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The Wrong Way...


Murph

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I had to go to the Twin Cities for business last Friday. I'm leaving town during rush hour on 694 when my wife calls to tell me that some idiot is driving the wrong direction on the freeway. I told her, "It's not just one guy, there's hundreds of them!"

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A police officer called the station on his radio.

 

"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped. "

 

"Have you arrested the woman? "

 

"Not yet. The floor is still wet. "

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Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

 

Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

 

Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

 

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

 

Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

 

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

 

Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

 

The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

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A man went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back...

 

Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."

 

The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."

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I had to go to the Twin Cities for business last Friday. I'm leaving town during rush hour on 694 when my wife calls to tell me that some idiot is driving the wrong direction on the freeway. I told her, "It's not just one guy, there's hundreds of them!"

 

 

LOL! Didn't see that one comin Murph! [thumbup]

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Guy goes into a bar and sees his childhood friend and he can tell the guy's a pirate so he goes over and they're talking and he notices the pirate looks really rough. The guy goes "I'm in sales and it's pretty easy compared to being a pirate.... Hey, I didn't want to say anything but I noticed that you have a pegleg. What happened man?" The pirate says "Oh, that's no big deal. We were in a battle and my leg got blown off by a cannonball."

 

The guy goes "Holy Jeez. Well, uh..., how about the hook on your hand? And the pirate's like "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that. We were boarding a Brigantine off Bermuda and I was in a sword fight against eight scallywags. My hand got chopped off and so I got fitted with this hook."

 

The guy says "What happened with the eye patch?" and the pirate's like "Yeah. I was climbing the mizzenmast and I looked up and a bird pooped right in my eye." The guy's like "Did that make you blind?" And the pirate says "No. That was my first day with the hook."

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