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This one, or that one?


Lars68

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I have been working really hard for the past two weeks, almost to the point of exhaustion. I have not had enough energy left to even touch a guitar during this time, but tonight I decided to give it a go again. I decided to play through a song I wrote a while back. I don't know if it was my general mood tonight and just being extremely tired, but I did the song so much slower and in a kind of mumbling style. Listening back to my recording, it changes the song very much, and I kind of like it more than the faster original approach.

 

Here is the old:

https://soundcloud.com/lars1968/over-and-over

 

And here is the new:

https://soundcloud.com/lars1968/over-and-over-slow-version

 

Which style is better for the song, you think? Either way the performances need a lot of work, just trying to figure out which way is best.

 

Lars

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Great song, Lars! Really captures the tedium and mindless rushing of everyday life.

 

As to your question, there really is no right answer. The first one is kind of a bouncy folk-pop tune; the second is a more mellow folk song. My take is that it's just a question of genre.

 

But here's a thought: You can even mix tempos. A lot of pop songs do that. They'll start off fast, then after going through a verse and a chorus, they'll do a verse again, this time much slower, kind of like a bridge or a breakdown section. You can do that too. Or stick with these, that'll also be fine.

 

Thanks for sharing, great song you've written.

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Great song, Lars! Really captures the tedium and mindless rushing of everyday life.

 

As to your question, there really is no right answer. The first one is kind of a bouncy folk-pop tune; the second is a more mellow folk song. My take is that it's just a question of genre.

 

But here's a thought: You can even mix tempos. A lot of pop songs do that. They'll start off fast, then after going through a verse and a chorus, they'll do a verse again, this time much slower, kind of like a bridge or a breakdown section. You can do that too. Or stick with these, that'll also be fine.

 

Thanks for sharing, great song you've written.

 

Thanks for the input! I have never given changing tempo a thought. That's a good idea.

 

I tried writing a song about how I imagine it might feel having a dead end job, just to be able to pay the bills every month. I think the song is decent, but there is something not quite right...

 

Lars

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I like both versions, but for me the slow one seems to go better with the underlying theme of the song. Good job.

 

 

I feel the same way. The words kind of get lost in the faster tempo. Those of you that have heard some of my previous songwriting efforts also know that I tend to gravitate to slow, depressing stuff [biggrin]

 

As always, it will take me some time to get the singing reasonably in pitch.

 

Lars

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For me the slow version fits the theme of the song. Also, I think the words fit more smoothly when the song is sung at the slower tempo.....Keep writing. Good stuff.

 

Thanks! Yes, it tends to be too many words and not enough room in the fast version. I'll work more on improving the song.

 

Lars

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Yes I agree with others about the slower version - it does capture the tedium of the everyday grind of work work work. I also like the guitar more [thumbup]

 

Do I dare to mention that the old version was recorded using a 1942 J-45 and the new version a Martin D-28? [unsure]

 

Lars

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I just went all in with the "low and slow" approach to this song. I worked on it a couple of hours tonight and got a version which I think is much better as far as emotion, singing, and playing. I brought the tempo down even further and it seemed to work.

 

I replaced the second link in the first post with this new version. I just love trying things out and to get a feel for how I, with my limited ability, can get a song as close as possible to my idea of what it should be.

 

If you care to listen, I welcome all feedback!

 

Lars

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Stellar job, mate. A pleasing, melancholy vocal.

 

Honestly, the medium speed version you took down was not any worse, just different. Just my view. This one does have some more emotional weight.

 

Lars, I think you indicated that the fastest one was an older version. You've improved so much that "medium" and "slowest" were my favorites because you're a much better vocalist now.

 

Keep writing and posting because I always enjoy hearing your original tunes.

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Stellar job, mate. A pleasing, melancholy vocal.

 

Honestly, the medium speed version you took down was not any worse, just different. Just my view. This one does have some more emotional weight.

 

Lars, I think you indicated that the fastest one was an older version. You've improved so much that "medium" and "slowest" were my favorites because you're a much better vocalist now.

 

Keep writing and posting because I always enjoy hearing your original tunes.

 

Yes, I did the fast version in June if I remember correctly. My ability to hear pitch has improved since then, and I now have a much better feel for when I'm off. That way I can keep trying until I can't do better. I always record in one take, without ever trying to patch the song together from various takes. It really forces me to concentrate. A 3 minute song feels like forever when worrying about pitch along the way...

 

As for this song, I'm happy and will leave it as is. When I listen back to my songs, I want them to give me a certain feeling. The original version did not, it was just a song with poor vocals. Now the song means something, at least to me, which means it is better.

 

Thanks forum for the input to steer me along.

 

Lars

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For some reason the 'old version' doesn't load for me but the new version does, and it sounds good. I agree with the tempo matching the theme of the song well. But again, I didn't have the benefit of the old one to compare. Keep on writing and sharing, it's what helps the rest of us stay focused on what this is really about [thumbup]

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