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Music jokes site....HERE!! (safe for work ) copied a couple..omg some are 2 funny.



Q: How many Electric Guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb ?


A: Five. One to change it and four to discuss how Eric Clapton would have done it.



Q: Why are concert intermissions limited to 20 minutes ?


A: So you won't need to retrain the singers.



Q: How do you get 2 electric guitar players to play in perfect unison ?


A: Shoot one of them.



Q: How do you know when the drum riser is level?


A: The drummer is dribbling out of both sides of his mouth

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A little music theory knowledge will help you on this one:


C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

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A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest.

They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.


The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is

"Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop."


The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent.

Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears.

The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!"


The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!"


The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?"


Wild-eyed, the boy responds, " . . . BASS SOLO!!!" -


(apologies to Victor Wooten)



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do you know the difference between a HARLEY and a HOOVER???????????????????????? [confused] [confused] [confused] [confused] answer POSITION OF THE DIRT BAG

just a slight derail! [flapper]



Reminds me of the old joke about the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?


One has the pricks on the outside!

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