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My Dream Guitar


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My pipe dream? Does anyone else find the dream appealing?


Well...I had an ES-135 (2003, mahogany block, stop-tail, Classic 57s, f-holes), I had an ES-137 Classic (2008), I had two different ES-335s (1978? and 1995) and I had a chambered Les Paul Standard (2005, I think); and although I liked them all, I never loved a single one (which explains the past-tense: "had"). So far, the only Gibson/Epi product that I have fallen for (head over heels) is an Epi Epiphone Emperor Regent (1996).


What I'd love to find is a Gibson that looks like this:


Body: solid, chambered mahogany (hollow wings only, ES-137 or -335 dimensions).

Top: plain arched/carved maple (with f-holes)

Neck: mahogany (50's profile, 24.75" scale)

Headstock: 17˚ angle, 6-in-line, straight-string pull (DG-, Firebird-inspired design)

Fretboard: baked maple or ebony, plain dot inlay

Tuners: Grover kidney

Nut: corian or bone (but placed so there's no intonation problems if using 10s or 11s)

Pickups: 490R/498T (all nickle/chrome hardware)

Bridge/Tail: Tune-o-Matic and Stop-tail

Controls: standard: 2 volume, 2 tone, 3-way selector (old-school speed knobs with the rubber ring)

Finishes: (Gloss nitrocellulose lacquer) natural for me and a couple of the transparent finishes and black for everyone else.

Wiring/Electronics: good Gibson-standard stock


Philosophy: a bling-less guitar that plays great, sounds amazing and stays in tune, with woods that want to sing together, with a design that addresses most of the short-comings that a certain group of 3-on-a-side designs have a tendency to manifest (although, some of those so-called short-comings could be called strengths, too).


Believe it or not, my 2001 Parker Hornet stays in tune better, plays better, sustains better, etc. than any Gibson in my list above (Epi withstanding). Why? This shouldn't be the case.

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