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Mr. Gibson
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An old couple in their 80,s are out in a tavern.  The old man asks his wife if she remember's the first time they made love?  Yes she said, We went back behind the Tavern and leaned against the fence & I made love to you. He asks her if she wants to do it again for old times sake?  "Oh Jim, you devil, that sounds like a crazy idea but yes! So they get their canes and slowly walk back behind the Tavern. A policeman overheard them and thought he better follow them to make sure no one harms them. So they take off their clothes and lean against the fence and have a wild shaking intimate love making for 30 minutes. The police officer watched the whole thing and was amazed at what he saw for 2 old people. He thinks about it and decides to ask the guy, "What is your success?"  The old man tells him. "Well, 60 years ago, It wasn't an Electric Fence!"

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A cop comes across a drunk trying to unlock a lamp post with his house key.

"I don't think anyone's  home." said the cop.

"Sure there is..."  said the drunk.,   "There's a light on upstairs."

Whitefang

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On 5/2/2020 at 6:13 PM, MissouriPicker said:

 

These are probably older than I am.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?  On a blind date.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell off the cliff?  She screamed her hands off.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are trapped in a box canyon by ten-thousand indians.  The Lone Ranger says, "Well,  my loyal friend!  Looks like the end.  We are trapped by thousands of indians."

Tonto says, "WE, white man?"

 

I've heard that joke a few times, but still it's one of my favorites

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One of the UK's greatest ever and best-loved comedy writers - Barry Cryer - has just died at the age of 86.

A couple of days before his death, he was visited by one of his old friends who asked him how he was doing.....

He said - "Well I'm NOT going to buy any  green bananas!"

What a guy.

R.I.P. Barry - a very funny man, he made a lot of people very happy over a very long period of time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

After 35 yers of service, the mailman, George retires. On his last day he makes his usual rounds. At his first house, the whole family comes out & congratulates him and gives him a tidy gift envelope. At the second house, they present him with a box of fine cigars. The third house hands him a selection of terrific fishing lures. The next house, he is met at the door by a very beautiful Blond woman in a negligee. She takes him by the hand and leads him upstairs to the bedroom, where she blows his mind with the most passionate sex he has ever experienced. When they're done, they go downstairs and she pours him a cup of coffee. He notices a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup. All this is too wonderful for words he tells her. "But what's the dollar for?"  Well she says, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that I wanted to do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."  

He said, "Screw him, Give him a dollar." 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/20/2022 at 7:23 PM, ghost_of_fl said:

Doctor:  "Due to new privacy regulations, we can no longer use patient names in the waiting room.  Will the patient with the itchy vagina please follow me ..."

calling-patient-young-male-nurse-one-pat

I still laugh at that & can imagine what that gal is thinking! 

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