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Murph

Snap Out Of It...

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William Shatner has discontinued his range of ladies lingerie. Apparently “Shatner Panties” proved an unpopular name choice.

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It’s called cranapple juice, because crapple juice is just bad marketing.

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A midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

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You're a loser. If there was a contest for losers you'd come in second. Because you're a loser.

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A short poem written by my sister. "Sometime I Miss Him."

 

Last night I ran into my ex.

Then I backed up and ran into him again.

Sometime I miss him.

Edited by tpbiii

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This new grade school teacher is trying to impress the kids and tells them that she's a trained psychologist.

Then she said, "If anyone in here thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After about 15 seconds, no one stands-up, but then Little Johnny stands.

The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, do you think you're stupid?"

Little Johnny says, "No ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there by yourself."

 

If you're good at handling "politically incorrect" humor, find David Allan Coe's adult songs on YouTube.

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Just before the start of the funeral, a gentleman asked the widow if she’d mind if he said a word. She assented, and when it was his turn, the gentleman stood, faced the gathering, and said “Plethora.” Then he sat down.

 

Afterward, the widow approached the man and, wiping a tear away, said “Thank you; that means alot.”

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