Whitefang Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 A male and female whale were swimming together in the ocean. All of a sudden a battleship hits the male whale. Dazed, but not seriously hurt, he tells the female whale; "Man, that pissed me off. Let's swim under the ship , blast it with our blowholes and capsize it." The female whale agrees. They swim under the ship, they blast it, The ship capsizes, spilling all the sailors into the water. As they're swimming away, the male whale says: "You know, I'm still mad. Let's go back and eat all the sailors." To this the female whale replies: "No way. you talked me into the blow, but I'm not swallowing the seamen." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Gibson Posted June 19, 2022 Author Share Posted June 19, 2022 1 hour ago, gearbasher said: A male and female whale were swimming together in the ocean. All of a sudden a battleship hits the male whale. Dazed, but not seriously hurt, he tells the female whale; "Man, that pissed me off. Let's swim under the ship , blast it with our blowholes and capsize it." The female whale agrees. They swim under the ship, they blast it, The ship capsizes, spilling all the sailors into the water. As they're swimming away, the male whale says: "You know, I'm still mad. Let's go back and eat all the sailors." To this the female whale replies: "No way. you talked me into the blow, but I'm not swallowing the seamen." LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 20, 2022 Share Posted June 20, 2022 I ordered a Hawaiian pizza. When I went to pick it up, it was burnt. The pizza maker apologized and said he forgot to set the oven to "aloha" temperature. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 But, when you picked up your Hawaiian pizza, did you get "leied"? Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted June 22, 2022 Share Posted June 22, 2022 What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 22, 2022 Share Posted June 22, 2022 What! Perry Como's birthday or something? OK.... "What did Delaware boys, what did Delaware/ She wore a brand New Jersey, she wore a brand New Jersey, that's what Della wore..." All right. Here's the source.... Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 Yeah, Americans like to make dark jokes about anyone who can't defend themselves. Like, remember?...... What kind of wood don't float? NATALIE WOOD! or Didja hear about State Farm cancelling Rock Hudson's car insurance when they learned he was rear-ended too many times? 🙄 Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 (edited) Rock Hudson died of Botulism. He got some bad meat in the can. When Bill Clinton was asked : "Who was better Monica or Hillary?" He said:" Monica! Hillary was close but no cigar." Edited June 23, 2022 by gearbasher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 23, 2022 Share Posted June 23, 2022 Q/ What is tradition? A/ Peer pressure from dead people 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 A man and his young son are in a pharmacy. As they are walking around, they pass a condom display. The kid asks his father: 'What are those for?" So the father explains to the kid what they're used for. The kid points to a package of two and asks: "Why are there two in here?." The father says; "That's for high school kids. One for Friday night and one for Saturday night." The kid then points to a 4-pack and asks: "Then why are there four in this one." The father replies: "That one is for college kids. Two for Friday and two for Saturday." The kid then points to a 12-pack and asks: "So, why are there 12 in this one?" The father says: "That one is for married men. One for January, one for February...." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 On 6/23/2022 at 12:11 PM, ghost_of_fl said: Reminds me of that old joke (cleaning this one up a little): What's sparkly and comes in little cans? Michael Jackson. Even older.... What's grey and comes in quarts? An elephant! When I was in Jr. high in the early '60's elephant jokes were all the "rage". Of course, most were clean and stupid however. Whitefang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgm Posted June 29, 2022 Share Posted June 29, 2022 (edited) 21 hours ago, Whitefang said: An elephant! When I was in Jr. high in the early '60's elephant jokes were all the "rage". Of course, most were clean and stupid however. Whitefang How do you fit 4 elephants in a saloon car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back! Edited June 30, 2022 by jdgm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissouriPicker Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 Why did Michael Jackson date 35-years-olds? Because there were thirty of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 The French detest fast food. That's why they eat snails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitefang Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 17 hours ago, jdgm said: How do you fit 4 elephants in a saloon car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back! OK and of course... What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence! 🙄 Whitefang 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 (edited) What can be found between an elephant's toes? Slow running Pygmies, Edited June 30, 2022 by gearbasher 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted July 1, 2022 Share Posted July 1, 2022 When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breath through that little thing?" What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the giraffe. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 I'm worried. I just failed to get a stupid joke. 58 minutes ago, gearbasher said: What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the giraffe. I'm worried. I just failed to get a stupid joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 51 minutes ago, merciful-evans said: I'm worried. I just failed to get a stupid joke. I'm worried. I just failed to get a stupid joke. Well, being from Britain, you're excused. It's a baseball reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gearbasher Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 A guy walks into a bar carrying a foot-tall man and a small piano. He places the piano and the man on the bar. The tiny man sits down on a little stool and starts to play the piano, magnificently. The bartender walks over and asks: "Where did you find this tiny piano playing fellow?" The man replies: " I was walking down an alley and found an old bottle. When I opened the bottle, a genie popped out and said he would grant me one wish." The bartender asked: "So, you wished for this little guy?" The man replied: "The genie misheard me. Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 little kid 1: I saw the midget olympics on you tube little kid 2: Its not the midget olympics. Its the oompaa loompa lympics 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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