Truisms

[sparquelito]

Ever have a thought so profound, undeniably-true, and awesome, yet one that the rest of society will probably never get on board with?

I did, this very morning.

I was at the local nursery, and chatting with my neighbors about soil, plants, and fertilizer, tomatoes, hot peppers, and a variety of other things related to gardening.

The neighbor lady said, "You know, if we could teach all the world to plant a garden, we could solve world hunger!"

Another gal chimed in, "Yes. There are so many sustainable resources, and abundant mechanisms and supply chains. If all nations worked together, we could solve world hunger in a matter of three-to-five years!"

A stranger (probably an engineer) leaned in, and offered, "It's a matter of distributing water, and proper irrigation, particularly in the arid regions. I'm guessing ten-to-fifty years, best case."

I (being me) remarked, "Truth be told, we could solve world hunger in five minutes flat."

My next door neighbor knew me well.
He shook his head, and asked regretfully, "Uh, how could we do that, Sparky?"

I looked off in the distance, smiled briefly, and then frowned myself into some semblance of a stoic face.

"Easy. We pass an international law, today, ending  all prohibitions on cannibalism."

I looked up with a disturbingly-eager smile.
"I really think that that would do the trick."

I looked around. "You do agree, don't you?"

I don't get it.
Everyone scattered, and went on about their day's errands and chores.

Truisms.
Sometimes the truth hurts.

😬

Edited May 2, 2021 by sparquelito

[jvi]

odd story but thought provoking...  

"you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink..."

[Whitefang]

On a different note and.....

Not as "profound" as endorsing cannibalism,   but still a "truism"-----

Some years ago, a couple old friends and I were discussing  how one can determine when they reach middle age. (by now, we're all well past it.   ).  Some came up with all sorts of ideas, but I hit it on the head when I replied...

"You can tell when you're middle age when you wake up in the morning, and it's your BACK that's stiff!"  

  Whitefang

[sparquelito]

24 minutes ago, Whitefang said:

On a different note and.....

Not as "profound" as endorsing cannibalism,   but still a "truism"-----

Some years ago, a couple old friends and I were discussing  how one can determine when they reach middle age. (by now, we're all well past it.   ).  Some came up with all sorts of ideas, but I hit it on the head when I replied...

"You can tell when you're middle age when you wake up in the morning, and it's your BACK that's stiff!"  

  Whitefang

Brilliant!!

🙂

[RBSinTo]

18 hours ago, sparquelito said:

Ever have a thought so profound, undeniably-true, and awesome, yet one that the rest of society will probably never get on board with?

I did, this very morning.

I was at the local nursery, and chatting with my neighbors about soil, plants, and fertilizer, tomatoes, hot peppers, and a variety of other things related to gardening.

The neighbor lady said, "You know, if we could teach all the world to plant a garden, we could solve world hunger!"

Another gal chimed in, "Yes. There are so many sustainable resources, and abundant mechanisms and supply chains. If all nations worked together, we could solve world hunger in a matter of three-to-five years!"

A stranger (probably an engineer) leaned in, and offered, "It's a matter of distributing water, and proper irrigation, particularly in the arid regions. I'm guessing ten-to-fifty years, best case."

I (being me) remarked, "Truth be told, we could solve world hunger in five minutes flat."

My next door neighbor knew me well.
He shook his head, and asked regretfully, "Uh, how could we do that, Sparky?"

I looked off in the distance, smiled briefly, and then frowned myself into some semblance of a stoic face.

"Easy. We pass an international law, today, ending  all prohibitions on cannibalism."

I looked up with a disturbingly-eager smile.
"I really think that that would do the trick."

I looked around. "You do agree, don't you?"

I don't get it.
Everyone scattered, and went on about their day's errands and chores.

Truisms.
Sometimes the truth hurts.

😬

It's one thing to be the Eator. But an entirely different matter to be the Eatee.

Be careful what you wish for.

RBSinTo

 

[Rabs]

Coldplay are sh*t ....

Nothing truer than that..  

 

😄 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Rabs

[jdgm]

"How's your food?  What was it you ordered?"

"I'm having baked Sparquelito in swampy mojo sauce.  It's a bit gristly and sinewy actually.  How about you?"

"Well these stir-fried breast steaks are ok but a bit fatty.  It's -"

"You know (leaning forward and whispering) - there's still a black market in white meat."

"Yeah but I think this is kosher, especially now the euthanasia act has been passed.  It's all properly aged and certified."

"Uh - no connection, but how are your folks?"

"Well....Dad's signed a contract with the organ harvesters, so...5 years.  It's an offshoot of Amazon.  But anyway, he reckons he'll be taken to Soylent long before they come get him."

"Oh.  Ok. "

"No worries - cheers and bon appetit!"

Edited May 2, 2021 by jdgm

[sparquelito]

I'm enjoying the additional truisms being offered up, and really loving the cannibalism humor. 

(Cannibalism humor. Is that even a thing?  Maybe we invented it.)

To be clear however, my posting wasn't meant to be taken as an endorsement of, promotion for, or celebration of, cannibalism. 
I am personally very much opposed to the practice of one man eating the flesh of another. 

The truism was that solving the problem of world hunger could be accomplished really quickly by opening up that absurdly-dramatic avenue, and allowing for it. 

It was so nonsensical and yet pristine in it's truth, I just had to share it. 

It's kind of like, "How do we solve the problem they are facing in China and India, where the number of men is 70 million greater than the number of women?"
(And it is a problem. Men are growing up and finding a scarcity of available women to marry.)

The solution is easy. 
Legalize polygamy in those countries, and allow women to have multiple husbands. 
Then nobody is lonely, and everybody who wants to be married can be married. 
 
Right?
😐
 

[jdgm]

An American (possibly from Northern Alabama) goes on holiday to a resort in Mexico.

On his first night, as he is eating in his hotel's restaurant, the head waiter comes to ask if his meal is ok.  "Yes - delicious!" He says. "But tell me, what dish is that patron over there being served - the dish with the two enormous meatballs?"

"Ah senor," replies the headwaiter; "this afternoon there was a bullfight, and so we have the finest freshest beef tonight;  the gentleman you ask about has ordered the bull's cojones - one of our most special dishes".

"Wow!" Says the American. "That sounds great, may I order some?"

"Senor - there is not another bullfight until Wednesday, so there will not be another opportunity until then."

"Well I would like to reserve the cojones from Wednesday for dinner that night."

"Ah...si, senor."

Wednesday evening comes around and the American takes his seat in the restaurant, enjoys his starter and is then served his main course which he tucks into lustily.

The head waiter appears and enquires if everything is alright.

"It tastes excellent!" Says the American. "But please tell me, why are these cojones so much smaller than the ones I saw the other night?"

 

There is a pause.  The headwaiter clears his throat, then says;

"Well senor....you see.......sometimes the bull wins."

 

 

Edited May 2, 2021 by jdgm

[sparquelito]

29 minutes ago, jdgm said:

An American (possibly from Northern Alabama) goes on holiday to a resort in Mexico.

On his first night, as he is eating in his hotel's restaurant, the head waiter comes to ask if his meal is ok.  "Yes - delicious!" He says. "But tell me, what dish is that patron over there being served - the dish with the two enormous meatballs?"

"Ah senor," replies the headwaiter; "this afternoon there was a bullfight, and so we have the finest freshest beef tonight;  the gentleman you ask about has ordered the bull's cojones - one of our most special dishes".

"Wow!" Says the American. "That sounds great, may I order some?"

"Senor - there is not another bullfight until Wednesday, so there will not be another opportunity until then."

"Well I would like to reserve the cojones from Wednesday for dinner that night."

"Ah...si, senor."

Wednesday evening comes around and the American takes his seat in the restaurant, enjoys his starter and is then served his main course which he tucks into lustily.

The head waiter appears and enquires if everything is alright.

"It tastes excellent!" Says the American. "But please tell me, why are these cojones so much smaller than the ones I saw the other night?"

 

There is a pause.  The headwaiter clears his throat, then says;

"Well senor....you see.......sometimes the bull wins."

 

 

I find this story very hard to swallow. 

🤔

[Brucebubs]

I'll never look at a meatball in the same way again.

Edited May 3, 2021 by Brucebubs

[Retired]

12 hours ago, Whitefang said:

On a different note and.....

Not as "profound" as endorsing cannibalism,   but still a "truism"-----

Some years ago, a couple old friends and I were discussing  how one can determine when they reach middle age. (by now, we're all well past it.   ).  Some came up with all sorts of ideas, but I hit it on the head when I replied...

"You can tell when you're middle age when you wake up in the morning, and it's your BACK that's stiff!"  

  Whitefang

I was 16 years old the first time I threw my back out. I was doing squats and as I came up, the bar shifted on my neck and nearly lost the weights. I jerked it back up on my neck which caused the bar to swing and that threw my back out. Terrible pain and that was my beginning  of on going back problems. Tobby, my nephew, has had his back fused, pinned, screwed together and in braces at a very young age and is in great pain every day. He hasn't  worked since his  20's because of it. 

[Karloff]

On 5/1/2021 at 9:39 PM, jvi said:

odd story but thought provoking...  

"you can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink..."

"you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think" - Dorothy Parker

[jvi]

33 minutes ago, Karloff said:

"you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think" - Dorothy Parker

 

 "or him"

[badbluesplayer]

No offense, Squeaky, but I think you make stuff up to try to make a point.  

Anyway, yesterday I was in astronaut training and I saved a burning busload of kids.

[Karloff]

[Sgt. Pepper]

18 hours ago, Rabs said:

Coldpay are sh*t ....

Nothing truer than that..  

 

😄 

Do you mean Coldplay?

[kidblast]

2 minutes ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

Do you mean Coldplay?

Gawd I hope not, that's like my all time favorite band...  oh wait a sec...  no,,  no it's not... ,what was I thinkin? was I thinkin??  hard to say, as I rarely do..

[Whitefang]

2 hours ago, Karloff said:

"you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think" - Dorothy Parker

You do recall that was Ms. Parker's response to a friend's challenge to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence, right?    Always loved that one.

 

11 hours ago, Retired said:

I was 16 years old the first time I threw my back out. I was doing squats and as I came up, the bar shifted on my neck and nearly lost the weights. I jerked it back up on my neck which caused the bar to swing and that threw my back out. Terrible pain and that was my beginning  of on going back problems. Tobby, my nephew, has had his back fused, pinned, screwed together and in braces at a very young age and is in great pain every day. He hasn't  worked since his  20's because of it. 

My friend, I believe you misconstrued the meaning of that  "BACK that's stiff"  reply.   

Whitefang

[Mr. Natural]

Speaking of cannibalism...

 

[Mr. Natural]

 But, seriously ... the number one problem facing the world today (in my opinion) is overpopulation (remember Paul Ehrlich, "the population bum"?).  It would probably take at least one or two generations to solve (humanely) the overpopulation problem,  but eventually world hunger would be solved as well.  Maybe.

[Sgt. Pepper]

4 hours ago, jvi said:

 

 "or him"

A male whore is a gigolo.

[Sgt. Pepper]

I'm still trying to understand why the pic got posted of the  girl and the guy in the bow tie.

[Karloff]

2 hours ago, Whitefang said:

You do recall that was Ms. Parker's response to a friend's challenge to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence, right?    Always loved that one.

 

My friend, I believe you misconstrued the meaning of that  "BACK that's stiff"  reply.   

Whitefang

yes. she, HL Mencken & a few others had a drinking game where they would throw a word out and they had to use it in a sentence. lol

[sparquelito]

5 hours ago, Sgt. Pepper said:

I'm still trying to understand why the pic got posted of the  girl and the guy in the bow tie.

Because I like to post nonsensical, seemingly-unrelated, and vaguely disturbing images, whenever I write a bit. 

There's the original posting that waxed and waned between absurdity and dark humor, right?
It was a lark, but an unsettling lark. 

So the photo posting associated with the original bit should be, accordingly, a bit off-kilter. 
A movie poster from Soylent Green, for instance, would be cheap and predictable. And un-funny. 

An image of the Uruguayan soccer team, after surviving the crash of Flight 571 into a mountainside, cooking and eating bits of the flanks of their fallen comrades, on the other hand, would be too heavy-handed. And grisly. And also un-funny. 

So, in the end, a cheery, clearly borrowed from the internet image of two happy dorks sitting in a garden was in order. 
It speaks to a contrast between dark and light. 
Reality and nightmare. 
Ginger and Mary Anne. 
Treble and Rhythm. 
The poker chip. 

I'm gonna shut up now. 

😬