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When Dov Moran, the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower his coffin.... then pull it back up, turn it the other way, and lower it again.

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There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt !

Edited by jaxson50
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These are probably older than I am.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?  On a blind date.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell off the cliff?  She screamed her hands off.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are trapped in a box canyon by ten-thousand indians.  The Lone Ranger says, "Well,  my loyal friend!  Looks like the end.  We are trapped by thousands of indians."

Tonto says, "WE, white man?"

 

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A owner of a pawn shop threw a banjo into a trash can striking an accordion,  

He had perfect pitch!

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 A drummer, tired of being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some "real" musical instruments.

He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says "I'll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion."

The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies "OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator's got to stay".

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You've heard the saying that no one man can change the world alone..

I guess who ever said that never heard of bat soup..

[unsure]

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I went to the market to pick up a few things, I noticed a lady obviously under distress,  sobbing while her small children looked at her , sadness in their faces.

I asked what could I do to help?

She pointed to the cart full of groceries and said she was ready to go through the checkout line but she couldn't find the $200,00  she has put in her purse before leaving home, it was the only money she received since the lock down orders,  her cupboards were bare and she had children to feed,

Well I couldn'tlive with myself if I didn't help her, so I opened my wallet and gave her $50,00, 

What else could I do, after finding thatv$200,00 in the parking lot it was the right thing to do!

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Prince Charles is self-isolating with Covid 19.

Prince Andrew is self-isolating with Jennifer, 14.  

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Whats pink and hard...

A pig with a flick-knife...

 

 

Whats yellow and hard

A canary with a machine gun 

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4 hours ago, uncle fester said:

what did the 0 say to the 8?                nice belt.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9

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Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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