Murph Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying.It seemed very important to him that I have it. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust. Whiteboards are remarkable. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Pesh Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying.It seemed very important to him that I have it. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust. Whiteboards are remarkable. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. I read that first sentence and immediately thought "oh no; marital problems - this is a sad post!" but then continued reading, and had a chuckle.
saturn Posted December 7, 2015 Posted December 7, 2015 If Iron Man and The Silver Surfer teamed up, they would be alloys.....
Retired Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 1449489216[/url]' post='1718875']I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes. The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything." My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying.It seemed very important to him that I have it. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust. Whiteboards are remarkable. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over.
saturn Posted December 8, 2015 Posted December 8, 2015 "This is not fair " - Russian guy realizing he got bad directions to the fair. :unsure:
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