Jump to content
Gibson Brands Forums

Help me with a song? Let's collaborate.


MorrisrownSal

Recommended Posts

I'm thinking of a chorus... Something like

Ashes to ashesDust to dustConnected by a prepositionFill with love ; make that your mission

Ashes to ashesDust to dustGive each day orTurn to rust

 

That's where the song goes form A to Am to E... A to Am to F#m to B7

 

 

I need three verses.

The bridge I'm thinking a little whalin harmonica..

 

So... Anyone wanna play? Three verses and a harp track is what I need.

 

I know this is weird. Usually for the songs I write, they come to me... The music... The theme... All the verses and the chorus...

 

This song... I have the music, and the chorus came to me... The idea of a beginning and end connected by the word "to". The preposition... And it's up to us to figure out that preoposition's contents.

 

Anyway I'm stumped, and I thought it would be fun to have my friends on this great forum help me. I will play this one out, once it gets there, and I'll credit all, and have a nice story to intro it.

 

Here is the music

https://soundcloud.c...om-chatham/test

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust...in-between is a life time filled with love. That's kind of how I'd finish that line. I'd likely let the verses of the song focus on the good things that happened during the years the ashes and dust were returning to ashes and dust. If that makes sense...........Kind of depends on if you're writing a dark or a hopeful song. I like the "dark side" approach, but I wouldn't keep it all dark. For example, I'd probably follow a story about someone who fought-on through the tough times and found something worthwhile....And "Amen" on the harmonica. Used in the right place it can easily convey in emotion the words you can't quite find.

 

Of course, Sal, if you take this to some group of songwriters who are all concerned about rules, they'll likely tell you that clichés (Ashes to ashes Dust to dust) are a "no no."....lol....I've never listened to that crap. If something fits the song, I use it. I like the "Ashes to ashes Dust to dust" part. Sets a somber tone and leaves it to the songwriter to write an uplifting song or take the listener into the darkness. For me, I'd likely go for an uplifting song. Literally everything I write has a melancholy drift to it, but it usually drifts toward the light.....I fully understand the "stumped" part. Sometimes the proverbial "muse" is nowhere in sight and I can't get anywhere. I've got "almost" completed songs that are several years old. Can't get myself to change what I've got because I really like it, but then I can't find the direction I need to go in-order to complete the song. Sometimes, you've got to force yourself to let go of one line/verse/etc. so that some fresh idea can enter your mind. Can be pretty hard to do when your mind is set on the song being a certain thing. I've got a couple killer choruses and can't figure out what stories I want to tell around them...........Dan's idea about recording what you have and playing in your car and at home is a good one. Really can help to keep you focused on the song. Many, many times, I'll go out and get a cup of coffee around midnight or 1AM and have a CD in the car of a song I'm working-on. It helps to repeat what I have over and over. Sometimes other words and ideas come to my mind as I'm singing with the CD. Also, if the song just won't come to you, sometimes it's best to just leave it alone for a while. A few days later, you might get a different perspective on it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, Sal. Here's a song of mine that kind of fits that "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" idea. I often follow this kind of theme....If it gives you any ideas, use them. Steal a line or two if you need them. If you sell a million, give me some credit...lol....https://soundcloud.com/larry-garrett-4/time

 

There are countless ways of taking an idea and putting it in your own words.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nice idea for the collaboration Sal.I might be able to have a go.Pretty busy at the moment on a painting bender (art) not house.

I disagree with Larry a bit as far as the cliche goes.Also that phrase has a strong association with the Bowie song.

But if you really like it..maybe a variant like " from the "ADJECTIVE" ash, to the "ADJECTIVE" dust.Fill in the adjectives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sal - I have this downloaded and will, with your permission, save it to my IPod - which is going on a 3 dweek road trip with me and a couple guitars. Quick question - is this capoed up at all? I'm gonna plug this in and see if I can get it in my head. If I do, don't be surprised if I make another late night recording in my bathrobe.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Damn, I didn't even notice the soundcloud link until I read Dan's previous post.....After listening to it, I think it's a very catchy rhythm. The minor chords really set the tone. Listening to it was really inspirational for me and I can follow that kind of melody to where I usually end-up at. . Maybe a kind of "Dust in The Wind" ode about the relentless passing of the years and the unavoidable ending, or the broken heart that never mends. Lots of ways to make it somber. Very folksy sound to it also. Even has a kind of Celtic drive to it. Reminds me a bit of that great music from Last of the Mohicans several years back. Also, if I added a harmonica, I'd play it cross-harp.

 

I'll try to get some ideas to pass on to you. It will be interesting to see where this goes once we all start feeding-off of each other's ideas.

 

Sal, what direction do you think this song should take? I have a definite idea where I'd go with it, but I tend to write stuff that doesn't necessarily follow a rule book or turn out to be anything like you might hear on the radio.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All of the songs I've written begin with me noodling around with different chord changes to form the verses and chorus instrumentally. Once I have the song structure this way (and I become proficient playing it) the words just seem to come. So, can you lay out the chord structure, line by line, of the song yet and relay it here so I can play it and get a feel for how it flows? It's about the only way that words then seem to come to me to fit to the music. I personally find it difficult to start with words and then try and fit music to them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sal, I've got something I can send you today, if you like. Or I can put it on here (I just don't want to turn your thread into being about what I wrote). You make the call on that. I'm fine either way, my friend.........I kept the cliché and use it in a bridge instead of a chorus to help highlight and carry-on this guy's mood. Bowie and Woody Guthrie both used it, among others. It's a girl leaves boy song and the guy is lamenting it years later. Cliches work when kept in context. When they get all clever and/or are added just to be clever or as needing something to say in a song or used over and over, they tend to take-away from the song---at least in my view.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here's the song. Have a vague melody in my head for it. There will be a couple minor chords in it. I'm working on getting the progression Sal had to work with it. Could be room for a 4th verse, maybe depending on what you say in the 3rd. Any or all of it is open to suggestion/change. I'm pretty sure of where I'm headed with it and what I want to express. Feel free to take it in your own direction or completely disregard it. I'll print a copy of it with the chords once I've got them. Meanwhile, find your own melody, message, or take part of it and detour in your own direction, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...