Californiaman Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kim ber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shou lder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target . The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky . Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours , Alex P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Neoconman, what were you doing in Georgia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbursted Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 You are my new hero. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSG_Standard Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 =D> Great ad! Nice Post Caliman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledzep59 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Very funny anecdote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted October 7, 2009 Author Share Posted October 7, 2009 Yeah, that guy robbed the wrong man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortcon Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 People constantly astound me with their ability to find humor in a ridiculous situation. Kudos Californiaman, excellent find! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dub-T-123 Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 Very nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... cough.... cough HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA thanks for that cali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thundergod Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Good one!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoLibMan Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 That's funny. Yeah guns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisdude Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Brilliant!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruznolfart Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Humorous, to say the least. But, from the standpoint of a ccw holder, I have questions: A. If the threat had passed, why did he present his weapon? B. If the threat had NOT passed, why did he present his weapon and NOT use it? Sorry, guys, but he sounds kinda lame to me. You pull a knife or any other weapon on me or my family, you're not gonna read about yourself in the paper the next day. And THAT's how it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matiac Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Humorous' date=' to say the least. But, from the standpoint of a ccw holder, I have questions: A. If the threat had passed, why did he present his weapon? B. If the threat had NOT passed, why did he present his weapon and NOT use it? Sorry, guys, but he sounds kinda lame to me. You pull a knife or any other weapon on me or my family, you're not gonna read about yourself in the paper the next day. And THAT's how it works.[/quote'] That IS how it works. Bastid pulls a knife on me and/or mine, he/she better use it, or I will. Kid in high school waved his Dad's switchblade in my face to impress his friends, I took him by the wrist, and broke it (wrist) against the concrete block bathroom wall (we were all in there between classes smoking) and stomped the knife to junk on the floor, and said "you ever do that again, I'll use it on YOU." Guess who got suspended from school for 3 days? I remember it like it was yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Maybe, maybe not... it comes from a lot of different places. http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Everbody likes a good story, tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laney1566 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Unfortunately if this story is true. The courts would find that the victim became the aggressor and broke a number of laws, the least of which is robbery himself. Then credit card fraud amongst other things. I agree that taking a knife to a gun fight is pretty stupid, but the guy should have held him for the Cops. I have a concealed handgun license myself and if I had to pull my firearm, I would hold the guy for the cops. The crime isn't personal which means the perp is a danger to others. Letting him go was wrong. I agree that the story is funny, but totally wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flight959 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vourot Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Good story, but does anyone really believe it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwness Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Cruz and Laney are dead on. I also have a carry permit and you would be in big trouble if you did something like that. Last March my dogs started barking like crazy about 10:30 at night. I look down the drive way and there is a pickup parked at the end just sitting there. 30 min. went by and they were still there. I grabbed my AK and look through the scope to see what they were doing and I could see a flame from a lighter. I called the Sheriff and waited an another 30 min. for them to show up. I had license plate numbers and vehicle ID in case they left the Sheriff showed up and they went to jail they were smoking Meth. I could have gone out and would have if I had not taken the carry course and learned what a mistake that would be. They were getting ready to rob me and I was ready and waiting and learned from the course you can't take the fight to them. If they would have tried to break in well I had the AK and a 30 round clip they wouldn't have made it. I also do the same thing everyday before I leave. Money, glasses, phone, and gun. CW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 It's fake, like most interweb crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 That IS how it works. Bastid pulls a knife on me and/or mine' date=' he/she better use it, or I will. Kid in high school waved his Dad's switchblade in my face to impress his friends, I took him by the wrist, and broke it (wrist) against the concrete block bathroom wall (we were all in there between classes smoking) and stomped the knife to junk on the floor, and said "you ever do that again, I'll use it on YOU." Guess who got suspended from school for 3 days? I remember it like it was yesterday. [/quote'] well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisdude Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Good story' date=' but does anyone really believe it?[/quote'] OF COURSE not.... But it would make a great intro to a comedy movie ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Californiaman Posted October 8, 2009 Author Share Posted October 8, 2009 Of Course It's A Fake. Like a cheep, Chineese counterfeit you find on Craigslist for $150.00. Who has the time to do all that when out on a date with their woman? Still, I like it. I like it alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.