bad band splits

[saturn]

I didn't want to hijack Awel's thread, so I figured I'd start a new one. I'll start:

 

The first band I was ever in, started as just a few friends getting together to jam for fun. We eventually ended up with a 6 piece band and had a few small gigs. I'm leaving out many details because I don't feel like writing 3 paragraphs and you all probably don't want to read them. Anyway our band just kind of fizzled out. There was no big breakup or anything and no hard feelings. (we thought) A few months later the original core of 4 of us started to gradually get together again to jam, but made a decision that we wanted to keep it small. We didn't try to sneak or hide it from the others. We ended up getting a gig without even trying. It came to us. After we played it with just the 4 of us, I got a letter in the mail a few days later. It was from one of the old members and it was really scary! It was written in colored crayon and looked as if he was holding the crayon like a knife when he was writing. It was full of expletives and bordered on threatening. I ended up calling the guy and smoothed things over. I think he actually was embarrassed at his over reaction and we ended up friends again. But I learned a lesson. Some people take things way more serious than I do and I try to keep that in mind ever since.

 

Post some of your stories.

[kidblast]

never really had any big explosions that ended things... most of the time they were mutual decisions reached by everyone ("maybe it's time to do something else")

 

the only one I can think of that ended badly... got into a cover band with a lot of people who were not only musically involved, but also friends. Everything was cool for a while, but as things went on, it was clear one of the guys wasn't working out.

 

there would be a lot of complaining before he'd arrive for rehearsals, and more jawing after he'd leave. (and to be fair, I tried to stay out of that, he was a friend, and I'm not into talking trash about people. But a lot of it was deserved, he was hard to work with and he was holding us back) So I called him out on it, "look man, ppl aren't happy, we've got issues.. everyone is *****ing about this, no one has the bawls to tell you so I will..."

 

I was really trying to be constructive, (I had known him the longest, and figured if anyone could get thru to him, it would most likely be me). how wrong I was.

 

to this day -- some 15 years later, he still says that I kicked him out and I'm a back stabbing pr*ck.. (no one kicked him, he just took offense to the situation and left) what ever... I guess we're still friends, but I know it's never been the same. I probably should have shut up and let the band implode,..

[awel]

Except the last one ... none ... should I add 'luckily' ;)

[capmaster]

Well, I think it also depends on running a cover band or a creative band. Splitting up a creative group caused dropping a big share of the songs each time. I only went on using those I wrote all by myself later which has been and still is a question of honour for me. Even substituting just one of four or five band members was not that easy due to the one's creative contributions.

 

I never experienced a bad split of a cover band up to now, and replacing members has never been a real problem until today. None of my cover bands ever parted with one, they just left for any reason.

[deeman]

I was (and sort of am still) in a band that started in 2002 while all of us were still in highschool. We were friends prior to starting the band. We had a good run for about 6 years. We put out a few EP's and LP's and played hundreds of shows in many states.

 

By 2010 4 of the 5 of us were working full time and saw the band as more of a hobby and realized our chances of 'making it' had passed us by. Our singer on the other hand was working part time at starbucks trying to keep the dream alive. He became obnoxious and frankly he wasn't that good a singer. We decided we would kick him out.

 

When we broke the news, we did it in a way that we thought was appropriate and told him that it wasn't personal, we were just growing apart creatively and we had different plans for the future.

 

Of course he took it totally personally and I still haven't spoken to him to this day. He posted a diatribe on facebook stating that we aren't his friends anymore and we were terrible people and 'unfriended' all of us on facebook. It's kind of a bummer that he reacted like that because he was definitely one of my best friends and I do miss him.

[kidblast]

It's kind of a bummer that he reacted like that because he was definitely one of my best friends and I do miss him.

 

yep DeeMan I could have wrote that exact same sentiment.

 

I swear, the best option is to get into a band with people you are not friends with, then it's all business, but way less fun.

[duane v]

when I was in my teens, certainly there was more emotion and confrontation. But now that I'm older and the people i jam with are older, we know exactly what we are looking for, and there is less at stake because we all have other jobs. I've been fortunate for the most part in being involved with bands that started from the ground up, so the collective vision was already in place.

[milod]

I think Duane pretty well nailed it, though.

 

As we age but still wanna play out, whether full or part time, we're more realistic as to what we're doing and get into or leave a band according to more mature expectations.

 

The most money I made pickin' after expenses was in a two-bit country house band trio. No real travel expenses, three grownups (although the other two may have added more booze than they should of an evening, although it almost never damaged their playing), we went to work on time, played with some cheat sheets but with a huge book that made audiences happy, and we had all the required equipment for what we were doing. Perhaps better, no hours of setup or tear-down. We were friends, but not buddies, if that makes sense. It worked quite well for quite a while until it became obvious to all that I simply couldn't keep going due to other "stuff" mostly around work - and we closed down professionally with the "house."

 

My first band breakup came when two of the six involved were graduated from high school and left. No big deal. Dunno what the other four did the next year.

 

The second came with a complete difference of lifestyle and book. I had a good part-time job that quickly evolved into a full time "grownup" job. The others were still living a college lifestyle and wanted to change from the "hard rock" we'd been doing to a more soul-showband type of thing.

 

Frankly on that one, my getting out was the best thing for all of us, but at our ages, it wasn't done very well and seemed more than a little dishonest. That led to a less "good friends" ongoing relationship. Yet, again putting it as frankly as I can, the difference in evolving personal lifestyles probably would necessarily have led to the same long-term conclusion.

 

After that band, breakups were a matter more of general agreement that enough of us weren't enjoying or having time for the band as it was, and it was an amicable breakup. Or guys moving on to other jobs, other towns, other lives.

 

m

[Rabs]

I was only in one serious band when I was about 20 odd for about 3 years...

 

Two of the band members I went to school with and all of us went to the same college. So I knew these guys really well.

 

Now it wasn't a bad split as such just very upsetting for me as I was so serious about it, and we all were to a point, but then real life got in the way.. The singer and the other guitarist went off to University in another part of the country which is really what killed it even though in saying that those two started having some really odd ideas about the sort of music we were playing by the end.

 

After that I tried a few things with the drummer including a jam with two professionally trained violin players (that was an odd jam but challenging).. and I tried jamming with a few other bands but never really clicked with any of them... And then my own career got in the way of me doing anything else with my life.. so it just all ended..

 

And its sad cos I think we were really good.. We wrote all our own material and had a really nice mix of styles of music... Its just one of those things that I always think "what if".. and it pretty much ended my live playing days.

 

Oh well.

[LarryUK]

In my second band (72) there were two brothers that constantly fought.I do mean fight too. The one threw his SG threw their lounge window, The other threw his Rickenbacker bass across the room. Then it was punching. The drummer and I eventually got sick of it and left. It was a good band. But what's the point?

[kidblast]

In my second band (72) there were two brothers that constantly fought.I do mean fight too. The one threw his SG threw their lounge window, The other threw his Rickenbacker bass across the room. Then it was punching. The drummer and I eventually got sick of it and left. It was a good band. But what's the point?

 

a few anger management seminars could have gone a long way here...

 

this story tho.. (with thee guys {you wold call them blokes right} tossing guitars out windows and such)

 

reminds me: one after noon the kid that was playing bass in a cover band I was in (this was long long ago,, was still in High school) got pissed when his mom called him upstairs for something,

 

tossed his bass (a tri-burst Fender Jazz) across the room and it landed in the case - which was on the floor, (and it landed in the case perfectly I might add) and the cover closed. we all laughed so hard I nearly soiled myself... "Nice shot Ron!"

[deeman]

tossed his bass (a tri-burst Fender Jazz) across the room and it landed in the case - which was on the floor, (and it landed in the case perfectly I might add) and the cover closed. we all laughed so hard I nearly soiled myself... "Nice shot Ron!"

 

Holy Cow! What a moment. As the story started i was waiting for 'he tossed his bass across the room and hit his mother in the face then landed and the neck snapped in half.' Franky your story is way more impressive!

[kidblast]

Holy Cow! What a moment. As the story started i was waiting for 'he tossed his bass across the room and hit his mother in the face then landed and the neck snapped in half.' Franky your story is way more impressive!

 

ha! Too funny deeman, the guy did have a tendency to go off with out much notice, but the flying bass thing was an isolated incident, I think he knew he got real lucky. it was like something you'd see in a stooges clip or cartoon. freaky...

[capmaster]

... tossed his bass (a tri-burst Fender Jazz) across the room and it landed in the case - which was on the floor, (and it landed in the case perfectly I might add) and the cover closed. we all laughed so hard I nearly soiled myself... "Nice shot Ron!"

Awesome - wouldn't have worked on purpose I guess!

[kidblast]

not in 10 million tries.

[charlie brown]

All the band "breakups" I've been involved with were quite amicable,

save One! Ironically, it was the "best" band, overall musicaianship

wise, I've ever been in. But, the bass player and I (probably mostly

me, to be "frank and honest"), weren't into drugs, as "a lifestyle," and

our music, becoming a hobby. We were just the opposit, with even

less interest in "drugs," at all. There was never any "explosion," really...

I just decided to leave, after one particularly bad gig, due to those drug

related problems, and (unfortunately, for them) I owned the "bank note" that

we had on all the amp and PA equipment. But, I think for them, my departure,

along with all that "Grear," was a relief! The saddest part, for me, was that

Aside, from the "Drug" problem, we all got along very well. But, it became

intolerable, after awhile, because 2 of them, in particular, started showing

up VERY "Stoned," for gigs, over and over again!

 

We did remain "friendly," but I wouldn't say we were really "Friends," any

longer. The bass player IS, however, still one of my best friends, some 40+

years later, and always has been.

 

After that experience, I never actually trusted "band" situations, much, anymore!

Sad, maybe, but for me it was just being "realistic." Hence, now I play with

folks, where I have lesser "expectations," band wise, and (maybe) being somewhat

more realistic, in the ones I do have.

 

CB