they need to take their own lives have much more serious underlying problems (the inability to walk away from this, that or the other social network for starters) I think these kids feel the need to find 'friends' on line because they haven't been given the tools they need to make friends or even exist in the real world. I think that is the real problem. The solution isn't closing websites or prosecuting owners, it's with the parents, communities, teachers and schools. Kids also grow up in a world wherebeing offended is treated like a terrible thing no one should go through. The fact is that if I say something that offends you, you sleep on it and you've forgotten it the next day. You won't wake up with a missing limb, or having contracted some desease. Nothing happens, be offended, get over it and get on. Until get to the end of this idea that society ought to be able to exist, with all the different people, and no one should ever say or do anything that might offend the others, we will be creating needy, emotionally stunted children and teenagers and these kids go through a world of pain when reality dawns on them in early adulthood.

Couldn't have been said any better

[charlie brown]

What you say, Farns, is true, to an extent. They don't get the social skills,

partially because they spend entirely too much time, on-line, and not out in the

real world. The computer IS "their" real world, all too often. I see that, even

here in my very small little farming community, in Kansas. At their age, in my

day, we were outside, even with our friends, being "social," and learning both

mentally, and physically, how to interact with one another, what our limits were,

AND the consequences (up close and personal) to those limits, or actions. You

can't really get that, "on line." Some of the parental, and educator's tools, have

been legislated away. Although, some of it is either parents not being there,

due to both working, all the time, to maintain their "lifestyle" at times, or

for less fortunate (salary wise) just to makes ends meet! In other cases, kids

are totally unloved, and neglected, with TV and the computer, becoming not only

their "friends" but their babysitters, as well. Often, without any oversight as

to content, at all! So, of course they grow up, not knowing social skills, or even

"limits!" Teachers are very restricted (compared to my generation) as to disciplinary

methods, they can use, as are parents, as well. What we were commonly raised with,

is now often considered "abuse!" In extreme cases, it might have been, back then.

BUT, only in the extreme. For the most part, it didn't hurt us, physically, beyond

the initial "sting," or psychologically, at all! But, it did teach boundries, and

consequences. Something that's sorely lacking, today. In my generation, and those

previous, a whole community, raised a child! Now, not even the parents seem to do

that, as effectively, as they once did. We've legislated away from community based

interactions, and gone more toward individual. That's not good, overall! Even as

a kid, I either knew, personally, or new of, everyone in my little town. Now, kids

(and growups alike) often don't even know some of their neighbors names, much less

anything about them.

 

Even so, it's easy, to blame "the parents" and teachers, etc....but, society at large, is

as much to blame, as any one group...IMHO. Maybe, even especially those who have no children,

(nor want any), as they themselves, often have no "skills" to deal with young, still learning,

minds, with their hubris egos, and/or a willingness to get involved, with them, to help teach

them. It's easier, for them to pass laws (good or bad), to take care of the problem(s). I see

"parents" all day long, in various situations, that are on cell phones, tablets, computers,

as much, if not more, than their kids! Actually "shushing" their kids, so they can finish

some trivial (judging by what I overhear) conversation that really isn't necessary to be

carried out, "right then!" Even to the point of ignoring a kid, that's in need of a bathroom,

"right now," or some other real "emergency," even if it's not life threatening, in any way.

Since when, did a recipe, or some gossip tidbit, become more important, than a child's immediate

need? Some of that, of course, IS based on past experience, with the child...but, a lot of

it, is simple neglect, over misplaced priorities.

 

CB