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So no, this thread isn't about frequently mis-heard song lyrics.
That's boring, and it's been done to death.

This is about my brain's synapses.
I post this so that I may better understand my affliction.

You see, I may have a disease.
Or a malady if you will.
A disorder.

I can hear and learn perfectly innocuous, wonderful song lyrics, and then my mind goes off somewhere, and invents vulgar, obscene, juvenile variations on those same lyrics.
And then I sing them in my head.
Sometimes at band practice.

Worse yet, in my advancing years, I have been known to sing them out loud at work, or in public, while shopping for groceries.

Imagine being the lady turning the corner from the fruits and vegetables into the coffee and cereal aisle at Kroger, and bumping into me singing along to the muzak coming from the overhead speakers:

While Paul Carrack sings, "Tempted by the fruit of another,"
I'm happily singing along, "Tempted by the cooch of your mother..."

Jody Watley, "Now you're like the rest, unworthy of my breasts".

Elvis Presley, "Tell me dear, are you horny tonight?"

And those are the most harmless and benign examples I can name.
The list is long, and it's incredibly salacious and scandalous.
Really terrible stuff.
Too vulgar to post here.

The question is this;
Does anybody else do this, or is this a psychological, sociological aberration of my own device?
Am a pervert, or maybe a savant?
Is this madness, or a gift?

Throw me a bone, here.

😔

 

trix_in_straightjacket_crop_by_dazinbane

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Your avatar tag line says you suffer from Tourette's syndrome - perhaps an offshoot of that?  My old band and I sometimes did the same thing (mostly instigated by the drummer), but it was only done at band practice for our own amusement and never done in public or during a performance.  I doubt it is the stuff of a savant, nor perversion or madness but simply a way to occupy your mind during otherwise somewhat boring activities (grocery shopping, band practice etc.).  

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The weight. 
Chorus the verse you make up as you go along, which can be comical. 

Smoke a big old fatty

smoke a fatty for free

smoke a big old fatty 

smoke a big old fatty on me.

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I'm always changing lyrics on well known songs. I do it in humor though and both Deb & I do it to the dog when he does something funny. Yes we are both senile, We talk and sing for the dog like he's talking. I do it so well, I have had many kids and people ask the dog a Question and then ask me: "What did he say?" LOL  It is Hilarious! 

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3 hours ago, Twang Gang said:

...My old band and I sometimes did the same thing (mostly instigated by the drummer), but it was only done at band practice for our own amusement and never done in public or during a performance.... 

When I was in college, a little three-piece from a different part of the state would come to town a couple of times a year and do a few nights at a couple of fern bars we used to frequent.  They DID do the same thing IN public, DURING a performance.  They were hilarious.  I wish I could remember their lyrics to "Muskrat Love" (among other songs).  They were a little raunchy, but the bar management didn't seem to mind, or maybe bar management wasn't paying attention when these guys were on stage.

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Myself and a friend used to sing our own nastier version of “Baby, Let Me Bang Your Box”  at The University of Missouri.  It was a blast doing it in the student Union.  ...I’m assuming some folks remember Doug & The Hot Nuts.   They didn’t get a lot of radio time (especially with the title of this song), but they were pretty popular on the college circuit back then.

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Yes, well I consciously like to have fun with song lyrics. So do some artists. Bob Weir created arguments among fans about the lyrics to 'Playing In The Band' coz sometimes he'd sing 

Some folks up in treetops
Just look to see the sights

or

Some folks up in treetops
Just looking for their kites

In 'Dream a Little Dream of Me' : I like to change

Birds Singing on the Sycamore Tree to this: Birds Sick upon the Singapore Tree

and any song with 'Paradise' in it I will alter to 'Paraguay'.

 

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I'm guilty of that too.

The guy I play acoustic shows with is great at changing things up spontaneously to match what's going on at the moment where we are playing.

I have a funny (maybe you had to be there?) if kinda long story of that. We were playing a local bar. There was a guy in there that I recognized from back in high school but never really knew him. I noticed he was talking to Steve and Steve's wife motioned for me to go over there for some reason. He seemed to be bugging Steve as he was trying to set up PA and she wanted me to save him. So I went over and introduced myself and said I remember him from high school. Then I realized he was a little "special". The locals call him Waynes World because he's stuck in the 80s mullet and all.  Anyway he was going on and on about Eddie Van Halen and how he can play guitar just by tapping the fret board and he was demonstrating on his beer bottle.  There was a full table of our friends watching the whole thing in amusement as I couldn't break away from the conversation without being totally rude. Finally Steve just started playing and I had no choice but dismiss and and start the gig. As we were playing "How Forever Feels" there's a line that says "I want to know how Jimmy Buffet feels" but Steve sang "I wanna know how Eddie Vann Halen feels" 😀. The table in front of us all busted out laughing and Waynes World looked at us in confusion.  I had trouble getting through the song from laughing even though I felt a little bad for the guy. 

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I used to play in a country-rock band 40 years or so ago.  We did "Okie From Muskogee" and sometimes the singer would substitute "I'm proud to be an Okie From Muskogee" with "I'm proud to have a bogey up my nosey"..... just to see if anyone would notice.  [wink]  

Edited by jdgm
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Years ago I was in the car with public radio on Prairie Home Companion and Garrison Keillor did Dylan's Don't Think Twice it's Alright. He changed the third verse from:

Sittin' and a wondering' walking down the road.

I once loved a woman, a child I'm told.

I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul,

Don't think twice, it's alright.

To: 

I once loved a woman, it was you I'm told.

I know I'm hard to handle, now that I am old.

Don't think twice it's alright.

 

I liked it so much it's now a staple of my solo acoustic sets and is a hit with the older crowd with the hints of dementia/memory loss.

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Remember the song, "Walk Like An Egyptian"?  

Some parodied it  with "Walk with an e r e c t i o n".  [wink]

The American songbook wasn't safe;

Like Gershwin's "Summertime"---

"Suppertime,  and the liver is greasy".

And Bob hope's theme was changed to;  "Thanks for the mammaries."   [wink]

But on a more serious note,   I've heard this done  without trying to be funny by respected artists.  On Chuck Berry's song "Rock and Roll Music"   he sings;

"Rock and roll music, any old way you choose it/   It's got a back beat you can't lose it/ Any old time you use it."      But in The Beatles' cover,  I hear John Lennon sing;

"Rock and roll music/any old way you choose it/ It's got a BLACK beat you can't BLUES it/ Any old time you use it."   [wink]

Whitefang

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10 hours ago, MissouriPicker said:

  ...I’m assuming some folks remember Doug & The Hot Nuts.   They didn’t get a lot of radio time (especially with the title of this song), but they were pretty popular on the college circuit back then.

Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts. I lived down the street from him during one summer in Chapel Hill (Carrboro). And yes, there was hardly a month  that would go by when he wasn't playing in the basement of some UNC frat house. 

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I always sing this to myself when I hear this BJ Jovi classic.

John's

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
Darlin', you give love a bad name

Mine

Bite on my balls
And you're to blame
Darlin', you give me a sharp pain

Edited by Sgt. Pepper
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15 hours ago, Retired said:

There have been several songs in the past where I thought they were singing one word and it was totally different.  

That would make it a mondegreen, which the OP said he wasn't intending to mean.   He meant the changing the lyrics of some songs to make it mean something else.    For instance....

The local "classic rock" station here in the Metro Detroit area, WCSX FM back in '98 did a parody about then Washington Capitals' goalie Oleg Kolzig,  as the Red Wings were in a Stanley cup battle with them at the time, and changed the Title and Lyrics to Roy Orbison's "Only The Lonely" to-----

We swept them as easy as we did Philadelphia the previous season!  [cool]

Whitefang

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5 hours ago, Whitefang said:

We swept them as easy as we did Philadelphia the previous season!  [cool]

Hmmm this year Caps are 2nd place in East Division with 77 points while the Wings are tied for 7th place in the Central Division with 48 points.   Maybe it's time me to write a new song.  😄

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I'll settle for a new coach.  [wink]   I never thought Blashill was the guy.

Anyway, back on track, I've got a few CDs of that station's parodies.   They did a lot of them back in the '90's.  I haven't listened too much to the station since then so don't know if they're keeping it up.

Whitefang

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On 5/11/2021 at 6:48 PM, Sgt. Pepper said:

I always sing this to myself when I hear this BJ Jovi classic.

John's

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
Darlin', you give love a bad name

Mine

Bite on my balls
And you're to blame
Darlin', you give me a sharp pain

Lol sarge

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A lot of songs you can substitute the word "drugs" for "love" and it still makes sense. 

"Can't Buy Me Drugs"

"Addicted to Drugs"

"All You Need Is Drugs"

....and my personal favorite:

"The Things We Do For Drugs" (like walking in the rain and the snow when there's nowhere to go and you're feeling like a part of you is dying)

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14 hours ago, ghost_of_fl said:

A lot of songs you can substitute the word "drugs" for "love" and it still makes sense. 

"Can't Buy Me Drugs"

"Addicted to Drugs"

"All You Need Is Drugs"

....and my personal favorite:

"The Things We Do For Drugs" (like walking in the rain and the snow when there's nowhere to go and you're feeling like a part of you is dying)

Roxy Music just said F it and wrote Love Is The Drug.

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How about a "classic"?   [flapper]

"Nothing could be fine-a than to be in your  V*G*NA  in the Morrrr-ning!"  [wink]

"Nothing could be sweet-a than your tongue upon my meat-a in the MOOOOOOR-ning!"   [wink]

Whitefang

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6 hours ago, sparquelito said:

I have found myself walking down the hallway at work, and singing, "I'm in the mood for drugs, er, uh love, simply because you're near me....".

😔

"Drugs Will Keep Us Together"

"Make You Feel My Drugs"

"You Make Drugging Fun"

"You Give Drugs a Bad Name" 

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