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Cheer Up You Turkeys........


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Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:


Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service.


I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.


When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight "


Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available".

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On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car



Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting

outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them

into Heaven.


While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?


When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.


St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has

asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.


After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat

bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple "I can get you married in Heaven".


"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"


"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.


"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".


"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here...

Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

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