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Stupid Jokes


Mr. Gibson

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Two hunters are in the woods when one collapses. He's not breathing & his eyes are glazed. The other guy quickly calls 911.  "I think my friend is dead, what can I do?" 

The operator says, "Calm down, first let's make sure he's dead."  There's a silence, then a shot.  Back on th phone, "OK, Now What?" 

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I just made this one up.

It's really stupid.
😐

Three sisters (Eleanor, Prudence, and Abby) prepared to leave town for a wedding, but due to their schedules, could not travel together. 

The had available for conveyance exactly one motor car, a panel truck, and a motorcycle. 

In the end, Eleanor left first in the motor car. 

Prudence departed a while later in the truck. 

And Abby?

Well............ Abby rode. 

🤨


Abbey-Road-Featured.jpg

 

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5 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I just made this one up.

It's really stupid.
😐

Three sisters (Eleanor, Prudence, and Abby) prepared to leave town for a wedding, but due to their schedules, could not travel together. 

The had available for conveyance exactly one motor car, a panel truck, and a motorcycle. 

In the end, Eleanor left first in the motor car. 

Prudence departed a while later in the truck. 

And Abby?

Well............ Abby rode. 

🤨


Abbey-Road-Featured.jpg

 

 

good stuff. I've made up all of the book/reading ones on here. Here's some more

I'm reading this book called 'Quotations'. I cant follow it at all...

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and glasses

I've just read a book on Marijuana. I'm hungry now.

I just bought a DIY book. All the pages are blank

Edited by merciful-evans
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6 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I just made this one up.

It's really stupid.
😐

Three sisters (Eleanor, Prudence, and Abby) prepared to leave town for a wedding, but due to their schedules, could not travel together. 

The had available for conveyance exactly one motor car, a panel truck, and a motorcycle. 

In the end, Eleanor left first in the motor car. 

Prudence departed a while later in the truck. 

And Abby?

Well............ Abby rode. 

🤨


Abbey-Road-Featured.jpg

 

That was gonna be the cover if the one with Paul with no shoes didn't work out.

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The tiny purple virus
Run laughing through your fingers
And your mask will take her with you
To the homeland for the winter

Her name is Covid 19
And she hides her crimson shell
You know you should not spread her
For you touched the distant lands

With exhales to brave protestors
How their naked lungs were tortured
By the virus harshly stinging
Yeah.. cough cough

Edited by mihcmac
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An Engineer dies.. and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy.

  

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"

  

Satan says, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."  

  

God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! " 

  

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him." 

  

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." 

  

"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"

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An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but found it difficult work since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison for Mafia activities. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

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