onewilyfool Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Punography I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst . A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. PMS jokes aren't funny, period. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz . Energizer battery arrested. Charged with battery. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner ? Oh deer. Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarrr Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Seems Steven Wright got out of the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmer Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 sir you've got a raindrup on your nose. That'snot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyHeart Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Anyplace is within walking distance ,if you have the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmer Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 this is pling plonged on a L1! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elmer Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 what friends are for: My link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j45nick Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 You guys need to get back on your meds, before you start lighting f-rts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daryl M Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 My all time favorite comedian was Mitch Hedburg. He was the master of random thought. He'd say things like, "I like to eat rice when I am hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something." Or his classic, "I used to do drugs. I still do them, but I used to do them, too." YouTube him. Laugh. Repeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindboygrunt Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 My all time favorite comedian was Mitch Hedburg. He was the master of random thought. He'd say things like, "I like to eat rice when I am hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something." Or his classic, "I used to do drugs. I still do them, but I used to do them, too." YouTube him. Laugh. Repeat. ditto , love that humour , guy ws a genius no doubt . theres a british guy , bit whackier . milton jones .... but same school 'when my grandad was ill we used to rub butter on his back .... he went downhilll very fast after that ' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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