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California governor Gavin Newsom just ordered all trees to start wearing masks to prevent the spread of forest fires.

Edited by Californiaman
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A blonde went to buy a pizza.  After ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six  pieces or twelve.  "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve." 

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I just made this one up.

It's really stupid.
😐

Three sisters (Eleanor, Prudence, and Abby) prepared to leave town for a wedding, but due to their schedules, could not travel together. 

The had available for conveyance exactly one motor car, a panel truck, and a motorcycle. 

In the end, Eleanor left first in the motor car. 

Prudence departed a while later in the truck. 

And Abby?

Well............ Abby rode. 

🤨


Abbey-Road-Featured.jpg

 

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5 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I just made this one up.

It's really stupid.
😐

Three sisters (Eleanor, Prudence, and Abby) prepared to leave town for a wedding, but due to their schedules, could not travel together. 

The had available for conveyance exactly one motor car, a panel truck, and a motorcycle. 

In the end, Eleanor left first in the motor car. 

Prudence departed a while later in the truck. 

And Abby?

Well............ Abby rode. 

🤨


Abbey-Road-Featured.jpg

 

 

good stuff. I've made up all of the book/reading ones on here. Here's some more

I'm reading this book called 'Quotations'. I cant follow it at all...

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting and glasses

I've just read a book on Marijuana. I'm hungry now.

I just bought a DIY book. All the pages are blank

Edited by merciful-evans
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6 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I just made this one up.

It's really stupid.
😐

Three sisters (Eleanor, Prudence, and Abby) prepared to leave town for a wedding, but due to their schedules, could not travel together. 

The had available for conveyance exactly one motor car, a panel truck, and a motorcycle. 

In the end, Eleanor left first in the motor car. 

Prudence departed a while later in the truck. 

And Abby?

Well............ Abby rode. 

🤨


Abbey-Road-Featured.jpg

 

That was gonna be the cover if the one with Paul with no shoes didn't work out.

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The tiny purple virus
Run laughing through your fingers
And your mask will take her with you
To the homeland for the winter

Her name is Covid 19
And she hides her crimson shell
You know you should not spread her
For you touched the distant lands

With exhales to brave protestors
How their naked lungs were tortured
By the virus harshly stinging
Yeah.. cough cough

Edited by mihcmac

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An Engineer dies.. and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy.

  

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?"

  

Satan says, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."  

  

God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! " 

  

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him." 

  

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." 

  

"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"

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What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?  You can negotiate with a terrorist.

How does a guitar player protect his Guitar from being stolen?  Store it in a bass case.

How do you make a guitarist turn his amp down?  Put sheet music in front of him.

How do you get a guitar player off your front porch?  Pay him for the pizza delivery.

What do Eric Clapton and black coffee have in common?  They both suck without Cream.

How can you tell if the stage is level?  The guitarist is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a bassist?  A tattoo.

Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them.

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