nikko18 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Ok, lets not let this get out of hand but I want to hear some good musician jokes. Such as...What happened when the bassist locked his keys in the car? It took him 2 hours to get the drummer out. Note I have nothing against bassist or drummers, infact my dad is a bassist. Here's one of his joke. When ever he tells people that he play bass they ussually ask if he plays stand up. His response "No, I play lay down bass" :P Now, have at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza? Uh - a pizza can feed a family of four. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What do you call a guitarist who got kicked out by his girlfriend? Homeless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's the best way to get rid of a banjo player? Pay him for the pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 another banko joke: How do you make a banjo players car more aerodynamic? take of the Pizza sign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's the difference between a banjo player and a South American Macaw? One is loud, noisy, and obnoxious - the other is a bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's the difference between a banjo player and an Uzi submachine gun? An Uzi only repeats 40 times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingarmadillo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Q: What do you call 4 guys playing 4 different songs at the same time? A: JAZZ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GibsonByBirth Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 There once was a banjo player that stopped in a bar to celebrate landing a new gig. After a few drinks he remembered that he left his $3000 banjo in the back seat of his convertible. He ran outside in a panic. He was too late. The worse had already happened. His back seat was full of banjos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Whats the difference between a banjo and a Harley? You can tune a Harley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingarmadillo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Q: How may lead guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None- they just steal somebody else's light! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Saint Peter, wanting the new arrivals to feel at home, promised to spend some quality time with each one. He asked his first arrival of the day, "Hi! What's your IQ?" "150," he said. "Great," said Peter, as he showed the man in, "we should get together tomorrow and discuss the Theory of Relativity for a while." He asked the next person, "What's your IQ?" "120," she said. "Fine, fine," said Peter, "I'd love to take some time with you Wednesday to discuss current world politics." To the third person, he asked, "What's your IQ?" "42," drawled the fellow. "Fantastic!" cried Peter, "I've been looking for years for somebody who could help me perform a banjo duet!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GibsonByBirth Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 what's the best way to tune a banjo? With a chain saw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 funny guys... In good hands a banjo can sound cool... to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's the difference between a banjo and a chainsaw? 1) You can turn a chainsaw off. 2) A chainsaw has a dynamic range. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
six-string Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What do you call a beautiful woman on a guitarist's arm? a tattoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
six-string Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's the difference between a banjo and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrosion of conformity Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What do you call a house full of guitarists? A jail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
six-string Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 What do you call a drummer in a 3 peice suit? The defendant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher: "How much for fiddle player brain?" "2 dollars an ounce." "How much for mandolin player brain?" "3 dollars an ounce." "How much for guitar player brain?" "4 dollars an ounce." "How much for banjo player brain?" "100 dollars an ounce." "Why is banjo player brain so much more?" "Do you know how many banjo players you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
six-string Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 what did the drummer get on his IQ test? saliva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 You can pick your banjo and you can pick your nose but you can't wipe your banjo on your pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
six-string Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 why are musicians like linoleum? lay them once and you can walk on them forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 How 'bout them banjo pickers ain't they fine Same damn song for three or four times. Them banjo pickers all they know Is Cumberland Gap and doe-see-doe. Them banjo pickers talking 'bout strings Banjo pegs and other such things. Them banjo pickers, them poker faced mugs They never do smile, they just play Scruggs. You want to be a banjo picker you don't need a ticket Just get yourself a banjo rare back and pick it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riverside Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 How do you make a guitar player slow down? Put some sheet music in front of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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