MissouriPicker Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 I should have known better, but today I tried some gas station Escargot. Now I’m feeling sluggish. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 (edited) There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt ! Edited May 2, 2020 by jaxson50 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 These are probably older than I am. How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date. What did Helen Keller do when she fell off the cliff? She screamed her hands off. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are trapped in a box canyon by ten-thousand indians. The Lone Ranger says, "Well, my loyal friend! Looks like the end. We are trapped by thousands of indians." Tonto says, "WE, white man?" 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 A owner of a pawn shop threw a banjo into a trash can striking an accordion, He had perfect pitch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 Why is there no coronavirus in Antarctica? because it's ice-so-lated. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 You've heard the saying that no one man can change the world alone.. I guess who ever said that never heard of bat soup.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 I went to the market to pick up a few things, I noticed a lady obviously under distress, sobbing while her small children looked at her , sadness in their faces. I asked what could I do to help? She pointed to the cart full of groceries and said she was ready to go through the checkout line but she couldn't find the $200,00 she has put in her purse before leaving home, it was the only money she received since the lock down orders, her cupboards were bare and she had children to feed, Well I couldn'tlive with myself if I didn't help her, so I opened my wallet and gave her $50,00, What else could I do, after finding thatv$200,00 in the parking lot it was the right thing to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanHenry Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Prince Charles is self-isolating with Covid 19. Prince Andrew is self-isolating with Jennifer, 14. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Whats pink and hard... A pig with a flick-knife... Whats yellow and hard A canary with a machine gun 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncle fester Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 what did the 0 say to the 8? nice belt. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabs Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people. too bad none of them work. 2 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 Dyslexic atheists don't believe in dog. 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 6, 2020 Author Share Posted May 6, 2020 What do you call an old snowman ? water. 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 6, 2020 Author Share Posted May 6, 2020 Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted May 6, 2020 Author Share Posted May 6, 2020 Why didn't the zombie go to school? He felt rotten. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 (edited) She had a photographic memory, but it never developed Edited May 6, 2020 by jaxson50 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s something I can really see myself doing. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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