callen3615 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkin Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 10 Reasons Johnny Cash Owns Chuck Norris: Reason 1. Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called "The Man In Black" and it wasn't Chuck Norris Reason 2. Johnny didn't have to fight to be a bad ***. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar. Reason 3. Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls. Reason 4. Chuck wasn't the first of his kind to kick ***. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest. Reason 5. When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad's cotton fields. That is a true bad ***. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life. Reason 6. Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was. Reason 7. Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn?t trust that son of a *****. When Johnny didn't trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on. Reason 8. Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to **** off in his own house. Reason 9. Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn't turn to gold. In the 80's, he made a song called "Chicken in Black" to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular. Reason 10. Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn't stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's *** is easy compared to kicking a drug's ***. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
callen3615 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 She said it, I didnt. Id watch your back pumpkin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkin Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 i got my big girl panties on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstMeasure Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Sure, but did Johnny Cash ever kick a guy in the side of the head while wearing a Steel Toed Wolvarine Work Boot? I Don't Think So. (JK, I like the Johhny Post, Pumkin) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
callen3615 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 And conan obrien doesnt have a johhny cash lever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkin Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Sure' date=' but did Johnny Cash ever kick a guy in the side of the head while wearing a Steel Toed Wolvarine Work Boot? I Don't Think So. (JK, I like the Johhny Post, Pumkin)[/quote'] no, see Reason #2. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLiveSoundGuy Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 I REPEAT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 10 Reasons Johnny Cash Owns Chuck Norris: Reason 1. Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called "The Man In Black" and it wasn't Chuck Norris Reason 2. Johnny didn't have to fight to be a bad ***. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar. Reason 3. Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls. Reason 4. Chuck wasn't the first of his kind to kick ***. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire' date=' Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest. Reason 5. When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad's cotton fields. That is a true bad ***. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life. Reason 6. Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was. Reason 7. Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn?t trust that son of a *****. When Johnny didn't trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on. Reason 8. Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, in true ShoutWire fashion, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to **** off in his own house. Reason 9. Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn't turn to gold. In the 80's, he made a song called "Chicken in Black" to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular. Reason 10. Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn't stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's *** is easy compared to kicking a drug's ***.[/quote'] Johnny's clearly "The Man". Great post Pumpkin. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
callen3615 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 I REPEAT! AAAAhahahahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harmonicchaos Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 very good pumkin, very good =D> =D> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Is Dead In My Basement Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Only John Petrruci can go into world domination mode on Guitar, But he doesn't because people die. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKMYeXkYcgs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstMeasure Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 no' date=' see Reason #2. ;D[/quote'] Shoulda caught that. And I bet Johnny would be wearing much nicer boots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grampa Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Chuck Norris is an actor who "plays" tough guys. He "acts". It's an act. His swishy way of talking makes me wonder about him. But he is a Hollywood type. One thing about that poster, Masturbate is misspelled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
callen3615 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 Only John Petrruci can go into world domination mode on Guitar' date=' But he doesn't because people die. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKMYeXkYcgs[/quote'] I didnt watch that but im sure ive seen it. Funny stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.