Murph Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight " Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate. After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple "I can get you married in Heaven". "Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" "You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple". "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here... Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 There was a bank in Red Bank, New Jersey. They had a satellite branch bank in Long Branch, New Jersey. It was the Long Branch branch of the Red Bank bank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 These two Irish guys walk out of a pub. What? It could happen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murph Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 Why is Cairo the best place to go for Chinese food? No one else can wok like an Egyptian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badbluesplayer Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyearspickn Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Good and Funny ! As they say - God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Er .... I'm sitting in the pub reading these and am almost offended Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyearspickn Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Based on my DNA results - I can only be 43% offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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