Drinking Less.....

[Murph]

So, a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less.

The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."

[Murph]

A Texan on holiday in Mexico stopped at a local restaurant.

 

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful..

 

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

 

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

 

The cowboy said, "What the heck; bring me an order."

 

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor; there is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

 

The next morning, the cowboy returned; placed his order; and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

 

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor; Sometimes the bull wins.

[Murph]

Man says to wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

 

Wife replies, "Take half and leave your sorry ***." Husband replies, "Good, I won 12 dollars, here's 6 now get the he11 out!"

[Murph]

Old Doctor McCoy walks into the bar after a particularly rough day in the Emergency Room, just wanting to relax with his friends and and have a drink or two to take the edge off.

As he sits down, he notices that everybody has a glass with a green colored mixed drink that has a piece of wood sticking out of it, and they’re all in a light hearted mood.

His curiosity aroused, he turns to the guy sitting beside him and asks what the drink is.

 

The guy says,

 

 

“It’s a Hickory Daiquiri, Doc!”

[kidblast]

LOL!

 

the bull fighter joke was the bomb!!!

[scriv58]

A beach comber finds a brass lamp washed up on shore, and while rubbing off the rust a genie appears.

"I will give you one wish, but your worst enemy will receive double of what you ask" declared the genie.

Stroking his chin thoughtfully the man replied "alright then, i want you to beat me half to death!"

[Salfromchatham]

Pat had been celebrating St Patrick's Day at his local pub all day. The bartender says, "No more drinking for you tonight, Pat." Pat replies, "Okay, I'll be on my way then." Pat climbs off his stool and falls on his face. He pulls himself up by the stool. He takes a step towards the door and falls on his face again. He thinks that if he can get to the door and breathe some fresh air, he'll be fine. He crawls to the door and sticks his head out to take a deep breath of fresh air, which makes him feel better. He takes one step onto the sidewalk and falls on his face yet again. He thinks he must be really drunk. Pat can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and inside. He crawls upstairs to his bedroom door. He takes one step into the room and falls on his face again. He climbs into bed and falls asleep. The next morning, his wife, brings him a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Pat. Did you have a lot to drink last night?" Pat says, "I did. I was drunk. How did you know?" 'The bartender called and said "You left your wheelchair at the pub."'

[Rambler]

Sorry I asked.