sparquelito Posted February 8, 2022 Share Posted February 8, 2022 WUHAN (a poem) I once traveled to Wuhan with my brother Stan I said, “Stan, man, why are we here in Wuhan?” He said with a grin above his whiskered chin, “I’m looking to sin at the Holiday Inn in Wuhan, my identical twin.” I was taken aback, reluctant to unpack my bag and rucksack at the Holiday Inn on that cul-de-sac “But Stan, man, that’s a dangerous plan. It could shorten our lifespan to cavort in Wuhan!” But unpack we did after paying 200 Quid to a hotel clerk named Lee and he handed the keys to me I was in Room 301, Stan in 303 there was just a companion door between him and me I shouted, “Say, there’s shampoo and conditioner for free, and the minibar has brandy and Chablis!” But Stan had dropped bags and was gone and I was woebegone not an uncommon phenomenon This had happened before in Paris, and in Milan So I sighed and rang up room service feeling just a bit nervous And I ordered the ragout fin and decided to stay in After supper and a shower I read the Bible for an hour I had cut myself shaving and there was certainly no saving the towel and the washcloth and the blood-stained curtain swath I prayed the Lord my soul to keep And Stan’s too, and I began to weep As you sow, so shall you reap and I went to bed, and fast to sleep I dreamt of dark images and unholy, carnal scrimmages Bodies writhing in pleasure and agony even, in equal measure There was a mysterious lady too with a black dragon tattoo I woke with a start at half past two My pillow and bedclothes a bloody stew The hotel door crashed in at 2:32 and into my room two Policemen flew “There he is!” the clerk Lee hissed, trembling from pointed finger to shaky wrist “Don’t try to run, and don’t you resist!” “You unner arrest, Mister,” the head cop cried “People been hurt, and one lady has died!” “But I’ve been right here,” I loudly protested “It’s not right that I should be arrested!” “Don’t you lie, the blood is all around you!” The cop didn’t lie, the blood stains would astound you. “I know it looks damning, but I cut myself shaving!!” The police were unconvinced, and I was beyond saving. “We have a living witness, and she knows your face.” And so then a small woman entered the place. She was dressed all in black, she was someone I knew And on her person was a black dragon tattoo “But it wasn’t me, it must’ve been Stan.” Though somehow I knew, they had found the right man. The desk clerk grinned like a wry Chinese elf, “There was no one else, you checked in by yourself.” And so they hauled me away, they shackled me tight They ID’ed me in a line-up, and read me my rights Now I sit sadly in a cold Wuhan prison Nobody vouches for me, so savior arisen I ponder this thought from my small prison bed; Will Stan come to save me, or was he all in my head?🤔 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RBSinTo Posted February 8, 2022 Share Posted February 8, 2022 sparquelito, There once was a guy named Stan, Locked away in a cell in Wuhan, Not allowed a girl, To give him a whirl, He resorted to using his hand. RBSinTo 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted February 8, 2022 Author Share Posted February 8, 2022 19 minutes ago, RBSinTo said: sparquelito, There once was a guy named Stan, Locked away in a cell in Wuhan, Not allowed a girl, To give him a whirl, He resorted to using his hand. RBSinTo A brilliant coda, good sir. 🙂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted February 8, 2022 Author Share Posted February 8, 2022 And a nice limerick at that. 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merciful-evans Posted February 8, 2022 Share Posted February 8, 2022 Thanks for posting hat Sparky. Enjoyed it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturn Posted February 8, 2022 Share Posted February 8, 2022 That was dark. But very creative. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tega.tm Posted February 8, 2022 Share Posted February 8, 2022 That cheered me up man.. brilliant 👍 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CNJ Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 Thank God you're not from Nantucket. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 1 minute ago, CNJ said: Thank God you're not from Nantucket. What rhymes with Nantucket? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CNJ Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 Well since this a guitar forum I'll say Pluck It Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brucebubs Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 There's a guy called Sgt Pepper Who thinks Martin guitars are better His lack of decorum On the Gibson forum Has made him a great upsetter. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Brucebubs said: There's a guy called Sgt Pepper Who thinks Martin guitars are better His lack of decorum On the Gibson forum Has made him a great upsetter. You know me well, but I've owned more and less Gibson's than some here. I think I've had a total of 25 or so throughout my life, so does suck it rhyme with Nantucket? And if so, have at it. Edited February 11, 2022 by Sgt. Pepper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CNJ Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 Sgt. you got a winner there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 (edited) 19 minutes ago, CNJ said: Sgt. you got a winner there! Man that was just dropped into my lap and was just to easy not to be a retort. I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but I'm not gonna go down with out a fight. When I go to a knife fight, I bring a gun. I told Bobouz I wasn't going to do the G VS M thing anymore and for the last few days I haven't, but some guys just want to pick fights. I did it for a long time and it was lame of me, but I'm pretty quick on my feet and can hold my own. Edited February 11, 2022 by Sgt. Pepper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 Well, The only poem I know is this one! Lol. Gaily bedight, A gallant knight, In sunshine and in shadow, Had journeyed long, Singing a song, In search of Eldorado. But he grew old- This knight so bold- And o'er his heart a shadow, Fell as he found No spot of ground That looked like Eldorado. And as his strength, failed him at length, He met a pilgrim shadow- "Shadow," said he, "Where can it be- This land of Eldorado?" "Over the mountains Of the moon, Down the valley of shadow, Ride, boldly ride- The shadow replied- "If you seek for Eldorado!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 30 minutes ago, Sgt. Pepper said: You know me well, but I've owned more and less Gibson than some here. I think I've had a total of 25 or so throughout my life, so I does suck it rhyme with Nantucket? Gave you a plus for out Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparquelito Posted February 11, 2022 Author Share Posted February 11, 2022 *ahem* There once was a Sarge from Nantucket His G string he did often pluck it Though he favored a Martin He’s opened the odd Gibson carton From Bozeman they did surely truck itOkay, I’m gonna shut up now.😔 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karloff Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 a true wordsmith, lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyearspickn Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 9 hours ago, Sgt. Pepper said: What rhymes with Nantucket? Can't carry a tune in a bucket ? Sparky - that was exceptionally good. Reminds me of "Sonora's Death Row" by Robert Earl Keen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortyearspickn Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 Coasty Chief hove to in Nantucket Leaky boat, no oars, and no bucket So he used his Martin And some headway was startin' till the binding popped off and he said GIBSON ! 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, fortyearspickn said: Coasty Chief hove to in Nantucket Leaky boat, no oars, and no bucket So he used his Martin And some headway was startin' till the binding popped off and he said GIBSON ! Gibson doesn’t rhyme with anything in your poem. I was born in Passaic, that’s in Jersey. From Nantucket, nope. Edited February 11, 2022 by Sgt. Pepper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RBSinTo Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 Chief, Sgt. Pepper from Newport News, Held some very intelligent views, He gave Gibsons a test, Exclaimed " Martins are best", Now they're the only ones he'll ever use. Better? RBSinTo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 10 minutes ago, RBSinTo said: Chief, Sgt. Pepper from Newport News, Held some very intelligent views, He gave Gibsons a test, Exclaimed " Martins are best", Now they're the only ones he'll ever use. Better? RBSinTo Yep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt. Pepper Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 It’s might grand When you got a Martin in your hand Thats all I got Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RBSinTo Posted February 11, 2022 Share Posted February 11, 2022 49 minutes ago, Sgt. Pepper said: It’s might grand When you got a Martin in your hand Thats all I got Chief, How's this? Pepper says it's mighty grand, When he has a Martin in hand. While the Gibson folk blather, Truth is they'd all rather, Play with their glands in their hands. RBSinTo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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