Izzy Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 For several months things have not been well between my boyfriend and me. We reached the conclusion that our relationship is over. I fell for my best friend without realizing it did not help things. I did not cheat and my friend is not aware, just to make things clear. I'm not an a$$@#%e. Everything was going civil the night we broke up. We reached the agreement that as soon as my house was ready to be moved into I'd go, but then he got drunk. Very gently, though firmly, he took me by the shoulder and pinned me to the wall. He wrapped his fingers about my neck and applied enough pressure to let me know he could hurt me, but he didn't leave a mark and I didn't lose my breath. I was not scared, I was disappointed. He said he wanted to break something and demanded I tell him how I "could do this to us." First thing I did, after he passed out, was take my guitars to my mom's house. I felt like a battered wife taking her kids to safety, no joke! Now I'm playing a Strat knock off I got for super cheap and I realize...a good guitar is priceless! Even through my Blackheart tube, it is sad to hear. On the up side, though there have been a couple hurdles, soon I should be moving into my very first house. I went with something less expensive than I had originally looked at getting. It should be only about 1/3 of my income monthly, without utilities. I can't wait! Sorry, just ranting, feel free to add your own story of heartache or speak out on your expirience with shitty guitars through good amps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Sorry to hear about your break up, there are more gummy bears to be eaten. Any shity guitar can be turned into a great guitar. A mod or two can fix alot of things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tman5293 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Sorry to hear about your break up' date=' there are more gummy bears to be eaten. [biggrin'] Any ****y guitar can be turned into a great guitar. A mod or two can fix alot of things! I'm going to have to disagree with this. A piece of **** will always be a piece of ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Breeze Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Im very sorry about this, he obviously does not deserve u. But after this P.O.S. guitar, ur good ones will seem even better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Sorry about your breakup. I didn't have the same situation as you, but I married my best friend without any heartackes. There is no one out there that can even come close who can stand me, lol (exaggerating, I hope). Sometimes the "pretty things" out there can be distracting, but like someone said "I want to sleep with a lot of women... But I've got to think." I'm a believer, and I know God sent me my woman. I would be 6 feet under if it wasn't for her. For me, I have to say not even guitars could help me enough to get through something like that. I don't know, maybe it would help, but I know really what gets me through everything is Him. I'm just telling it like it is for me, nothing else. Here's hoping for better days for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Breeze Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Izzy there is no excuse for domestic violence and I feel this guy was a total arz in this situation. I wish there was a way to convey in words to the seriousness of my reply and neither you or any woman should have to fear their man or domestic partner. He deserves a swift kick from a older brother.............. +100 No doubt where that kick should be either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I'm glad you are safe! The "gentle" strangle worries me A LOT!! You need to get out now, and far away. I have a friend who does counseling for battered and abused women, and he really crossed a line. What happens if next time he does not "control" himself, you should stay at your mom's, tonight! Very concerned, Aimee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KL Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Nobody deserves to be treated like that Izzy. A line has been crossed and it's time to get out. Be safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazzboy Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Izzy you made the right decision on this one. It's good thing you found out now about this and not down the road when the two of you were like like Husband and wife and you too have children together. Apparently he isn't going to take the too well and if I were I wouldn't let my guard down about this in fact I wouldn't let him near you at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAS44 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I'm sorry to hear that, that kind of violence shouldnt be tolerated on any level. Honestly, you he should gethis *** handed to him (too violent? Nah). He went wayy over the line, you know that though. I hate guys like that, honestly. Congrats on the new house though . Nothing like a good guitar eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveinspain Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I wish the best for you Izzy... Too bad you didn't wait to tell him until your house was ready.... Just sayin'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 Thank you all for your kind words. To be honest, I was not even scared when he did that last week. He's been gentle and generous since. Also, he let go as soon as I said, "I'ma tell your mama." I didn't even think of cops, though one of my best friends is a cop and lives 15 minutes away. I phoned her as soon as he let go. She gets two texts from me daily or she comes over. Again, I feel safe enough to stay. He's leaving for work (two weeks out in the ocean) soon and he's not drinking. Though, yoda, I know I'd be dispensing the same advice you gave if our roles were reversed. I can't believe I'm one of those girls! mustang, the whole, my guitars will sound SO good once I get them back...I can't wait. I feel like this will help me appreciate them more. For whatever reason, maybe because there are lots of men on the forum, I was thinking I might hear a male perspective that could redeem his nutty behavior, but I guess that's not what I'm going to hear. Don't get me wrong, I know on some level it was wrong, but I felt sorry for him and only a little alarmed. Could be the guilt that's been eating me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepblue Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Im so sorry Izzy. Its an old saying but true...When the love has gone, move on. You did the right thing and you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to step away. Theres no excuse for violence. Hes not a real man, and just hearing that disgusts me. Take heart sweetie, and know all of us here love you like a sister and are here for you 24/7. It does get better...trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thundergod Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Congratulations on getting rid of that guy, you don't belong together, and from what you say, he doesn't really deserve you. I lost a guitar to an ex GF once... li'l #%& gave it to some friend of hers. Idiot sold it for less than half of the real cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 The "one left behind" is usually hurt, and wants to hurt back. Males often use physical force and females mental and/or monetary. Of course that is a generalization and doesn't apply to everyone of either gender. A civilized person resists the urge to hurt back. Sometimes excessive drinking brings out violence in people as it lowers their inhibitions. No, I'm not making an excuse, it was "wrong action". I wouldn't stay with a person who was either physically or mentally abusive. Good luck to you. Notes ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WahKeen Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Alcohol is what let that behavior out, if I didn't misread. Avoiding situations is the best answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Izzy There is no excuse for this guys behaviour, he may be playing nice nice now, but inside he is seething...and his temper will get the best of him again...I am a firm believer that every woman should take self defense classes, when someone has wrapped their hands around your throat, that is a life threatening situation, make no mistake.... You were seconds away from being in big time bad mojo.... Calling the cops or a friend that is 10 minutes away would not have helped you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dleth Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Thank you all for your kind words. To be honest' date=' I was not even scared when he did that last week. He's been gentle and generous since. Also, he let go as soon as I said, "I'ma tell your mama." I didn't even think of cops, though one of my best friends is a cop and lives 15 minutes away. I phoned her as soon as he let go. She gets two texts from me daily or she comes over. Again, I feel safe enough to stay. He's leaving for work (two weeks out in the ocean) soon and he's not drinking. Though, yoda, I know I'd be dispensing the same advice you gave if our roles were reversed. I can't believe I'm one of those girls! mustang, the whole, my guitars will sound SO good once I get them back...I can't wait. I feel like this will help me appreciate them more. For whatever reason, maybe because there are lots of men on the forum, I was thinking I might hear a male perspective that could redeem his nutty behavior, but I guess that's not what I'm going to hear. Don't get me wrong, I know on some level it was wrong, but I felt sorry for him and only a little alarmed. Could be the guilt that's been eating me...[/quote'] Izzy, Glad you seem alright. I can't think of any perspective that could possibly excuse or redeem that type of behaviour. Please keep your distance. I can only think that if my daughter were in that type of situation, I would strongly suggest the same and intervene if required. Take care. Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff-7 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 For whatever reason' date=' maybe because there are lots of men on the forum, I was thinking I might hear a male perspective that could redeem his nutty behavior, but I guess that's not what I'm going to hear.[/quote'] There is no excusing or redemption for that kind of behavior. It seems like he only agreed about your conversation in order to appear rational but in reality it is boiling inside of him right now. Ticking time bomb in my opinion. Glad you're currently safe and hope you get out of the situation as soon as humanly possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iddude Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I personally think you should have been very scared when he put his hands on you. Of course he's gentle now; but how long will that be before he has an issue with you again. I would suggest that you take the relationship with this guy very slowly; seems to me you're putting yourself at serious risk. Take care of yourself and keep a phone nearby if he's around. Seems that the guitars need you more than he does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duane v Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Izzy Wherever the road takes you, I hope it rises up to meet you and takes you where you need to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dem00n Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I'm going to have to disagree with this. A piece of **** will always be a piece of ****. You know when the les paul came out guitar players thought it was a piece of ****. I guess its ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaxson50 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Izzy, you write; "For whatever reason, maybe because there are lots of men on the forum, I was thinking I might hear a male perspective that could redeem his nutty behavior, but I guess that's not what I'm going to hear. Don't get me wrong, I know on some level was wrong, but I felt sorry for him and only a little alarmed. Could be the guilt that's been eating me..." You have heard the perspective of many males on this forum and to a man we are telling you, this guy is bad news...I'm not trying to sound harsh,,, but I believe your in denial, this is a common reaction to such situations.. You want some perspective? You want to "redeem his nutty behavior"? What did you want? Someone to tell you it will be OK? - He was just in a bad mood? What you had was a wake up call...don't wait for the next time, this guy has issues with women and the next time he may really do some damage.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Izzy Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 He hadn't ever done it before but you're all right. Next day he said he was not one bit sorry for doing it and that he never would lay a hand on me again. He just "needed to show you somehow" how he feels, and the depth of pain but now none of my friends feel sorry for him and in a way it will make leaving him easier. Thanks for putting things in perspective. I honestly felt like he was somehow in his right, though it felt off. Now I know it was a deal breaker. Only thing I can play on this poor guitar is punk! lol, long as I have something to strum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Natural Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Hang in there, Iz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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