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To my dad


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Some of you guys on here who have been around a while know me fairly well... I wasn't going to do this at all as usually I don't post such personal stuff but feel the need to get this out.. I cant do it in real life or would just end up a blubbering mess on the floor but I feel its the right thing to do.


I know theres not much anyone can say and today and the next three days of mourning all I am going to hear is sorry for your loss etc mostly from people I don't even know.. So I just wanted some public record and to share it with people on here who have helped me over the years and I really don't have anywhere else to do this so I hope you don't mind.


So my father Allan Rabin passed away last Tuesday (he was 76). He had a long hard fight with cancer, like nothing ive ever seen in my life and he fought harder than anyone else I have ever met in my life.. Why.. Not because of his own life but when he started chemo and I discussed with him how hard it will be he said he HAS to do it for his family because he didn't want to leave us it wasn't even a question for him.... And mainly that's who he was a real family man who only wanted to see all of his children happy and successful. I come from a Jewish family but my father was the only one of us who was at all religious and indeed he was held in very high regard by the local community at his synagogue.. He worked for charities and gave his time and money for things he believed in.. He also ran his own successful business which he took over from my grandad and was started in 1952 from a market stall in the east end of London.. By the end of it my dads business was one of the most respected in his field, he sold and fitted commercial catering equipment and kitchens and he sold to most of the London boroughs and sold to people who cater for the royal family and many many more.. I mean really.. He always told me that business was like one of his children to him and he was just as dedicated to that as to us his family and again im not sure ive met anyone else who worked as hard as he did.


As well as sometimes being very serious about certain things, the other thing about my dad is he was a joker. Always had a smile and a dad joke ready for anyone he met in his life and was loved for it.. After he sold his business and retired he started a side thing with some property.. During the last six months or so I have had to take over some of the work involved in that and when I speak to the various agents my dad worked with they all have nothing but total respect for him. Even the nurses who treated him loved him, one of them in particular would rush over to us as soon as he entered the room just to greet him.. He really was like that with everyone he just had that effect on people.


Personally among many other things he taught me to always be honest (as most of you know I am), always be kind when you can and always work hard.. And I have taken that with me my whole life and its served me well. I cant imagine having better parents than I do and did and I think that what ever else has happened to me in life, that makes me a very lucky man indeed and I will always love and remember him for that.


He also had a love for Israel.. Nothing to do with politics but he really felt that it was his home and my parents met there in the I think late 50s and they lived there for like ten years.. In the end they had to come back home as work over there dried up for some reason I cant remember (if not, chances are I would have been born there, my oldest sister was).. As I was growing up my parents always told me that they were one day going to retire over there but then when my sisters had kids all that changed because of course there was no way my parents were going to miss out on them growing up and far more chances for my dad to be a very very silly grandad. So what happened instead was my parents got burial plots in Israel in the hills just outside Jerusalem and we flew him over for it a few days ago (burial was on Thursday) so now after this fight he is at peace in the place he always wanted to be the most.


Well I could go on but wont.. Instead I will finish with some pics.


My parents when they met in Israel (I got screen shots from an old video)



My dad being VERY silly (I couldn't believe it when I first saw this) (and no I doubt it was loaded :) )



Then when they got married



Then 40 years later this was on their wedding anniversary


This is probably what most people saw



This is what we saw most of the time :D



So there we go... Goodbye dad I wont ever forget you and everything you taught me.... I hope you are at rest because you deserve it.

Edited by Rabs
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My condolences Rabs, sounds like he was a real good guy which is why you are such a good guy. You are fortunate to have had a father with such a good influence on you, not everyone is so lucky.

Thank you and yes I totally get how lucky I am.. I try not to take it for granted...

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So sorry Rabs.

I lost my Dad 3 years ago to cancer.

It was so tough on him. And yet he handled it with grace and bravery.


I know what you're going through.

Please know if you need to talk I'm available.

God bless you.

Thank you.. Writing this has helped me already, I cried a few times while writing it which I think is the point.


And yeah, I don't really want to go in to detail but the way he was the last month especially was the hardest thing I have ever had to witness and the worst state ive ever seen a human being in.. Which is why as horrible and traumatic as this has all been, hes not in pain any more and that's a really big thing it was too much for everyone involved.

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All my thoughts and prayers to you and the entire family, Rabs.


Yer Pop was lucky to have you as his son, this much is true.



Thanks man...


I think though if I am a good man, it is only by my parents own example.. My mother is also an amazingly kind, generous and forgiving person too.. I really am so lucky.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Rabs. Your dad was very special and a blessing to those around him. I'm glad you wrote about him. My prayers go out to Alan Rabin and his loved ones that will never forget him.

I really appreciate that... thanks :)

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My heart goes out to you Rabs. I lost my dad March of this year to cancer at the age of 62 and not a day goes by that I don't miss him. Your Dad sounds like he was a great man who enjoyed life to the fullest and the relationship the two of you had is one many would envy. Look back on the good memories you have of him daily, cherish the time you had with him, and continue to make him proud.




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Rabs, I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. Although I don't know you, your love for him is so very apparent in your post. Losing parents just sucks. I miss my folks, too. I pray that God will ease the pain that you and your family are feeling and that He will allow your loving memories to stay uppermost in your minds and lives. Be strong and know that the prayers of all of us are with you.

Edited by G Mac
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What a Wonderfull heartfelt story Rab, Your dad sounded like someone I would loved to have met. Thank you so much for sharing your father with us all. Yes, cancer has terrible effects on people but the joy and laughter your dad brought to you should keep your memories of him in your heart and mind forever. God bless and prayers to you and your family.

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Hi Rabs,

I'm so sincerely sorry for your loss. I send my condolences...

As I don't know you personally, I really commend you for the values that your father has instilled in you as he seems to have made a great thing in this world - in you, his son. It sounds like he loved you and his family very much so, and I can understand this as I am a father and love my father dearly. Just always know that he will always be with you in spirit, and we are here to help in your time of need. Even in death, there is life and beauty. I just know how hard it is man... It sucks for lack of better terms. But you shall have a day that will come where you can look forward and see how many support you to make it through your journey in life once again while once again feeling the warmth of the sunlight. My thoughts and prayers are there for you Rabs - and I am sure that I am not the only one who cares for your well-being. If this is the only place you feel able to share and it helps you out, please do not hesitate. There are a lot of great people in this world who care about each other and can share their experiences to help out, but no one knows the pain inside unless we reach out...


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