When the Christmas hoopla finally gets out of hand

[PrairieDog]

1 hour ago, RBSinTo said:

PrairieDog,

Forgive me if I'm treading on your toes, but I truly don't understand anyone's actions or reactions stated in this post.

RBSinTo

yeah, it was probably tmi.  Just trying to describe what it has been like dealing with this pair of emotionally indulged, undisciplined kids.  

We don’t have any, so when they were born we had hopes, you know. Being older and kidless, we are fortunate to have some play money to help with anything they wanted, not that their parents don’t take good care of them, we just can easily handle special extras.  The mom lets us know what the desire of the moment is and we usually can make it happen.  We just want to have a connection and maybe be a fun memory in their lives.  We want to make all their dreams come true.  (Okay, “thank you” is not an expectation, it’s just basic manners.) 

But the kids couldn’t care less about us.  The parents are oblivious to their behavior, and rarely guide them to be kinder or more gracious.  The girl openly displays her distaste to the point she has pointedly turned her back when I try to chat with her.  Seriously, one time the topic was going to be about setting her up with a horse and riding lessons for the summer being at that tween-girl horse obsessed stage.  She was so over the top rude, there was no engaging her, even her mom tried to cajole her to talk to me, knowing what was afoot.  Faced with her pronounced disinterest, we finally lost enthusiasm for the project and didn’t pursue it any further.  She never knew she coulda had that pony every kid wants, chuckle. 

Being the adults in the room we know it’s our job to be big people hoping they will outgrow their self-centeredness, so we take the emotional blows in stride when they deal them out.  (Okay, there will be venting on the car ride home.)  

It’s just they are the only next generation relatives, I have no family on my side, and time is growing shorter to get to know them and be a part of helping them along.  Right now, it’s looking like they may be disappointed when the will is read and the Humane Society ends up with a bigger share (half joking).

Edited January 3 by PrairieDog

[fortyearspickn]

We have a granddaughter who is growing out of that phase.  She wasn't half that bad.  Just turned 12.  I give her guitar lessons.   From what you've described re. your 14 y/o niece - I would rather have a dog than a niece, granddaughter or daughter like that.  Being from an older generation than her parents - I would not put up with that carp.  it will only lead to her being a dysfunctional, anti-sociable person with no real friends or joy in her life.    You might tell her now about the Lost Pony story.  Might result in an awakening.   G'Luck.

[PrairieDog]

4 hours ago, fortyearspickn said:

We have a granddaughter who is growing out of that phase.  She wasn't half that bad.  Just turned 12.  I give her guitar lessons.   From what you've described re. your 14 y/o niece - I would rather have a dog than a niece, granddaughter or daughter like that.  Being from an older generation than her parents - I would not put up with that carp.  it will only lead to her being a dysfunctional, anti-sociable person with no real friends or joy in her life.    You might tell her now about the Lost Pony story.  Might result in an awakening.   G'Luck.

Thanks, nod.  It’s often on the tip of my tongue but when the time is right, ie not at a big holiday gathering, which is the only time we see them now. I figure the topic will come up at a proper moment, when she can actually process it, and not just get defensive.  

Anyway, they’re the other half’s family so I gotta be big and smile along. But yeah, I sure wouldn’t be wasting anytime with them otherwise.  

Edited January 3 by PrairieDog