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A song I have written


Lars68

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Here is an improved recording of a song I posted about a week ago (asking if I unintentionally had stolen the tune, because it sounded so familar. Gladly no one thought so!). I'm still trying to improve on it, but I 'm kind of stuck right now. So I think I will leave it like this for now and try to do another. I have plenty ideas running around in my head.

 

As always, suggestions for improvements are welcome. My singinging is coming around slowly, slowly.

 

https://soundcloud.com/lars1968/way-up-on-the-hill-new-version

 

Lars

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Keep going man... Improved and the lyrics are real nice.

One comment I have when writing songs... And actually DuluthDan is the guy here who gave me this advice... Sometimes less is more... As in packing less syllables per line. Can you economize syllables and still keep meaning? Anyhow he helped me improve a few of my songs that way.

 

 

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I really liked the way you said that Sal. Great advice DuluthDan gave you..

 

Thanks guys, I apreciate the advice and will keep it in mind when attempting a new song.

 

Sal, if you don't mind, could you give me some specifics on what you think is improved? It might help me pick out what to focus on. Like the other songs, I played and sang this one to the same track. So I intentionally kept the guitar extremely basic so I could focus on the singing. Singing is my biggest weakness.

 

Lars

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I don't have any problem with your voice/how-you-sound. You sound like a lot other folksingers with their own sound and that is fine. I think you're way-too-hard-on-yourself. I guess I'm just not sure what you're expecting "yourself" to sound like. Much of how we sing revolves around the kind of song being sung. There's nothing wrong with your voice. One doesn't have to be capable of singing opera to sound good. Personally, I don't hear much difference between this rendition and your previous rendition. In fact, I thought the first one sounded fine. Somewhere along the line those of us who are not professional singers but still sing reach a point where we forget about sounding like some legendary performer and we finally start accepting our voice for what it is. It's who we are..........and as stated so well above----whatever you say, try to say it with fewer words. I learned that years ago and I still struggle with it at times. If you can say the same thing in 4 words that you're now using 6 words to say, use 4 words....And keep writing. It sounds good. [thumbup] [thumbup]

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I don't have any problem with your voice/how-you-sound. You sound like a lot other folksingers with their own sound and that is fine. I think you're way-too-hard-on-yourself. I guess I'm just not sure what you're expecting "yourself" to sound like. Much of how we sing revolves around the kind of song being sung. There's nothing wrong with your voice. One doesn't have to be capable of singing opera to sound good. Personally, I don't hear much difference between this rendition and your previous rendition. In fact, I thought the first one sounded fine. Somewhere along the line those of us who are not professional singers but still sing reach a point where we forget about sounding like some legendary performer and we finally start accepting our voice for what it is. It's who we are..........and as stated so well above----whatever you say, try to say it with fewer words. I learned that years ago and I still struggle with it at times. If you can say the same thing in 4 words that you're now using 6 words to say, use 4 words....And keep writing. It sounds good. [thumbup] [thumbup]

 

 

Thanks a bunch for the kind words!!!

 

My main concern with my singing is not how my voice sounds. I'm ok with that, just like you said, that is me. My main issue is not being able to consistently sing in tune (within a song, as well as from take to take). The takes I post are not very representative of how my averge take sounds...

 

Oh, and yes the version I posted above is probably about the same as the previous one. What I meant by "better recording" was only that the last one was recorded with an external mic, while the first one used the built in iPad mic and sounded a little crude.

 

I might come across as hard on myself in my posts, but I think I'm just very enthusiastic and eager to improve. I love my recent discovery of songwriting. It brings a whole new angle to the hobby of guitar playing. With just playing, I was kind of stuck. I felt it was hard to improve. Now with writing, playing skills are sort of secondary, and the basic guitar skills I have managed to accumulate over the years are actually enough to work well enough with my songs. I have found a totally new avenue for expression and I encourage anybody who haven't tried songwriting to give it a go.

 

Lars

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Thanks a bunch for the kind words!!!

 

My main concern with my singing is not how my voice sounds. I'm ok with that, just like you said, that is me. My main issue is not being able to consistently sing in tune (within a song, as well as from take to take). The takes I post are not very representative of how my averge take sounds...

 

Oh, and yes the version I posted above is probably about the same as the previous one. What I meant by "better recording" was only that the last one was recorded with an external mic, while the first one used the built in iPad mic and sounded a little crude.

 

I might come across as hard on myself in my posts, but I think I'm just very enthusiastic and eager to improve. I love my recent discovery of songwriting. It brings a whole new angle to the hobby of guitar playing. With just playing, I was kind of stuck. I felt it was hard to improve. Now with writing, playing skills are sort of secondary, and the basic guitar skills I have managed to accumulate over the years are actually enough to work well enough with my songs. I have found a totally new avenue for expression and I encourage anybody who haven't tried songwriting to give it a go.

 

Lars

 

 

Lars,

I said in another post to you a while back that "We are our own worst critics". Keep on going, your doing great.

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