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Got out of hospital last week and returning back next week for my Knee, thanks to all for your prayers and thoughts.

 

4H

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Where do I start...about 9 years ago I had a shoulder operation and it financially broke me (self employed). I eventually entered an IVA (look it up). Plus my kids were both into drugs and drink and dragged me to the pits of despair. The women I've been with have all been selfish and utter c***s. The only stable thing I've had have been my dogs. All of this sent me into a deep depression and eventually anxiety and panic attacks followed with suicidal thoughts. I've spoke about this on here before. Then I lost my dad and my dog Ellie in the same year two years ago. Since then I can't cope any more. I can only work a few hours a day as I sweat profusely and the panic sets in. The latest worry is that Government are going to cut tax credits and I'll be severely hit as I depend on them. All of this is getting too much and the suicide thoughts are raging in my head again. I've just been working for a teacher that has been through a bad time and she's my perfect women. But I could never even attempt to date her ( she most likely wouldn't any how). I've had help with counselling and a psychiatrist, but that has ended through government cuts. So. Where do I go and what do I do? I took a hose pipe a few years back with my dog. I drove to a lay by and was going to do it then. In all honesty, I wish I had as life has been even worse since. I suppose I'm waffling now. But depression etc is a terrible thing and it helps to talk and pour it out.

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Where do I start...about 9 years ago I had a shoulder operation and it financially broke me (self employed). I eventually entered an IVA (look it up). Plus my kids were both into drugs and drink and dragged me to the pits of despair. The women I've been with have all been selfish and utter c***s. The only stable thing I've had have been my dogs. All of this sent me into a deep depression and eventually anxiety and panic attacks followed with suicidal thoughts. I've spoke about this on here before. Then I lost my dad and my dog Ellie in the same year two years ago. Since then I can't cope any more. I can only work a few hours a day as I sweat profusely and the panic sets in. The latest worry is that Government are going to cut tax credits and I'll be severely hit as I depend on them. All of this is getting too much and the suicide thoughts are raging in my head again. I've just been working for a teacher that has been through a bad time and she's my perfect women. But I could never even attempt to date her ( she most likely wouldn't any how). I've had help with counselling and a psychiatrist, but that has ended through government cuts. So. Where do I go and what do I do? I took a hose pipe a few years back with my dog. I drove to a lay by and was going to do it then. In all honesty, I wish I had as life has been even worse since. I suppose I'm waffling now. But depression etc is a terrible thing and it helps to talk and pour it out.

Move or what ever it takes and start over I wish you the best my friend

 

4H

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Where do I start...about 9 years ago I had a shoulder operation and it financially broke me (self employed). I eventually entered an IVA (look it up). Plus my kids were both into drugs and drink and dragged me to the pits of despair. The women I've been with have all been selfish and utter c***s. The only stable thing I've had have been my dogs. All of this sent me into a deep depression and eventually anxiety and panic attacks followed with suicidal thoughts. I've spoke about this on here before. Then I lost my dad and my dog Ellie in the same year two years ago. Since then I can't cope any more. I can only work a few hours a day as I sweat profusely and the panic sets in. The latest worry is that Government are going to cut tax credits and I'll be severely hit as I depend on them. All of this is getting too much and the suicide thoughts are raging in my head again. I've just been working for a teacher that has been through a bad time and she's my perfect women. But I could never even attempt to date her ( she most likely wouldn't any how). I've had help with counselling and a psychiatrist, but that has ended through government cuts. So. Where do I go and what do I do? I took a hose pipe a few years back with my dog. I drove to a lay by and was going to do it then. In all honesty, I wish I had as life has been even worse since. I suppose I'm waffling now. But depression etc is a terrible thing and it helps to talk and pour it out.

 

I'm so sorry for the trouble that you are having. But PLEASE, PLEASE, if those thoughts cross your mind call a friend or (if available in the UK) a Suicide/Crisis Hotline! There is NOTHING on this earth worth taking your life! You have friends here who care about you and the loss of your friendship and support would devastate us! Even though you are not romantically linked to the woman you mentioned, I am sure that your loss would hurt her as well. Try to find things to divert your mind from the things that trouble you: have a song you've always wanted to learn how to play? That's the time to do it! Take a walk to clear your head, learn a new hobby, take up fishing - anything to escape the bad thoughts! Just please hold on for one more day, then after that try to hang on for that day too. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. The past is done, you can't replay it and the future isn't here yet so focus on today - this second, this minute, this hour. And when you feel overwhelmed reach out for help because you're not alone!

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Let's get extra prayers out to Hayden & iashurst!!!

 

Best wishes for the knee & great outcome Hayden. iashurst, Depression is a rough go for sure. But I agree, even when I had passing thoughts like that from the intense pain, both physical & emotional, NOTHING WAS BAD ENOUGH to give on life. My motto is "eternity" is a LONG TIME and I'm not in a hurry to leave here even though it will be okay. We all have things yet to learn here, and also, just when I thought it was NEVER going to get better, IT DID. Hang in there Bro!!!! [thumbup] Also, make sure you aren't doing ANYTHING to add power to the depression. I've had friends, esp. female ones, that were on strong antidepressants and drinking 2 glasses of wine every night. Not a good thing!!!

 

God Bless both of you!!!

 

 

Updated prayers & good Vibes list:

 

Bender for Life (Heart & other issues)

4Hayden Knee Surgery

Milod & Carla (Stay on the mending path)

Capmaster

Flyingfrets

Digger & Daughter Kellie (needing prayers)

SteveFord (Sinus issue needing Healing)

Marky Forrest

canon_mutant

hpharley90 (Heart recovery)

Dub-T-123 (Father & Brother Loss)

lashurst (Overall Depression, Health & Brothers Heart-Trip)

Hawksman (chemo & Cancer recovery)

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Lashurst,

You are not alone. Depression is a secret illness that stalks our society.

Nearly 20% of the population suffer depression at some time in their life. Much of it undiagnosed and the people struggle on in isolation because we are brought up to believe that it is weakness. Thoughts of suicide are considered cowardice, when all one wants is for the torment and pain to stop.

 

I've been there. It is bad, but nothing is that bad. Hang on. Life will get better. Believe me, it does.

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Got out of hospital last week and returning back next week for my Knee, thanks to all for your prayers and thoughts.

 

4H

Hi 4Hayden, it's good to see you posting here on the forum. I send my prayers to you for healing.

 

kind regards, Emma :)

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Hi 4Hayden, it's good to see you posting here on the forum. I send my prayers to you for healing.

 

kind regards, Emma :)

Thank you Emma means more than you know

 

4H

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Hi 4Hayden, it's great to hear from you. Wishing you well and thinking of you with the next operation.

 

kind regards, Emma :)

You just became a close friend :)

 

4H

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Seeing the "Aw Damn..." Thread prompted me to look this thread up again.

It is easy to forget that life is not so easy for some of us just now.

Some members are getting better, and it would be good to hear from them.

Others continue with their health problems and are not to be forgotten.

Peace and strength to those in need.

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Updated list:

 

Updated prayers & good Vibes list:

 

Brad (loss of his father)

Bender for Life (Heart & other issues)

4Hayden

Milod & Carla

Capmaster

Flyingfrets

Digger & Daughter Kellie (needing prayers)

SteveFord

Marky Forrest

canon_mutant

hpharley90 (Heart recovery)

Dub-T-123 (Father & Brother Loss)

lashurst (Overall Health & Brothers Heart-Trip)

Hawksman (chemo & Cancer recovery)

 

All in our thoughts!!

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Haven't heard from FLYINGFRETS in a bit too long.

 

I put the question out on his thread, if anyone has any contact with him or loved ones, to please let us know or refer them here, so they can read what we have been saying, and hoping, and praying for.

 

I am remembering how touched ANIMALFARM's family was upon reading about him here.

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Stein's absolutely correct in referencing Animal Farm - who was exceptionally ill but still did a huge job in organizing the DIY section in the Epiphone Lounge that's now a bit hard to find, but offers huge opportunity to learn more about our guitars.

 

I think this set of forums, Gib/Epi is an incredible example for other forums in that folks here do care for each other, regardless of huge physical distances; and "prayer" and its associated "good vibes" does work, regardless not always as we might hope.

 

m

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I only know that there is nothing in the local paper about FlyingFrets, which is a terrible way to have to say it, but there it is.

 

rct

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Stein's absolutely correct in referencing Animal Farm - who was exceptionally ill but still did a huge job in organizing the DIY section in the Epiphone Lounge that's now a bit hard to find, but offers huge opportunity to learn more about our guitars.

 

I think this set of forums, Gib/Epi is an incredible example for other forums in that folks here do care for each other, regardless of huge physical distances; and "prayer" and its associated "good vibes" does work, regardless not always as we might hope.

 

m

 

 

Prayers and good vibes are just a way of showing that others care and that in itself makes a difference. It matters that others feel you are worthy of their concern.

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I've been wondering about flying frets for a long time now. Good luck with your knee 4H. How's your heart doing now? I just updated the list in my notebook so I don't forget the names and conditions to pray for. Hope everyone continues to improve.

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Well today will be my last day here till I get this knee done , hold things down

 

4H

 

 

Good luck with that 4H. I have a knee that needs doing too so will be interested in your experiences.

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