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flyingfrets

Awww...damn

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msp_thumbup.gifThat is the best news I've heard from you Don. Glad the doctor found the problem. Your strength will come back, it takes time though. Just thought I'd check in and see how you were. Still praying.

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An extra portion of grace and healing and mercy for your life.

Indeed, may grace, mercy and healing pour over you like rivers of living water.

Look forward to every sunrise, knowing more will follow.

Todd

This.

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Sorry to be late to this thread, Don. My prayers are headed your way.. I wish and pray nothing but the very best for you. God Bless you and start kicking its ***.

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hello, Fellow Babies, and especially flyingfrets,

Been awhile, but I have been checking in and reading.

I am so sorry to hear, flyingfrets, that you are suffering. You have already

endured a lot pain and stress caused by multiple surgeries and chemo.

I am a giant chicken-sht, and everyone at the local hospital knows this.

I've never willingly gone to any hospital procedure without hanging onto door frames, kicking, and screaming -- even for some fairly simple, non-invasive stuff.

I hate visiting my cardiologist because * the waiting room has a closed circuit TV that continuously runs a tape of all the heart diseases. I can't ignore this, and it freaks me out. I'm already badly depressed when I arrive. Just what I need, more heart diseases to think about. They're damn lucky they haven't yet had to call the police to get me in off the ledge… They really should consider handing out Valium at the door.

 

But first a word about "panic attacks". I wish I could tell you that I have total control over my own fears, that I conquered them by the power of my will.

Nope. The several panic attacks I have had were ** much worse ** than the real stroke. And it wasn't until the ambulance had taken me to the emergency room three times, where they monitored and tested -- and the next morning they released me with the news that all my tests showed no change and that I had not had another stroke or anything. Three times and $7000.00 later I resolved that I would never call the ambulance until I could see a white light and hear the voices of my relatives callying me. I didn't conquer any fears, I'm a major tight-wad.

 

Even though we may not understand the specifics of your problems, we understand that you are hurting badly. You have legitimate fears, you need never apologize to anyone. Just wanted you to know there are a lot of people here who sympathize and wish you the best.

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FF, I've lost track of this post, but, I caught up today.

 

you've been on one h e l l of a ride my friend.

 

I hope the support from the GREAT people on this forum are helping you in ways you don't even know about yet.

 

Nothing but the best to you from here on out brother...

 

/Ray

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Well, I'm 5 days into a radiation cycle on my left hip (after 10 days on the lumbar spine from T12 thru S2 as an inpatient). 10 more to go on the hip then we move on to the 3 sites in the thoracic spine and I believe 2 in the cervical spine.

 

Maybe I should change my screen name to "Lightning Bug" cause you'll surely see my A $ $ glowing in the dark by the time they're done with me! [flapper]

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Well, I'm 5 days into a radiation cycle on my left hip (after 10 days on the lumbar spine from T12 thru S2 as an inpatient). 10 more to go on the hip then we move on to the 3 sites in the thoracic spine and I believe 2 in the cervical spine.

 

Maybe I should change my screen name to "Lightning Bug" cause you'll surely see my A $ $ glowing in the dark by the time they're done with me! [flapper]

I thought I saw a strange glow in the sky last night while I was riding my motorcycle.

Seriously, a good attitude and sense of humor will help a bunch. I'll keep my eyes pealed for another glow [biggrin]. Prayers & good vibes.

TC

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Hi Don, it's good to hear from you. [thumbup] Keep fighting the cancer. It's good to see your sense of humour shine through.

Last night I was sitting in the garden looking up at the stars. I live in the countryside and am blessed for beautiful starry nights. Anyway I saw 3 shooting stars and I thought of you. So I did what you have to do when you see a shooting star. So I'm sending vibes, prayers and a shooting star wish your way.

 

kind regards, Emma:)

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Hi Don, it's good to hear from you. [thumbup] Keep fighting the cancer. It's good to see your sense of humour shine through.

Last night I was sitting in the garden looking up at the stars. I live in the countryside and am blessed for beautiful starry nights. Anyway I saw 3 shooting stars and I thought of you. So I did what you have to do when you see a shooting star. So I'm sending vibes, prayers and a shooting star wish your way.

 

kind regards, Emma:)

 

I think this is the coolest, most empathetic internet forum post I have ever seen. Emma, just awesome.

 

I thought about it, I live in a rural spot with stars, still mostly dimmed by the lights of Los Angeles, but I witnessed an amazing shooting star about 2 weeks ago. Sped across the entire sky from West to East. I wished at that time for a pleasant journey for my wife (she's moved to Missouri for a year to do her internship). She gets a lot of my good wishes daily and even shooting stars which happen maybe once a quarter? I want to redirect it to Don with the hopes that you have many more years and there is a complete turnaround of your cancer.

 

You go for it dude!

 

Phillip

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1439838212[/url]' post='1685922']

Well, I'm 5 days into a radiation cycle on my left hip (after 10 days on the lumbar spine from T12 thru S2 as an inpatient). 10 more to go on the hip then we move on to the 3 sites in the thoracic spine and I believe 2 in the cervical spine.

 

Maybe I should change my screen name to "Lightning Bug" cause you'll surely see my A $ $ glowing in the dark by the time they're done with me! [flapper]

 

How is your bone marrow FF? Have the doctors ever taken a sample? Keep up the good spirits.

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To this point, no. They do check my blood chemistry frequently and from that, they get a pretty good idea what's going on in the marrow. Yes, I am aware that all the radiation may eventually result in other cancers in the bone marrow, but I'm told that could take upwards of 20 years. I guess they figure the immediate benefits outweigh the long-term risks. Will I even be here in 20 years?

 

Both oncologists and my GP have been asking "why are you still working?" and being a state government employee, there were a lot of reasons (insurance & income to mention two of the most basic), but one of my staff reps (I am also one of the VPs for the union local) and I are putting together the information and documents to notify the state that I am retiring effective October first. Its all gotten to be a bit too much for me to manage anymore and I recognize my own limitations. It'll be nice not having to sweat them throwing fits about the medical leaves. I don't know where they think I'm coming from, but trust me, I'd rather be in the office than fighting cancer, but that seems to escape them.

 

Off to radiation for now. Take care all...

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Thanks again to everyone for checking in & checking up on me!

 

Still in the hospital though (who-hoo :( ).

 

Butch, I have to say, aside from some fatigue, I've tolerated radiation pretty well. I know they've been able to greatly curtail the effects with the more precise delivery in recent years (Varian Technology, Cyber-knife, etc) and mitigating some of it with other meds, so on that front I've been extremely lucky. Chemo was considerably more grueling, and it failed anyway.

 

The radiation at least kills the metastatic cells, but they keep creeping in somewhere else, so when I get out of here, I need to explore other options. Thinking of going to one of the teaching hospitals near me, like Penn or Cooper where they're using some really cutting edge procedures and see if any of them are viable for me.

 

Trying to remain steadfast and true to course, but as I'm sure you know, at this point, the journey indeed grows weary...

Try not to let the weariness grind you down and weaken your resolve. You sound like a very strong person, and I admire you for your stoic endurance. Really wish you all the best, friend, and my heart and hope go out to you in these extremely difficult times. [thumbup]

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Hi Don, just checking in to see how you are. I'm sorry I haven't posted here for sometime, but you have remained constant in my thoughts and prayers.

I hope the treatment is going well. Stay strong we are all sending strong vibes to help you fight the cancer.

 

kind regards, Emma :)

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Hello all!

 

Again, thanks for the thoughts and prayers. Just an update...

 

Began narrow field, high dose radiation at the T7 vertebrae (slightly above dead center between the shoulder blades) last Tuesday. Was thankful that was the next area scheduled for treatment because I'd noticed (particularly when driving) that when I leaned against the seat back, I could actually feel swelling. Not sure if it was expansion in the bone just prior to another compression fracture, or if it was just inflammation in the affected area, but it was awfully uncomfortable. The pain radiating from it spread across the upper back and into the shoulder sockets themselves, so moving had become pretty painful.

 

Since radiation began, the pain has been excruciating. I can't tell if the bone finally fractured, but immediately after treatment, it feels kike someone holding a blow-torch to my upper spine coupled with pinched nerves on both sides. Literally takes my breath away if I move certain ways, so they're throwing more pain-killers at it (40 mg oxycontin 2X a day, 20 mg oxycodone every 4 hours for break-through pain, flexeril for muscle spasms and Decadron, a steroid for inflammation). Folks are amazed that I can even stand up let alone function, but I gotta do what I gotta do and I can't let pain or medication stand in my way.

 

2 more treatments left on T7 before they move down to T11 and while they're exceedingly painful, I just try to visualize the radiation killing the cancer cells and the pain becomes a little more bearable.

 

Returning to work on Tuesday to tie up some loose ends and get a new shop steward trained and up to speed before I go into medical retirement on October first. In some ways, I'm looking forward to the cessation of battling with central office management, but I will miss my colleagues and co-workers.

 

All things considered though, I think I'm ready to get out of there.

 

God bless all...

Don

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Sorry to hear you are in so much pain. Be careful with those meds.

If you are able to eat much, get all the fiber you can and stay hydrated.

 

Praying to Yahaveh Ropheka that "this too shall pass" for you.

If ever I was in need of it, I only hope I could summon an ounce of your strength and courage.

 

Ed

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