duane v Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I'm just searching for guidance wherever I can find it. You're just gonna have to feel your way through it[cool] It's not the end of the world if this one opportunity slips by. There will always be plenty of girls' date=' especially if you make a conscious decision to put yourself out there. Now of course if you are looking for a soul-mate at this point in your life, you had better make sure the girl you commit yourself to "is the one." I'm assuming you're in high school, which IMO is a bit young to be worrying about one particular girl, (but hey I fell in love in the 5th grade, or I thought I did).LOL!!! I just basically dated in high school, and didn't date at all in college. I just didn't have the time, and didn't get serious with someone until I was 23 years old. In closing, keep things light-hearted with this girl if you plan to pursue it. It doesn't have to be as serious as you're making it out to be. Good-Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buc McMaster Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Most kids in school have insecurities about this or that, even those that appear to have the world on a string to others. And everyone, I mean everyone has a different perspective of themselves and those that they interact with as they make their way through life. Your insecurities and your perspectives will change as time passes, but they will always be yours - no one else sees the world, your world, quite the way you do. Bear that in mind on your journey. One word - relax. Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. Yes, yes.....it may seem like your entire existance pivots on how this girl may react to your advances, but it doesn't. She says yes and you're high as a kite and the proverbial giddy school kid. She says no and you're crushed and pushed further into your insecurities. Trust me, either way it's not the end of the world as you know it. We all get smacked down from time to time in this life, every last one of us, and we all have our moments in the sun. Learn to roll with both and you'll be a happier man for it. So I suggest telling her just what you told us in your original post. I dig you, I think we connect in a good way.......what'dya say we give this thing a go? Yes? Hurrah! No? S'okay......life goes on. The thing is to relax. Don't let the emotion of it all overwhelm you, which ever way it goes. We've all been right where you are now and we're all still standing in the batter's box, taking our swings. Relax. Strive to be happy. Pay attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shnate McDuanus Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 Well, I asked for a little bit of help, and what I got was some of the most inspirational and reassuring insight I've seen in a while. Thank you all for the overwhelmingly positive responses and the advice. I'm going to go for it. I need to learn to roll with the punches, and the sooner I get this thing done, the better off I'll be. Even if it doesn't work out this time, it'll only be this one time--so it's not going to be a big deal regardless of what happens. Thanks everyone. I'll return the favors when the opportunity to do so arises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riffster Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 My advice was going to be what Izzy said in her first point. Actually you do not have to be all confident, just not insecure and like Kolera said you are thinking too much about it and like Cruz'n said you seem well spoken and eloquent. Like playing your guitar, just get into the vibe, don't think what notes you are going to play ahead or how well you are going to play them because you are going to fumble the current notes. I found that women like guys that have the ability to embarrass themselves and be OK with it. I remember tripping and landing on a table full of drinks and girls, I handled it well, at that point I had no choice. I begged to pay for a round of drinks. When they asked me if I was hurt I said, yes, my pride is! I asked one of them out and we dated before I moved 1,500 away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Vagians have teeth...when you stick it when they dont want it...they bite it off! I say dont do it...girls cant wait intill college. Ive had like 9 gf's...were they worth it? NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfootdg Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Forget high school relationships, too much BS. like dem00n said wait untill college, everyone is more mature, and um, free spirited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrosion of conformity Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Don't listen to dem00n or bigfoot. I know it sounds lame, but listen to your heart. If she's the girl for you, then don't let her slip through your fingers. At least give it a shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Don't listen to dem00n or bigfoot. I know it sounds lame' date=' but listen to your heart. If she's the girl for you, then don't let her slip through your fingers. At least give it a shot.[/quote']Dont listen to CoC. Your heart can be wrong to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrosion of conformity Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 But it isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfootdg Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I firmly beleive if it is meant to be it will happen, maybe not now but it will happen. I didnt mean to be discouraging but alot of high school relationships have too much unneeded stress and trouble, that is why I said to wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowdown Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Don't listen to any of them. Be a man and listen to what your d*ck says. He's The REAL Boss.:- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruznolfart Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Vagians have teeth... Vagians? Vegans? Virgins? Vegas? Virginias? What the...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 First... you said you're "going for it," Best of Luck! Even if you end up not being "special" now, believe, me, you may find in 40 more years you are very special to each other and that will mean more then than it will now. Izzy really nailed a lot of it exceptionally well from a girls' perspective I wish I'd heard. ...But she may still be young enough herself not to consider one or two other factors I didn't at her age. Even the "popular" girl, as the "popular" guys, may be as insecure inside as the "geek" or anybody else. It's just being manifested differently. Yah never know who may think you're kinda neat. But if they've drawn a certain kind of picture frame around themselves, it may be harder as Izzy said, to connect with someone with a different high school image. Every kid your age is insecure and frankly, many times their rejection of "you" is really a response to their own insecurity rather than to whoever or whatever "you" are. I'd say the same thing to a girl wondering about guys, too. By the way, "old people" are just as damned insecure as you teenagers. We rationalize that insecurity with different logic, but... <grin> There's really not much difference. I guess what all of us are saying, in a nutshell, is that genuine acceptance and friendship you should take personally, but recognize that in youth, friendships shift because we all shift in our interests and attitudes. But that never changes. I was, and would be today if I were to be out dating, super-shy myself with girls - I think. Yet I've had some folks, both boys and girls, suggest I'm one of the most outgoing people they know. Think about that one: I think I'm shy, they think I'm outgoing???? What is real? The major difference to me between a "sex attracted" friend and a "non-sex attracted" buddy regardless of genetics or preferences is that you get a bit closer to the "sex attracted" person and you touch more and enjoy it. <grin> Still, you've always gotta be true to yourself; don't take everything personally (that's the hardest advice for all of us); and bite your lip until it bleeds if you get angry or frustrated that apparent attraction isn't returned. As I said - we're all insecure; we just show it differently. It's kinda like performing on stage with a guitar. You hate like the devil when you figure you blew it, but... what the heck, getting angry doesn't help so you keep practicing at it and head back into the fray. That's life. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I say go for it, but with one caveat If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. If it works out, but there is too much BS, don't do it. High school relationships are full of drama, some are great, but if they aren't, it is usually a disaster. Don't wanna be a debbie downer, but don't get the mindset that she is the only one, cuz she ain't. I plan on waiting til college, for now, i just hit on all the chicks i can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I say go for it' date=' but with one caveat If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. If it works out, but there is too much BS, don't do it. High school relationships are full of drama, some are great, but if they aren't, it is usually a disaster. Don't wanna be a debbie downer, but don't get the mindset that she is the only one, cuz she ain't. I plan on waiting til college, for now, i just hit on all the chicks i can [/quote'] well said, personally I dont have the stomach for most of it. I mean if it seriously feels right, go for it. "You can't taste the honey without the sting of a bee" - James Morrisson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Vagians? Vegans? Virgins? Vegas? Virginias? What the...? I spelled that wrong so i wouldnt get banned. Hey im thinking smart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silenced Fred Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I spelled that wrong so i wouldnt get banned.Hey im thinking smart! So poor spelling does come in handy Whodathunkit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 So poor spelling does come in handy Whodathunkit Shouldnt you be locking yor windows and doors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Let me tell you, rejection can be wonderful. Let me explain...I had seen this insanely gorgeous guy at my school before and one day at the gym I saw him again and I went right up and hit on him. He rejected me politely. He was so hot, I didn't see the bad side. All I thought was, "I went up to the hottest guy on the gym. I have balls." That same year I saw an incredibly attractive chick at a club and I just had to try. This one went for me instantly. I made out with the hottest girl in that club because I knew that worst case, she'd say no. No isn't bad. Its bad when she says, "I'm ****ing your brother," or "he's not yours." I'm not saying just hit on people, I'm saying courageous behavior pays off even when you fail. Oh, and dem00n, you don't have to tell us you've had 9 girlfriends and then go on about how lame it is to want a high schooler. He's asking advice on how to get what he wants, not weather he wants her or not. High School relationships can be meaningful and special. If your opinion differs then you've been with unworthy chicks. My only two high school partners turned out to be incredible, and we had LONG term relationships (5 and 8 years each). I'm NO ****, and I only have dated 3 people my entire life, but to say high school isn't a place where you can learn and grow and even meet the love of your life...pfft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kolera Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Don't listen to any of them.Be a man and listen to what your d*ck says. He's The REAL Boss. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kolera Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 ... I'm NO ****... Too bad. The world needs more of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowdown Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Too bad. The world needs more of those. Love me long time baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milod Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 For what it's worth, the older you get, the more you tend to like people as people. I like girls. Always have. Lots. Bunches. Still do. And believe me, at my age and beyond boys are still boys and girls are still girls regardless. It's just that you've a tendency to have a wider circle of friends and girls are friends rather than just potential "dates." Izzy's right, also, about "rejection" not being all that bad. It can save a lotta money and hassle regardless how old you might be. <grin> Actually rejection is likely best for dating at child-production age since it can save you from producing children with someone you probably shouldn't produce them with. That is a double way to save money and a lotta hassle. OTOH, it's also why I'm waiting until I grow up to have kids - which, at my age, is almost certainly unlikely. <bigger grin> My best overall advice, especially to folks your age, is that everyone may be a friend at some time in your life. Even if there's no "click" today, even the jerks may end up a close friend in 2, 5, 20 or 50 years. One just never knows. So if you always are "nice," you've set the stage for a nicer life. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.