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Ryan H

C, E-flat and G walk into bar...

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...and the bartender says: “Sorry we don’t serve minors”, so E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

 

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

 

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

 

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

 

Found this and couldn't resist...

 

Let's see what you guys have got.

 

-Ryan

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...and the bartender says: “Sorry we don’t serve minors”, so E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

 

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

 

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

 

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

 

Found this and couldn't resist...

 

Let's see what you guys have got.

 

-Ryan

 

The story continues.......

 

C shouts EEEEEEE when getting out of jail. I was so D - pressed all I could think was G wiz A person could B really F’ d up if they stayed in there too long.

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I like that one Ryan.

C is dressed real sharp and he freaks out when his twin brother Db walks in. The bartender will not serve him because he is a minor 2nd. They both decide to fade out and go home on Scale Street.

 

 

Best I could do without taking a rest.

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Long pause and then a crescendo of random notes come running in the bar demanding direction from the bartender. The bartender has one look at the cascade of discordance and demands a full stop. He listens to their demands one by one until one tenacious D stands out, solo before him and says, look I am very open but I have come here with A who is my relative and my hot headed son D who has brought his friend F who is very sharp. We come in harmony and together we stand as strong as Kirk Douglas in the movie Spartacus, who by the way has a cleft chin. At that point the bartender says ENOUGH!! Hold your breath and count to 7 or out the door to settle the score...

 

Daveinspain... :-({|=

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This is a bit of fun from 10CC.

 

"I Bought A Flat Guitar Tutor".

 

First, the lyrics alone;

 

I bought a flat

Diminished responsibility

You're de ninth person to see

To be suspended in a seventh

Major catastrophe

It's a minor point but gee

Augmented by the sharpness of your

See what I'm going through

Ay to be with you

In a flat by the sea

 

Then an explanation. This extract courtesy of Wiki...

 

"I Bought a Flat Guitar Tutor" is a song by 10cc appearing on their 1977 album, Deceptive Bends.

 

The song is quite short and often thought of as a novelty piece amongst fans. The lyrics to the song are all puns for musical terminology. Whenever Eric Stewart or Graham Gouldman sing the name of a chord the chord is played as part of the music to the song. The chart below attempts to explain the complex idea.

 

  • I bought A = A major (A C♯ E)
  • [A] flat = A Flat major (A♭ C E♭)
  • [A flat] diminished = A Flat diminished (A♭ Cb E♭♭)
  • Responsibility (responsibilitE)= E Major (E G♯ B)
  • You're de ninth = D9 (D F♯ A C E)
  • Person to see = C Major (C E G)
  • To be suspended = Bsus4 (B E F♯)
  • in a seventh = A7 (A C♯ E G)
  • [a seventh] major catastro- = A Major 7th (A C♯ E G♯)
  • phe = E major (E G# B)
  • It's a minor = A minor (A C E)
  • point, but Gee = G major (G B D)
  • [but gee,] Augmented = G augmented (G B D♯)
  • [Gee, augmented] by the sharpness of your = G sharp augmented (G♯ B♯ D♯♯)
  • See what I'm going through © = C Major
  • A (A) = A Major
  • to be (B) with you = B Major (B D♯ F♯)
  • in a = A Major
  • [in a] flat = A flat
  • by the sea = C Major

Finally, if you want to try to play along........and I wish you Good Luck!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epQ44Zbo15k

 

 

P.

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