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Clever People Poem Christmas Thread


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And so to the pawn shop he sadly did truge

To trade in the gift he did so begrudge


And what to his wondering eyes did appear?

A drunk old pawn broker with a 12 pack of beer


And there in the corner his eyes did appraise

An old Lifton case with the lid slightly raised


"Shur alll traade," the pawnbroker slurred

"Cuz zat one is new and thiss one'ssss a turd"


And back to his home he went filled with glee

To place the old 'burst under his tree

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Visions of Jimmy Page

danced in his head

as he tucked in his wife

and jumped into bed.


I'm as tickled as punch

she did hear him say

I can't wait to open it

on Christmas Day


Then, in the morn

as the sun came around

he awoke with a start,

left the bed with a bound


He cried "that's the last time

I eat turkey with cake!

I dreamed all last night

'twas a damned Chinese fake!"

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So he raced down the stairs

Taking two at a time

Hitting the landing

He turned on a dime


He ran to the tree

Threw open the case

And lifted the 'burst

Up close to his face


With this close inspection

He soon did decry

It's real, it's real

Ima break down and cry!

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But his wife came down, too

Just hold on there jack!


No convertible for me

and the dang thing goes back!




But he jumped from the floor

gave his good wife a squeeze

"In the toe of your stocking's

where you'll find the keys!"

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So they went back to bed

Both filled with cheer

He'd got 'large' with exitememt

'Would you like this dear'


Jesus Christ'

She cried out with shock

'has that guitar done that'

It was hard as Rock


He 'rocked' her all night

With his mind swimming round

'my beautiful guitar'

'how will it sound'?

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At last he was able to plug the 'burst in.

Slung it over his shoulder and, breaking into a grin,

Set the amp up as normal; treble at 7,

Mid, bass both at zero; Vol at eleven.


Strummed the strings - oh! so gently! She made such a sound!

Page, Clapton and Green; all their tones could be found!

He tried a Barre'd 'A' but all was not as it ought-a!

With a mind of it's own it played "Smoke On the Water"...

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