rocketman Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Here's hoping you have a holiday ball and that under your tree you find a '59 Les Paul! So here's a little joke. AXE, Thundergod and I were in high school together. On one particular day I was sent to the principal's office for saying something bad in class. In the waiting room I see AXE and Thundergod waiting to see the principal too. I asked AXE about what he did. He said "well I said the 's' word and got sent here." Thundergod said "well I said the 'f' word and got sent here." Then they asked me about what I did. I told them that I said something much worse than both of them. I said..."Merry Christmas." (he he he)
rocketman Posted December 24, 2008 Author Posted December 24, 2008 ????? i dont get it. Hmm' date=' that's actually nice that people aren't getting that joke. Hopefully this email thread will help you.
SRV-Zeppelin Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 You want politically correct? Try this analysis of politics: DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital. POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one. NEW YORK CORPORATION You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Homz Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 Here's hoping you have a holiday ball and that under your tree you find a '59 Les Paul! So here's a little joke. AXE' date=' Thundergod and I were in high school together. On one particular day I was sent to the principal's office for saying something bad in class. In the waiting room I see AXE and Thundergod waiting to see the principal too. I asked AXE about what he did. He said "well I said the 's' word and got sent here." Thundergod said "well I said the 'f' word and got sent here." Then they asked me about what I did. I told them that I said something much worse than both of them. I said..."Merry Christmas." (he he he)[/quote'] Perhaps Rocketman's attempt at humor was more funny then first observed by the joke its self. Let's face it Rocketman has never been to the principles office. Axe if at school at all was in the principles office more then he was in class. Not for saying the "f" word either. He was there for cracking some nerd over the head and taking his lunch money. Thunder was in the principles office for lude and indecent behavior. He was constantly whipping it out to show every one, his was the biggest and the best. The really funny part of the joke is that anyone would believe you would be sent to the office for wishing someone a merry christmas.
Guitar slinger Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 He was constantly whipping it out to show every one' date=' his was the biggest and the best. [/quote'] LMFAO!!!! Not only it has to be the bigm but also... the BEST, hahahahha that was a good one.
GingerSG Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 You want politically correct? Try this analysis of politics: FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good. Did you hurt that nail, cuz you just hit it on the head my friend!
littlekenny Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 You want politically correct? Try this analysis of politics: JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan' date=' which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They send radio tapes of their mooing.[/quote'] LMAO=d>
SRV-Zeppelin Posted December 24, 2008 Posted December 24, 2008 SRV' date=' that was great....... Murph.[/quote'] Thanks, Murph! Always happy to make someone laugh during the holidays.
rocketman Posted December 25, 2008 Author Posted December 25, 2008 Perhaps Rocketman's attempt at humor was more funny then first observed by the joke its self. Let's face it Rocketman has never been to the principles office. Axe if at school at all was in the principles office more then he was in class. Not for saying the "f" word either. He was there for cracking some nerd over the head and taking his lunch money. Thunder was in the principles office for lude and indecent behavior. He was constantly whipping it out to show every one' date=' his was the biggest and the best. The really funny part of the joke is that anyone would believe you would be sent to the office for wishing someone a merry christmas. [/quote'] OK, you got me...this geek was never called to the principal's office. So it was AXE who was cracking my head and taking my lunch money. Well, the good news is that I'm no longer that High School Geek anymore...yep I'm proud to state that I'm a Professional Geek now!!!
:oilpit: Posted December 25, 2008 Posted December 25, 2008 "happy holidays" and "seasons greetings" SUCK If I know a jewish dude, I say happy chanuka (Spelling?) If I know a christian guy (or anyone who celebrates xmas) I say merry christmas And really how offended is a jew if they hear someone wish them a merry christmas anyway... funny stuff
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