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Gilliangirl

Banjo guy is pissing me off

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Okay, here's one of those Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus things, so please tell me who's wrong here. If it's me, I'm woman enough to accept that (probably).

 

Banjo Guy and I agreed 4 weeks ago that we would get together at 7 pm on April 30 after he returned from a vacation in Santa Barbara. This date was arranged after much discussion over his very busy life. I am available for practice all day Saturday/night, all day Sunday/night and all day Monday/night. He's available for 2 hours on Friday night. So we finally FINALLY agreed on a date to practice. He returns from Santa Barbara and sends me an email on Thursday afternoon (April 29) asking if our plans are still on. I sent him an email back about 20 minutes later saying 'sounds great, see ya tomorrow, etc'. So I leave work today, fly home at lightening speed, clean the house, make h'or'duevres (I'm too pissed off to check the spelling on that atm), chilled wine, changed strings on guitar, vacuumed the house, etc. I'm sitting here tuning the guitar at 6:45 and I notice that the light is flashing on the phone. I check the messages and Banjo Guy has left me a message stating that he sent me an email and never heard back so he's assuming we're still on and I should call him on his cell. So I call him on his cell, expecting that he's on his way, and he claims he never got my email and he's already made other plans, so we'll have to practice next week. I can hear people laughing in the background and I'm wondering now how serious he is about playing music?

 

Am I wrong to be questioning this? I'm ready to tell him to forget the whole thing, and look for someone who's a bit more committed (OMG there's the C word!)

 

Am I over-reacting?

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Sounds to me like he's got too many things going on at once. You're probably going to end up competing for his time, in one fashion or another. That puts him in control.

 

Do you want to be controlled?

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Sounds to me like he's got too many things going on at once. You're probably going to end up competing for his time' date=' in one fashion or another. That puts him in control.

 

Do you want to be controlled?[/quote']

Nope, I can't be bothered with game playing and attempts to control the situation. That's why I broke up with the last one. Scott, that's exactly what I was thinking..... he has his pilot's licence and flies all day Saturdays. He spends all day Sundays with the girlfriend. Both of those are admirable and understandably important activities. So I agree, he may be a bit over-extended if he thinks he's going to squeeze practice in for 2 hours on Friday night. Oh, and even if he had come over this evening, he has to be gone by 9. Sheesh. I'd hate to live my life that way. Not my cup of tea.

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ummm' date=' time to find another banjo guy I'd say. Better yet, make it a guitar guy.[/quote']

Can't find any, already tried. [crying]

I like your avatar Thabesh. I have that album somewhere in the basement.

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GG.....look he IS a Banjo player......(no offence to anyone who plays one on the forum).....but really. The sight of one at our monthly jams makes my stomach upset......lol....sorry to hear about your dissappointment.....you are worth MUCH more than that GG....

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I think the term "Banjo guy" goes a long way in answering your question.

 

 

 

Now that's funny!!!!

 

[crying]

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GG.....look he IS a Banjo player......(no offence to anyone who plays one on the forum).....but really. The sight of one at our monthly jams makes my stomach upset......lol....sorry to hear about your dissappointment.....you are worth MUCH more than that GG....

Thank you OWF. He just sent me two emails saying he was sorry and had even bought a nice bottle of wine (?). He also said he found Harry & Tonto (a movie we were talking about 4 weeks ago) and he'd drop it off on the weekend. I guess he can stick it in the mailbox because I'll be at the horse barn all day tomorrow and Sunday I'm going to help my friend transport a mare to a vet clinic in Strathmore (she's due to have her foal in June and I'm beyond excited!). In the meantime, I'm advertising on Craig's and Kijiji for another guitar/banjo player. This whole thing is creeping me out and I think I've had enough (already).

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Karen...

 

For what it's worth, regardless of the "sex" of persons involved or any of the ramifications of that on a "pickin' and grinnin', relationship, I'd be more than off-put by your experience. Just a personal opinion. I've hadda back out on "dates" with girls as boy-girl dates, with friends as supper-with-friends, and fellow pickers of both sexes as pickin' sessions - but I've always busted my bippy to let them know well ahead of time. I expect the same. It sounds as if you didn't get that.

 

But then... I'm a grouchy old person. <grin> And have been for the past 40 years or so since I was about 15.

 

Hmmmm. You pays your money and you takes your choice. But... Yeah, I'd be off-put.

 

m

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Just an observation Karen.

 

You looking for a pickin' partner... or something requiring more commitment?

 

I'm reading mixed signals. Maybe he is too.

 

Just an observation... don't shoot the observer.

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Just an observation Karen.

 

You looking for a pickin' partner... or something requiring more commitment?

 

I'm reading mixed signals. Maybe he is too.

 

Just an observation... don't shoot the observer.

No no no no no, just a picking partner Tommy. I advertised as such on Craigslist and he answered the ad. I said I wanted a guitar player to jam with. He answered, saying he was a banjo player. I agreed to meet and we actually hit it off well. He's a good player and we like the same music. We also sing really well together. I was quite impressed. He has a girlfriend. This is not about that at all. And his girlfriend is fine with everything. This is strictly on the up-and-up. Actually, he stated that he was impressed at the musical dynamics we were able to create in just 2 hours and was the one to suggest we continue on. But it's just a musical arrangement, and that's all I'm looking for. Him too.

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Karen...

 

For what it's worth' date=' regardless of the "sex" of persons involved or any of the ramifications of that on a "pickin' and grinnin', relationship, I'd be more than off-put by your experience. Just a personal opinion. I've hadda back out on "dates" with girls as boy-girl dates, with friends as supper-with-friends, and fellow pickers of both sexes as pickin' sessions - but I've always busted my bippy to let them know well ahead of time. I expect the same. It sounds as if you didn't get that.

 

But then... I'm a grouchy old person. <grin> And have been for the past 40 years or so since I was about 15.

 

Hmmmm. You pays your money and you takes your choice. But... Yeah, I'd be off-put.

 

m[/quote']

Thanks Milod. Yeah, I think that's what bothers me the most.... the last-minuteness of this. If he wanted to cancel he could have done so much earlier, which would have saved me busting my butt trying to get home, cleaned up, etc.

The nice thing is I've got fresh strings on the guitar and the house is spotless, so I can pick away tonight guilt-free and happy.

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To quote the warden from Cool Hand Luke, "what we have here is failure to communicate".

 

When hiring musicians for gigs or confirming rehearsal dates, I rely on nothing short of face-to-face, and/or person-to-person phone contact. Since the advent of e-mail and voice-mail, the phrase "I'm sorry, I didn't get your message" has become an easy way to avoid and ignore commitments, assignments, and deadlines.

 

One of the guys in my blues band doesn't even have e-mail, so I have stayed in the habit of personal contact and confirmation.

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To quote the warden from Cool Hand Luke' date=' "what we have here is failure to communicate".

 

When hiring musicians for gigs or confirming rehearsal dates, I rely on nothing short of face-to-face, and/or person-to-person phone contact. Since the advent of e-mail and voice-mail, the phrase "I'm sorry, I didn't get your message" has become an easy way to avoid and ignore commitments, assignments, and deadlines.

 

One of the guys in my blues band doesn't even have e-mail, so I have stayed in the habit of personal contact and confirmation. [/quote']

 

LOL

what we have here is failure to communicate
I can hear him saying that in his accent! Yeah, I really question the excuse that he didn't get the email. He has the same server that I have, and mine's been fine. He asked me to re-send them, so I did. He got them both, at his home account and work, this time.

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Give the obsessive goofball the heave ho. Needing to confirm a set appointment more than once points at a nightmare list of bad personality traits, any one of which ought to cause you to hit the brakes on this relationship and look for another partner.

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Yup. I just found another email I had sent him on April 20th (in response to his email) confirming the 30th for our next jam. This email went to both his work and home email. He really had no excuse. Sooooo, I just gave him the boot. Via email! Whatever.

My quest for a fellow guitar/banjo player continues. As Elvis once said, 'easy come, easy go'.

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Well...

 

Karen, your fellow Canadian Ivan Daines did a cover of "Ride me down easy..." It's got some good lines...

 

BTW, where's Innisfail from Calgary?

 

m

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Oh my gosh, I hear Ivan Daines' voice every morning, announcing the livestock auctions in Innisfail. Innisfail is about 30 minutes south of Red Deer, about an hour north of Calgary. I haven't been there in years. They have a lot of livestock auctions there [biggrin]

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Karen...

 

Never been there. Heck, never been on the land surface of Canada. Flew over it plenty in another life en route to other continents, but...

 

Met Ivan a cupla times at a stock show down here.

 

Good rider in his time; some of his music was pretty good, some was like in the wrong key and nobody bothered to transpose it.

 

Ever go up to his Country Music Picknick?

 

m

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... a vacation in Santa Barbara... his very busy life...h'or'duevres...chilled wine...people laughing in the background ...

 

Once I briefly picked up a banjo in a store, and a slew of super models rushed over and said "Pick me you Appalacian Love Machine..."

 

Sounds to me like Banjo Guy is on the High Roller A List in Vegas, showgirls, free luxury suites, no credit limit...

 

Everyone resents the real world adoration heaped upon banjo players, hence all the banjo jokes which stem from jealousy..

 

You're lucky he even took your call, let alone met with you once face to face...

 

Didn't you notice his banjo strings were made of golden twine ?

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