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Don't own a Monkey


Bluemoon

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I don't care if you are liberal, conservative, religious, an atheists, or believe in global warming or not...owning a monkey is bad news. There was the story a few years ago of a chimp that ripped his owner's nuts off. And here is what happened to that woman in Conn. a few weeks ago:

 

"The Connecticut woman mauled by a chimpanzee two weeks ago lost her hands, nose, lips and eyelids and may be blind and suffering brain damage, and hospital officials say it's still unclear if her condition can improve at all.

 

So to all you chimp loving forum members (excluding those who like Rush) you have been warned.

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I agree.. owning a monkey is not only weird' date=' but ill advised.

 

Did you ever get prosthetic nuts put in? Or are you just letting it sag?[/quote']

 

I couldn't afford replacement nuts...so I just put two ping pong balls in.

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"The Connecticut woman mauled by a chimpanzee two weeks ago lost her hands' date=' nose, lips and eyelids and may be blind and suffering brain damage, and hospital officials say it's still unclear if her condition can improve at all.[/quote']

 

The woman who was attacked was her neighbor, I think she walked in an surprised the Chimp. She reportedly was on good terms with the chimp (it makes me laugh to say that) but was wearing a hat or something like that.

 

The funny thing is that the woman who owned the chimp slept with it, ate dinner with it, let it drink wine with her, bathed with it, and who knows what else. She humanized that monkey and probably had disgusting monkey sex with it. The chimp was also very protective of her and would get jealous when she would go out or have people over.

 

She apparently told the cops "Don't kill it, the woman's already dead" but I think that might be an exaggeration because I saw a news report on it and I don't remember that part.

 

 

It's all the owners fault. Instead of buying a very expensive animal to fill the void in her life she should have worked at a zoo or something. I'll assume she couldn't get a date because anyone that weird has crippling social issues.

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When i saw the title of this post' date=' i thought Bluemoon had one for sale. I'd love to have a helper monkey just like Homer Simpsons'.[/quote']

 

It would be great... until it rips your face and hands off, and then mistakes your scrotum for a bag of Doritos.

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I am afraid of monkeys. They are creepy. My wife fears orangutans. There will be no lower primates in our household obviously.

 

Besides which I don't think wild animals should be made into pets. I used to feed my neighbors bobcats. They were not good pets. I almost lost a hand.

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I'll bet that hippos and giraffes taste better than monkeys do...

 

Let's find out. There's a zoo right down the road from me. They have like six hippos and about a dozen giraffes. They don't need all of them. We can have a BBQ at my place.

 

What wine do you serve with hippo?

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