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C & W Song titles


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A friend sent me an e-mail with a list of humourous song titles so I thought I'd share them with you all.




1. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

2. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

3. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

5. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

7. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

8. I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

9. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

10. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now

11. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

12. If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

13. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

14. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

15. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

16. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

17. Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

18. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

19. I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine

20. I Want A Beer As Cold As My Lover's Heart


Wouldn't it be great if we could get all of these on one album?


Edit : Please post up any of your own for the enjoyment of the masses!

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Are those all real titles? I've heard #1' date=' Drop Kick Me, but that's the only one.[/quote']


Well, I can't guarantee that they're all genuine but I'd already heard of six not including yours so if we say those seven make up 35% I don't see any reason for the rest to be bogus. What would be the point?


No. 6 was quite a successful single and featured in a hit musical my memory serves me well.


I especially love the pathos in #13....



Edit : There was another I expected to see which wasn't on the original list. I don't know if the line is the title or just a phrase in the song but I always liked it ;


"If the 'phone don't ring - it's me!"

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OK; I'm sorry folks but, checking out #6 (Fred Astaire and Jane Powell, 1933 BTW) I came upon this.


It's got the lot....




They're not all pant-wettingly funny but there are a fair few not on the original list.


Oh Me Oh My! Why don't we Brits have this same sense of cringe-worthy self-mockery? (answers on a postcard to : G Brown. 10, Downing Street, London.)

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