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I have been to a lot of funerals lately. 
I just sang Amazing Grace at a funeral Mass yesterday morning. 

We are all (many of us) of a certain age
We have been through it. 
Our buddies and old classmates and chums are passing away. 
I confess that I have lost 15 friends and family members in the past 3 years or so. 

And only one of them went out peacefully and on her own terms. 

I have found myself reflecting on the nature and the absurd caprice of how we die, and where and when we might release this mortal coil. 
Especially since I have spent a lot of time with my wife's 92 year old father, as we have both borne witness to the passing of three of his seven grown children lately. 

Old Jim is very much near the end himself, and he has spoken to me and his surviving offspring about exactly how he wants his remains disposed of, and so on. 

SO. 
On that note. 
If you could choose the wheres and the hows and the details of your own passing, how would you want to go?

This is a hypothetical and completely absurd question, really. 
If you could design your own perfect death, what would it look like?

I'm tired and sleep-deprived right now, so forgive me this nonsensical query. 

But answer in your own way, if you have the time or inclination. 

😑

Cemetery2.gif





 

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On the downstroke.

About a year after I came home from Nam I was in a Car Accident in a VW out in the middle of nowhere somewhere near Oxen Hill, Md... If your familiar.. It was 3:00 in the morning. I’d been on a year l

Sparky said  "wiener".   

OK Sparky, I'll be the first.  First I'll say, I should have died at least 6 times so far. I fell out of full grown trees very big and tall as a small kid. I tried to get to the very top where a bird was. The branch was too thin and down I came. Twice I hit a fence on the backside of my knee breaking the fall. once I caught a branch stopping the fall.  I should have died cutting the left arm almost off bleeding out with very little left at the Emergency. My brain tumor cancer they said I should have died. Believe me, That was the most painful experience I ever had. You don't want to go that way. Shot in the right knee and the bullet exited out the upper calf,  Pain didn't set in till on the way to the hospital.  Truthful, You cannot fell the bullet enter or exit the body. I din't even know I was shot till I couldn't get up off the ground. It was a .41 Mag. Felt like Kong hit me on top of the head knocking me on my butt flying off my feet but it didn't hurt at all. Don't want to die of Dementia or Alzheimer's as I've seen relatives go that way. Seen people die of cancer and theres nothing attractive of that plus I've went through cancer as I said. I prayed the Lord to heal me or take me now! It was miserable but I tried to make the best of it. All in all most will say in your sleep. Me too but if not? A car wreck going fast or a bullet. Just going fast whatever way the Lord plans is fine with me. No one wants to suffer.

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Yeah much the same thing really..  My only caveat is that I want to go after my mum.. Would never want to put her through that...

Apart from that, what ever what ever.. Obviously no one wants to suffer as said above.. And what happens after I go, dont really think I will care much...  

I guess I hope my guitars will still be played long after I am gone as I doubt I will ever have kids.. So that will be my legacy 🙂 

A few years ago I also lost my dad and then a few moths later one of my oldest and closest friends, both to cancer.. A total s*itshow.. 

I also almost died a couple of times.. Once when I was very young I jumped into a swimming pool and almost drowned cos I had forgotten my water wings.. Then about a decade ago my appendix blew up.. While I was waiting to be operated on I was literally slowly dying and when I was about to go under I had to say to myself. Dude, you may never wake up again.. Very scary and  a very painful thing to happen let alone the recovery time for something like that.. Really frikken nasty.  I read after on some forums dedicated to people who have been through the same thing  that  the pain you get when that happens is the nearest thing a man will ever experience to the pain of childbirth. 

Edited by Rabs
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About a year after I came home from Nam I was in a Car Accident in a VW out in the middle of nowhere somewhere near Oxen Hill, Md... If your familiar.. It was 3:00 in the morning. I’d been on a year long Binge & we were heading somewhere... I was so F’d up from Nam I couldn’t be sober.. My Wife had enough & we parted ways about a week earlier... I don’t blame her.. It was all me...

I was so wasted I couldn’t drive & asked my buddy if he was ok & he said, yeah... All I can remember was rolling & rolling & being thrown all over the Car. Banging my head several times..  A while later I regained consciousness & was laying in the middle of the Road.. My Buddy said when we hit the retaining wall I got thrown threw the windshield & flew some distance and landed on my head. The VW was a couple hundred feet away upside down & had ended up down an embankment...

My head was split open & I was bleeding. My Buddy barely got a scratch.... We stood on the side of the road hoping to get a ride to a Hospital... 

It seemed like we waited for hours for a Car to come but nothing.... The bleeding from my head was getting worse.. I was in pain but felt numb at the same time. I could feel myself fading out.... I literally saw my life in my head... I knew it was my time... I told my friend, I’m gone.. 

I believe I died that night.

I woke the next day in the Hospital.. I was cut & banged up pretty bad. Bandages & Stitches all over my body. They shaved the top of my head & performed some kind of Procedure.. I had 132 Stitches in my Head..

My ex wife was good enough to call my Dad in Minnesota. He was there by the time I got released from the Hospital... I spent the year at my Dad’s in Minnesota Rehabbing from that accident... When I was well I moved back to  California where I’d grown up.... 

So I believe I’ve already died once.. But, God decided it wasn’t my time.... Since then I’ve always thought I’m on borrowed time.. It was a life changing experience & after that accident I don’t believe I was or am the same Person... I try to live accordingly. It’s very weird & strange...

All of that said, I am grateful & feel blessed.. I know there are miracles. I’m one... I’m loving life & hope to be here a long time.. 

I guess I’d like to be playing my Guitar & singing a Song when my time comes... After all, I believe that’s why I’m here....

Edited by Larsongs
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minimal/zero suffering all around.

Cherry said she'd like to live one day less than me so she'd never be alone. So if we could go together that would be ideal. One difference; she's a Christian, so expects a sequel to life. 

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On March 28, 2020, my 91 year old mother was driving her car through the car wash and had a “massive brain bleed”. The car wash attendants found her in her car, unresponsive. The ambulance came, she went into the hospital, her condition confirmed, and she passed away about 20 hours later. The medical staff have assured me that she felt nothing and wasn’t even aware. That’s about as close to dying in ones sleep as you can get. 
 

I just don’t want someone to “find me dead”, either on the floor in front of the toilet or having bled out by the table saw. 
 

I was with my first wife when she passed away in 2011. She had so much morphine pumped into her, I have no idea if she knew it was her last day. That’s a mixed blessing for both her and me. 

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with clean underwear....., lost my 102 year old step mom and our 15 year old cat yesterday....Im hoping for nite time quik heart attack later in life  ,much later....live long and prosper folks....Jim

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JVI, sorry for your recent loss.

I only had one close call with an untimely demise. 

I was about 18,  on a friends  10 speed bike.  It was spring and the roads still had the winters sand on them.   I was going down hill and around a corner, moving pretty quick.  I looked at the back tire as I felt I was losing traction on the sand, I have no idea why I did that.

When I looked up, there was telephone pole directly in my path.  with in an instance the bike hit the pole  square. I literally flew by the telephone pole side ways like I was shot out of a canon,  I heard the WOOOSH as I passed by the pole.   I landed the side of the road on the other side of the pole where there was soft ground.  and just rolled in the dirt until I stopped. 

Some of the neighbors were out on their porch, and saw the hole thing happen.   It was a small neighborhood, they owner of the house knew me and they all came running over to check on me.    He just said, "Son, I was sure I was going to see you die"  I just looked at him half dazed and said, "yea, that was a little too close for me"..  

Needless to say, that was the last ride that bike was ever involved with.

as for how do I want to go?

I guess my answer there is God put us here when it was time to be put here, he'll come back for all of us when it's time to go. 

I just don't want to be a burden on family, and I don't want to linger around and go inch by inch. 

Maybe something like 120 miles an hour with my hair on fire,  kind of like that day on the bike so many years ago now.

 

 

Edited by kidblast
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First, to KSDADDY:  I too, was with my wife when she passed Dec. '18.  I know that loss.  

And condolences too, for JVI.

And so, for a bit of levity----  I once read a plaque in a store that read:

"When I die I want to go like my grandfather... Peaceful, in his sleep.  Not screaming like the passengers in his car. "  

And a story of three old men, one 75, the second 87, and the third, 96.........

The 75 year old said, "You know, when I die, I'd like it to be fast.  Like a plane crash or car accident."

The  87 year old said, "I agree.  But also painless, like in my sleep."

The 96 year old said, "You guys can have it your way.  I' rather be shot by a jealous husband."  [wink]

Personally, I'd rather go also in a quick but painless manner.  And many years from now.

Whitefang

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10 hours ago, Larsongs said:

About a year after I came home from Nam I was in a Car Accident in a VW out in the middle of nowhere somewhere near Oxen Hill, Md... If your familiar.. It was 3:00 in the morning. I’d been on a year long Binge & we were heading somewhere... I was so F’d up from Nam I couldn’t be sober.. My Wife had enough & we parted ways about a week earlier... I don’t blame her.. It was all me...

I was so wasted I couldn’t drive & asked my buddy if he was ok & he said, yeah... All I can remember was rolling & rolling & being thrown all over the Car. Banging my head several times..  A while later I regained consciousness & was laying in the middle of the Road.. My Buddy said when we hit the retaining wall I got thrown threw the windshield & flew some distance and landed on my head. The VW was a couple hundred feet away upside down & had ended up down an embankment...

My head was split open & I was bleeding. My Buddy barely got a scratch.... We stood on the side of the road hoping to get a ride to a Hospital... 

It seemed like we waited for hours for a Car to come but nothing.... The bleeding from my head was getting worse.. I was in pain but felt numb at the same time. I could feel myself fading out.... I literally saw my life in my head... I knew it was my time... I told my friend, I’m gone.. 

I believe I died that night.

I woke the next day in the Hospital.. I was cut & banged up pretty bad. Bandages & Stitches all over my body. They shaved the top of my head & performed some kind of Procedure.. I had 132 Stitches in my Head..

My ex wife was good enough to call my Dad in Minnesota. He was there by the time I got released from the Hospital... I spent the year at my Dad’s in Minnesota Rehabbing from that accident... When I was well I moved back to  California where I’d grown up.... 

So I believe I’ve already died once.. But, God decided it wasn’t my time.... Since then I’ve always thought I’m on borrowed time.. It was a life changing experience & after that accident I don’t believe I was or am the same Person... I try to live accordingly. It’s very weird & strange...

All of that said, I am grateful & feel blessed.. I know there are miracles. I’m one... I’m loving life & hope to be here a long time.. 

I guess I’d like to be playing my Guitar & singing a Song when my time comes... After all, I believe that’s why I’m here....

Lars, thanks for your service....and welcome home Brother!

Those were bad times.   I hope you had a good life since this incident.

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2 hours ago, jvi said:

with clean underwear....., lost my 102 year old step mom and our 15 year old cat yesterday....Im hoping for nite time quik heart attack later in life  ,much later....live long and prosper folks....Jim

So sorry for your loss.   I hope we all get 102 years.

I know how painful it is to lose a friend, (pet) especially after 15 years.   We were breeders, exhibitors, judges of dogs for 25 years..... since 2019 we lost 4 dogs....was very painful.

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I'm not sure I've ever seriously thought about how I might pass.

I used to kid about getting caught by a jealous husband....but I've got such an exceptional wife and life, I can't even kid about that anymore.

I just know I would like to see my grandkids graduate high school, at least, I'd be close to 90 by then.

I can't complain.... I've lived a life FAR better than I deserve.

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1 hour ago, DanvillRob said:

Lars, thanks for your service....and welcome home Brother!

Those were bad times.   I hope you had a good life since this incident.

Seems weird to say that it may have been a miracle.. It changed everything. It truly was a life changing event & experience.. I was never the same after... I truly think I may have got a new Soul or something. I became a totally different person.

My life is great, it is the best it’s ever been.. I’m very blessed... 

Thank you..

Edited by Larsongs
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8 minutes ago, Larsongs said:

Seems weird to say that it may have been a miracle.. It changed everything. It truly was a life changing event & experience.. I was never the same after... I truly think I may have got a new Soul or something. I became a totally different person.

My life is great, it is the best it’s ever been.. I’m very blessed... 

Thank you..

Thank God!

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38 minutes ago, Larsongs said:

I was never the same after... 

This reminds me of when I switched from nachos to breadsticks. 

No, seriously, I was always appalled by how returning Vietnam vets were treated by those who had the luxury to avoid it. Happy to hear your life turned around. 

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47 minutes ago, Pinch said:

 

No, seriously, I was always appalled by how returning Vietnam vets were treated by those who had the luxury to avoid it. Happy to hear your life turned around. 

It was a different time then.... the majority of the country was against the war...and as it turns out..... @69K died; @250K were injured, and MILLIONS have died since from Agent Orange....and South Vietnam STILL became communist, (much like we're doing today).

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