Original (Try)

[livemusic]

I had put this up on Facebook because I have been through another round of rejection, part and parcel of the music industry, and was rather unsure of myself and what I am doing, spending all of this money in Nashville. I needed to know if anyone gives a hoot, lol, for what I do, especially the people around my hometown, as I have written a lot of songs about it and hope to do an album of that material. I have been recording for years in Nashville to release an album. My mother died during my last big push there and that changed things and I got sidetracked for a long time.

 

I'm making another run to complete the first record and I was getting nowhere fast with certain things I was doing. People would say they want to help and then they don't even listen. So, you question yourself. On the FB post, I just asked people for help on my 65th birthday two days ago. And that is, do me a favor and listen to this song and tell me if you think it's good. I have, literally, hundreds of songs. I write many styles of music. This, to me, sounds 'commercial' and I wanted to know what people think about it.

 

I have tons of songs that are not very 'commercial,' but I love 'non-commercial' type of music... acoustic or folky or story songs or dark lyrical material... what I call "Americana." I got it all (styles, genres) and it's a challenge to figure out how to put the right songs on a record so you can make some sales just to feed the habit. I'm not looking to make a lot, I just hope to figure out how to feed the habit so I can do more, lol. It may be a pipedream but I am going to try. I have some marketing ideas and I am not broke. Not being broke anymore helps, lol. Most musicians are broke. If I can figure some things out that might just work in this digital age, I am not afraid to try. Which includes the old fashioned way -- gigging to sell a few records here and there.

 

I am also now testing some more sparsely recorded stuff... we'll see how that turns out. But for now, this is a full band recording. If you like, let me know! It's not about my hometown; it's a breakup song and it's kind of a retro sound. I wrote it, I'm playing acoustic and singing and my guitar player does the electric. There is also bass, keyboard/synth and drums. This has not been mixed or mastered and there is no vocal harmony yet (if I put it on there)... this is a 'rough mix' but it's a good rough mix that my engineer threw together.

 

Thanks, if you listen, I appreciate it! I just thought I'd post it here before I take it down.

 

[QuestionMark]

I think it’s a good song, good arrangement, and there’s good vocal phrasing in it! And, a good story line. As well as good instrumention in it. I like it!

 

QM aka Jazzman Jeff

[duluthdan]

This as good as most of the formulaic stuff coming out of Nashville right now, judging by the CMA last night. You are in Nashville - it’s a tough gig. Ever try to just sell a song there ?

[livemusic]

Thanks Questionmark. Glad you approve!

 

Duluthdan, it's nigh impossible to pitch a song these days and get it recorded unless you are "in" with the in-crowd. Which means moving there for five years and hanging out with the crowd before they give you the time of day. Then, you have to hitch on to some rising star and write with him even if he's not a writer, lol. Mind you, some are bonafide writers but a huge difference now is that just about ALL artists coming in now are writers. That's kind of the way it works these days. The old days of pitching and getting recorded through a plugger, a publisher, or you plugging it here and there are few and far between now. Also, they write by committee, and I'm probably not going to do that. I'm just doing my own thing and hope to make some sales somehow.

 

This song is kind of a radio type song... 'commercial.' Well, I think it is, lol. I do think it's a really good song but what I think doesn't matter as much as the public. I could do an entire record of songs kinda like this. And then do another one very different from this. Raised on Top 40 radio, which as all over the map.

[scriv58]

This is a good song, good production, good delivery. Nice to hear something original rather than covertunes iphone thrashing. I have been lead to understand that timing is a big key, so just hang in there!

 

If you're waiting for facebook to be a friend, i don't see that train ever arriving at the station.

[kelly campbell]

Good stuff nice voice as well. thanks for sharing it. Great job.

[Lars68]

I have to start by saying that commercial country music is not really my cup of tea. I prefer an edgier, more alternative, approach in most cases. However, I really enjoyed your song. There are people out there making a lot of money who can't do it as well as that. At least, that is my opinion.

 

I saw Sam Outlaw in concert not long ago, and your song song reminds me of his style. That's a good thing!

 

Best of luck in your endeavor!

 

Lars

[aliasphobias]

!I didn't think that was bad. What does Nashville have to do with it? Youtube channel!? Talent has very little to do with making money playing music. Selling records even less. I saw John Hiatt the other night, incredible talent IMO, he's sleeping in Motel 6 instead of his own bed. If you can make money doing it consider yourself lucky. I wish you the best!

[kidblast]

I can't say what the deal is with selling music, getting contracts, Nashville's unending competition for carving out a living in music, and all that stuff... but I will say, after listening to this song twice, I think it's fantastic, if that's worth anything to you.

 

Nice work! Really nice work..

[dhanners623]

Having only ever lost money from writing, playing and recording my music, my opinion is neither here nor there. Similarly, I've only been to Nashville twice, and it wasn't for music. If I had to try to sell my songs somewhere, I'd starve.

 

That said, here are some thoughts as a listener. I like the song, but.... I want to hear more emotion in the voice. And I think that means slowing it down some, and that means editing it to shorten the lyrics a bit. You're telling us about real heartbreak here. You're painting a picture of an also-ran who just keeps trying, and that's got to wear down a person, but I'm not hearing that weariness in your delivery. And to my ear, the screaming guitar solo -- while technically good and played with taste -- doesn't fit here.

 

Regarding editing, on first listen, it seems like you're throwing a lot of thoughts at us. If I read the lyrics, I might discover I was wrong. But I want you to slow down and be judicious about what you're telling me.

 

Again, you can take all of this with a grain of salt. I've had friends move to Nashville. Some came back with their tails tucked between their legs, but a couple are still there, working their day jobs and playing music at night. The common thread of all their stories is it is a tough row to hoe, and they are very talented. Sadly, music is not a meritocracy, and they are still waiting for that one bolt of lightning, good fortune, karma or whatever you want to call it.

 

It strikes me that at our age (I'm just a couple of years younger than you) music is a rough business. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is looking for an unknown or unsigned artist in our demographic. The men and women who are our age who are big names have been big names for years.

 

I think it's important to just keep writing and performing music that means something to YOU. And cherish the gigs you have. I live in a country where gigs are few and far between (I've managed to have one show since August) so be thankful for the opportunities you DO have. You're fortunate.

[blindboygrunt]

You were a regular poster of music a year or two ago here and I enjoyed it a great deal

That song that’s posted here , is certainly great , but I much preferred your other stuff that was somewhat more left of centre

 

That sounds like I don’t like this song here , I really do and my hat comes off being a bloke who finds it impossible to write something that I’d be happy sharing

[EuroAussie]

Well it certainly is commercial country, but there is a lot to like about the song when isolated.

 

I thought the playing overall was very good and consistent, the production was very sold and the song structure had a clear journey. I also appreciated your use of dynamics, especially vocally to keep the listener involved.

 

Two comments taht come to mind. In terms of vocals, i would turn it a bit down in the mix, i feel they dominate the instrumental parts too much, and also the singing sometimes feesl a bit mechanical. I would like to hear it a bit looser and authentic.

 

The only thing that I found genuinely annoying, if were going to be frank here were the lyrics. I get its a song of pain and suffering, and thats what being communicated here, but I just feel like taking the subject of the song, giving a good shake and yell at him to toughen and stop being such wuss - get on with your life ! But, I get its a country song, and country songs have these types of lyrics whcih is not my cup of trea and why i normally avoid mainstream country music.

 

But I reckokn there is a lot of positive going on there. Im just starting to get into writing originals and working with production / garageband, so this is motivating to keep going on my own journey.