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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below.He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me

Here's one I made up last year.  It's bad.  😐 This Presbyterian Lutheran Jewish Amish Episcopalian Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints guy walks into a bar.  Bartender says, "Why the long faith?

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  I asked my daughter for the phone book. She laughed for a bit then called me a dinosaur before handing me her smartphone. 
 

Well the spider is dead and her phone is now broken. She’s pissed!

 

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On 3/13/2021 at 9:50 AM, Whitefang said:

So....

What did you pick?  [wink]

Or are you still trying to decide?  [biggrin]

Whitefang

Haven’t decided yet!  There are so many more options these days.   I’ve kind of been thinking about being a female athlete, at least for a couple weeks.  Maybe I can win a few trophies.  Hell, even if I don’t win a trophy, just changing and showering with the girls will be pretty exciting.

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They said that when Jeffrey Dahmer was in high school, he was a pretty fair pitcher on his high school baseball team.  They said he had a fine right arm.  In fact, in the freezer, he had several of them.

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So, this gal is Christmas shopping and her husband is supposed to meet her, but he’s late.  She calls him to see where he’s at.  “You’re late, hon!  When you getting here?”

Him:  “I’m sorry babe!  I got hung-up......  You remember that little jewelry shop where you saw that diamond necklace and I said that someday I’d buy it for you?”

Her, as tears fill her eyes:  “OMG! Yes, I remember it!”

Him:  “Well, I’m in the bar right next to it.”

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A guy buys his blond girlfriend her first cell phone.  She's shopping in Walmart when her new phone rings.  

She answers and says, "Hello?"

Her boyfriend says, "Hi babe.  How are you liking your new phone?"

She says, "I like it fine, but how did you know I was at Walmart?"

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